Day 652 – No one gives a fuck when you die

You have no idea what happens after death, and you are incapable of bridging that gap, because what happens after death is so much more, and so vastly more in every way possible that you are currently in this world that you are, simply in a wink of an eye disappear – you are in the context of the universe, which are supposed to be equal with, you are equal to only one thought that you are having in your head… Listen to the full interview by Bernard Poolman 

Breathe – ok, while listening to this interview, I was brought back to reality a lot more, in the sense of reality within and without, taking another look at life, a deep look. With the common sense presented within this interview, I simply cannot ignore the common sense and so the implications, and for me when something has an implication within common sense, I must investigate that implication and take what I see and apply it, make it real, LIVE the common sense practically and realistically. It sound easy, yet the mind is a fuckup/we are a fuckup, and what Bernard discussed proofs itself once again, we are fucked, unless we stand up as life/universe. 

If I had to die today, something happens and I die. People will not give a fuck, I mean, people will possibly feel a bit “sad” and then “morn” for a few days, but before you know it – nothing really changed, I am simply one less human on earth. Everyone else goes on with their lives, surviving, making money, chasing dreams and all the crap the system mislead people into chasing, and stress about emotional and mental problems and family issues, relationship issues, sexual issues, drug and alcohol issues, addictions, habits, patterns, people will simply fall into “life” again and forget. 

I can say this because this is my honest experience that I have had throughout time. When Bernard died, many people were sad, many cried, many felt a “loss” – Dozens of people wrote blogs of honoring Bernard and what he stood for and to honor that through their living/standing as he did. It did not take a lot of time and even such a commitment and honoring is lost, gone, as we can see throughout the years almost no one stood and lived as he did, even after writing blogs openly for all to see. I mention this point, because this point reveals a lot and just how fucked we are. 

When I look at family members or friend who have died, they have all left my memory, my life, they are gone, I barely consider them ever, it’s over, it is gone, LIFE as we call this mess of a world we have accepted and allowed and so our MIDS as the fuckup we need to end, simply takes over and nothing matters, and we are back into our own SELF-INTERESTS and putting faces on, playing games, fucking around and consider nothing really except a single thought that pops into our heads and give that attention. 

The point that came through for me within listening to this interview is – I have to care a fucking lot about myself as LIFE, as the UNIVERSE, end the thoughts, feelings and emotions and fucking get real with real implications of common sense. 

The point that hit a nail for me is where Bernard says, we are supposed to stand equal as the universe (here consider that implications in fact in practicality, not as a feeling) and yet we only stand equal to a fucking thought, so when we die, that’s all we exist as, and like a fly, we will simply be smacked and removed, as all we existed as was a nuisance, a pest, something that only cares for itself, and so no relevance.  

I write the way I do to keep it real for myself, real with myself, and so I can get to self-honesty, this process includes Self-forgiveness. My writings according to what came up for me listening to the interview is below. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep myself alive as a personality with a face that I present to the world outside of myself, as to uphold a face that “fits” in, where this face is only necessary within this system to a degree, yet selling myself out as LIFE in fact, not considering that when I DIE with eternity ahead of me, I will have fucked only myself through selling myself out to keep  face, thus showing me who I have accepted and allowed myself to become and so exposing my dishonesty as who I accept and allow myself to be for the sake of self-interest. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the faces I am paying, putting on now within this world is a reflection of who I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become over eons of time, and so to stop these faces and deception of SELF, I must face hard truths/realities of myself and this existence. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be trapped within this world design and so live a life where I trap myself within the games of this world design all for the sake of survival/fear, not considering that I will die, and so who the fuck am I then? 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as long as I stand as thoughts/feelings/emotions that I will not exist after death, as I can only be what I stand equal and one to, and thus I am not standing as LIFE/Universe and so I will simply be non-existent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the world system SO FUCKING IMPORTANT and my survival within it that I neglect myself and even abandon the fact and implications of LIFE itself as an eternal existence and so who I am as that in fact, and to rather make my MAIN focus on me standing and BIRTHING myself as life, instead of making money, surviving, caring only about my relationships, my emotions, feelings and thoughts that is limited and confined to a temporary system of enslavement. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that if I am only surviving within this temporary system and making that my focus as my life mission, and so Not make it my purpose to first and foremost rebirth myself as life, then at DEATH I would have achieved nothing but for a system to continue to exist that abuse and for myself to then NOT exist. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make survival more important than re-birthing myself as life, thus not seeing, opening up the points of I can survive with the intention of making that survival mean something that matters, where I survive to be able to have an opportunity to rebirth myself and so birth the possibility for others to also rebirth and so as more people rebirth the more we are able and capable of implementing a new world system that can give ALL life an equal and one opportunity. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT consider that when I die I have NO fucking clue what is after death, as I have not rebirth myself as LIFE as one and equal, and so death exists for me, where I simply end, thus not seeing and realizing that re-birthing self as life here is to be the universe, in living or in death. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to JUSTIFY the FACES I play of that having GOOD intentions, that thee faces I play will LATER bear benefits to life, and so in the meantime I must sacrifice myself and give myself up – not seeing and realizing that no one gives a fuck, no matter how good I think I am, when I die, people won’t care, and so I am still with me, and I did noting real and concrete for myself, so then I am fucked and fucked everything else by playing faces and deception to deceive and “survive” with good intentions. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sell myself, my own rebirth as life out to a justification of survival, for the system that is here within the starting point of self-interest, playing games of deceptions with others to see who likes who and who will benefit who and in the end, end up with death where I am all alone, all by myself and everyone else now do not give a fuck anymore, so all for nothing but temporary experiences of thoughts/characters that end. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue living as a character within the ignorance that death will not come for me, as if I have all the time in the world and can play just a little longer and then later change, yet death is sudden and out of one’s control, and one has to stand always regardless.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that petty things I am participating within my life is the small things that keep myself from re-birthing. 

I forgive myself that I have Not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that all the personal things such as entertainment, happiness, joy, purpose within this world system, goals of one’s own personal life only, and so on is that which keeps me occupied from focusing first and foremost on myself while living within this world.

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realize that re-birthing myself as life takes survival as an experience out of life, as I am already living, alive throughout eternity as the universe and so using the excuse of I must survive becomes an excuse and exposes it as just that, as one can survive yet does not have to fear it, or live in the stress of it, or fall in the trap of only focusing on that, as re-birthing mean one is HERE alive as Life for eternity. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live as less than life through the participation within thoughts. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT care for myself within the consideration of death and so the implications of death and who I am within and as LIFE here and hereafter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my life and who I am about and around other people as if what they think of me, or believe of me, or perceive of me as something that is going to rebirth me as life, when in fact literally has nothing to do with it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to CARE about what others think of me in the mislead idea that what others think of me define me and so will give me access to LIFE as eternity. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within the false idea that hat others think of me will determine who I am, thus missing the point of I must rebirth myself as life as NO idea, no belief, or opinion and stand as eternity as who I am that stands as life as what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT honored myself through standing as LIFE as who I am, and so dishonor life and myself through standing as characters/faces and fake smiles that will end at death and only contributed to abuse and nothing of actual value. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dishonor myself through giving into the fake smiles, fake characters as if they will open the gates of heaven to me, and so deceive everyone and play games with everyone within and from a point of self-interest to be in the “good books” to make it to heaven, yes the truth of such acts are evil in nature, dishonesty and deception, and f that I what lets people into heaven, then heaven is full of devils. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the common sense implications of that when I die and there is NO god, then I am fucked, as I am then all alone, and who I am will determine everything, not some entity made up in the minds of humans. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my “personal” and “petty” problems so fucking important that it consumes my life and swallows me into self-interest and so basically already make myself irrelevant and thus non-existent as all I care about is myself, my problems, how tired I am, how hard I work etc, and not give a second of my time to LIFE as who I am in fact. 

I will end here for today. As a reminder this is my blog, my writings (my points) anything that you misinterpret or take the wrong way, or even act in ways from reading this blog, that’s your points, so take it, write self-forgiveness and end the thinking, get physical and real in breath. Thank you.

Knowing versus doing - how did Jesus and Bernard do it? my Desteni Process

I am looking at my process and standing by principle, standing as the principle, embodying the principles I stand by and walk as in its totality as who I am, in all ways. 

This has been a process for many years now, and it hasn’t been an easy process at all, this I know, yet I am here. Everyday feels like I am just not yet living my principles absolutely, in totality, like there is still something missing, and I know this one thing is me Breathing effectively and walking my process and the tools absolutely, and not as something to do in pass time. 

Within many years that I have walked my process I have come across many people that stands against what I stand for, that fights, that harass, that taunts, teases and ridicules and even become nasty and spiteful towards me and the group I walk with. 

I still react and take it personal when I pick up someone is being aggressive, spiteful or even plain nasty in demeaning ways towards Desteni and the message, making comments and options based on their ideas, believes and most of all fear. 

This brought me to the question of how the fuck did Jesus do it? 

Let me take what I am looking at to a bit more of a visual point. Sure, Jesus existed in a much different time than we do, but it makes it all more real, more challenging for what he did. 

Today I can sit in front of my PC and I can reach dozens of people with a message, I can do this over and over and reach thousands, in return this message brings feedback, which is resistances and conflicts, and people actually getting it, seeing it and walking with, in Jesus time, he had to actually walk in the streets talking to real people real time, he had to actually face REAL time feedback on a consistent basis, this would be the same things as today people not agreeing, not seeing or being challenged and getting possessed by the new information and wanting to attack and harm for example, today all of this happens online. 

Yet, I find myself being put back and in a sort of a negative state each time someone is going on a killing spree with their words and intentions in relation to the group/Desteni and thus all those that walk with and so me. 

Jesus got crucified for the EXACT same message as what we at Desteni is promoting, only way more practical and real, plus we go beyond the Jesus message and into the history of mankind, which involves aliens and dimensional beings and Desteni having a Portal, talking about the afterlife, animal communication and I mean explaining a LOT in details, so that we can understand creation, ourselves and eventually walk as creators = as Jesus did, and within this we present tools, re-education and support within all of this. Nothing is going to be spoon fed or remotely being forced onto anyone, it is as the bible says, those with ears here, those with eyes see, simple and direct. 

Now, back to my point – I get what is different and standing out with Desteni from most of what “normal” people are used to, and then I also get that at the basis of everything it is the principle, the process, the message that matters, which brings us back to that of Jesus. 

Love thy neighbour as thy self

Give as you would like to receive

Do onto another as you would like to be done onto

Manifesting those as ourselves first and foremost and then economically setting the world up where those principles are the guidelines of society to always live what is best for all LIFE. 

Let’s go to a more recent example of the message, which is Bernard Poolman, and take a look at what society has done to him in terms of image and likeness, what he spoke and what he brought forward was taken and turned into all kinds of shit, personal attacks by newspapers and by many online trolls were demeaning and belittling, just like Jesus. 

Ok, so Jesus was abused even further and made into a religion, so yes that’s even worse, I mean it goes against EVERYTHING Jesus stood for and said and lived as an example, it is the ultimate way of killing a message, by creating a god and religion out of the message that is that of equality for all, to create heaven on earth, and now it is out of reach for all and lived in imaginary worlds as some place after death with some god like figure waiting for people, which isn’t what Jesus stood for or said. 

I see and realize that Jesus stood as a Principle absolutely, he stood steadfast in reality, in facts, in what is best for all, and he thus did not take anything personal, nothing was personal, because he did not stand as something personal, he stood as LIFE, and thus whatever came his way as “attacks” as the actions or words of others had no place to find comfort and rest, as the personal didn’t exist, Life existed and thus there is only space and place for life. 

How did Jesus get to this point? How did Bernard get to this Point? And why am I not at this point yet? Do I have to first face each and every point of “personal” within me to understand them and to know them as myself, as it is said, know thy self, now I know there are two selves, me as personality and me as Life (yes both are me, all is who I am, yet in the knowing I must stand and live what is best for all and bring that forth, so should I know me as personality in all ways to then know me as Life? 

I have the tools, I have the way, I know this, yet knowledge without application is useless, so here is my self-honesty after writing out all of this, everything I just wrote is a justification, it is stalling, it is postponing, it is me apparently doing something, when I know in fact the moment I react, the moment I take something personal, the moment I am in a state that isn’t me as breath as LIFE, I must write in self-forgiveness instead of pondering on the point, instead of taking the point personal and holding onto it, I know, yet I do not apply.

So here I answer myself, how did Jesus and Bernard do it? They applied what they knew and did not postpone, they did not stall or wait, and they acted and applied the knowing as themselves and thus as living examples.

I must suffer and overcome mountains before I can change

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to suffer before I can change, that something must happen to me or that I must go through something in my life for me to change and for my change to be able to be justified and have reason to why I changed, instead of changing here in each and every breath. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my change has to be justifiable through things or something that happens to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must go through a lot of conflict with others to FIND the points I must change within me as to be able to state that I have changed because of all the conflict I have faced and thus I actually create conflict deliberately within my reality to create the points of justification that I need to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must go through a complex process of experiences and situations before I can change and stand as life, where I still believe that life requires a reason and justification to change and stand as itself, as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that me here isn’t enough to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to become more to be able to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am currently as all of isn’t enough to stand as life, and thus place me as life out there as something I must reach, not seeing and realizing that this cycle will never end as I will always place I am not enough in front of me and thus have a never ending story.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that LIFE is here, I am here, that I must stop my thoughts, feelings and emotions and be here as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see myself as worthy of life and thus I have created this process of change in my head that I must go through before I can become worthy of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that LIFE as the other parts of me wants me as this part of life to suffer and punish me before I can stand one and equal with all life as all parts of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that LIFE has abandoned me and that I have abandoned myself as life and within believing this I have created an Idea in my head that I must suffer and walk a process of suffering before I can be allowed back to life, as a point of redeeming myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself form life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my life and life hard on myself through the idea nd believe I have about LIFE within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it hard t in fact see and realize that I am life and that I as life do not want me as life to suffer and wlak a long hard process, that I as life welcomes me as life to life any moment, I must simply stop my thoughts feelings and emotions and thus honour myself as life and stand as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mind as my thoughts feelings and emotions is a fun place to be within and that life as all of me isn’t a fun place to be within as I have valued my mind so much that I actually fear losing my mind, stopping my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project me changing and when I change into the future after some time, after I have walked a process first according to what I believe I must face and go through and thus create it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that the journey I believe I must first walk before I can change is the journey I create for myself, even when that journey is based on a belief and not what is real, as here in each breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ENJOY some parts of the mind too much to give up that I would rather create a massive process and journey for myself that includes suffering and pain and hardship, just to not give up the mind, my thoughts, my feelings and emotions, and habits and patterns that I have laid down to control and manipulate my reality and control my reality within self-interest and thus not give that up but rather blame life as being hard and that I will someday maybe change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on future change outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up my breath for indulging in the mind consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forsaken life and to within this blame life for making things so hard on me, yet life is Here as me as I am life I am simply not taking my throne.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it weird to say the word throne that came so naturally to me, where a throne is simply a seat of a kind, and thus I can see that finding that weird in itself shows to what level I have degraded myself from life as a seat to take with and as life as a king, as a throne has become awkward and weird instead of natural and normal, as I have contaminated the word with kind on humans of earth as the mind instead of it as standing as life in oneness and equality as all, as a co-creator.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see myself worthy of GOD, being god, that I am god.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by stories and myths and books on what it means to be god and actually stand as god where it is all magical and mysterious and BIG and amazing shit, when in fact I do not know, and thus I can drop all expectation, all projections, all ideas and opinions and simply breathe and be here, be still and know.

I commit myself to focus on breathing and to when and as I go into the mind, a thought, a feeling or emotion, a mood or an experience, to give myself a moment to focus and stabilize as breathe till nothing is moving within me and to move and direct myself from that points, even when there is a little bit of resistance, to push myself and to push through and create myself.