Day 554 - Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give attention to everything about me that is wrong and sinful except me that is LIFE one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be of SIN, even though I wasn’t born in sin, and to have given all my attention and focus throughout my life to the sins, and to within giving sin all of my attention I have limited and created myself according to sin, an imperfect human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out the positive within life, where I see and realize that the positive I seek out in life is only confirming the negative within me, the sinful me, so I see and I realize that if I am seeking anything positive as an energy then I am seeing to make up for something within me that I have judged myself as being bad/negative as sin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself a stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as physically inferior to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as immature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my big good looking smile.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for my great personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for being a good person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a person with good intentions.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a person with courage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself a s responsible person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a respectable person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a unique person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself a as good partner in relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a good citizen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a perfect son to my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a special human being in the eyes of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a product of this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a stubborn person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as an egoistic person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as incompetent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to this world I live in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to my name and what has been attached to my name as “me”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the flesh that I walk and breathe in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as an animal activist and lover.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a world changer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a sex addict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as alcohol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as eating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for enjoying food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge food as enjoyment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge water.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as water as just being here
and that I do not need to drink it nessasarely, there are other things to drink.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as healthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unhealthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place life in a judgment of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the fear of LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as separate from and of LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge self-forgiveness in all possible ways, not positive or negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the LAW of nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as THE law of the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge the legal system of the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not having limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a parent to a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a partner to another human being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a family guy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a good family guy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a bad family member.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a good father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a bad father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a bad member of the community.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a good member of the community.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as good music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as good or bad music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge bad music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge music as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all that is here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the mind consciousness systems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the conscious mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the sub-conscious mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the unconscious mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not yet understanding the science of life one and equal as how the physical functions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the separation that I exist as still within this life from and of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not standing one and equal in fact with all life YET.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the bad or good decisions I have made in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the decisions I make in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the cruel and evil shit that exist within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as war.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as racism.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as crime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inhumane acts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as spirituality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as god.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than god/LIFE/universe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as religion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as love and light.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as peace.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my penis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as vaginas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as separate from what is HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as better than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as possessions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my internal reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my siblings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my skin color.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my nose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my hair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as gossiping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as gangsters.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as corruption.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as insecurities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as other peoples actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all forms upon the face of the earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all the materialistic things that the mind has created within this world as distractions and entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all entertainment that exit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all the feelings and emotions and thoughts that come up within entertainment within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all desire that exist within all humans and within this world as materialistic designs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself AS a control freak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a nagging person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a needy person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a restless person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a stable person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a person who can be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that can be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a person that cannot be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that must be respected

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that respects others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that has honour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that honors others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that is reliable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that can be relied on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that can rely on others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as superior to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior to life and the creations of the world that exist here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being superior to other life forms within this world.

To be Continued.

Day 492 – Being myself, being natural within work

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I can in fact decide how I experience myself when I need to do something that I have labelled as “work” – where as I can decide to make this “work” an expression of myself, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are only a certain amount of things within this world that I can express myself within and that allows my expression to show, and thus all others things that isn’t within this category of “my expression” that still needs to be done, becomes a burden, a chore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that who I am as an expression of LIFE can express myself in anything that is here, as my expression is who I am and it isn’t decided by what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according what I do and thus what I do must decide how I experience myself, seeing and realizing that this is a personality design, part of the Identity crises that we face on this planet, where we have entities that decide for us what we can and cannot do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when there is something in my reality that I must do or that needs doing and I do not nessasarely enjoy it, that I cannot express myself within doing it. Seeing and realizing that this is me separating myself from what needs to be done as something outside of me, yet I am the one that has to do it, I might as well let go of all the mind point and all the thoughts and back chat and the emotions and feelings that is deciding my experience and thus how I do the task and make it part of my expression where doing the task is then one of no effort as who I am is natural to me and to within this do everything I do naturally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my expressions as not suitable for this world and to within this seek out only certain things within this world that I believe will accept me expression and to limit myself to my own judgement of my own expression to what I can and cannot do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my expression as who I am naturally is wrong and that I always need to fix myself and work on myself as my expression to fit more into this world where everyone else is doing the exact same, instead of just being myself and trusting myself as who I am and to show passion and realness through who I am instead of fakeness and pretense.

Thus I see and realize that I must also align my expression at all times within what is best for all life to make sure that my expression is abusive or harmful to others, not changing who I am but adjusting and realigning myself to be the expression that is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not know who I am within all the thoughts/feelings/emotions and back chat clouding me, who I am and within this have a contaminated expression of myself that is always lost within my own mind and thus always acting out in a certain way that seems to confirm that there is something off with my expression, not seeing and realizing that it is my expression that is naturally here without the thoughts/feelings/emotions and back chat as the MIND, and to let go of the mind I will know who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give myself a chance as my expressions, but to always fall into the mind as believes/ideas/opinions of who I must and thus what I can do, based on EVERYTHING around me since birth that has conditioned me through my acceptances and allowances of it.

I want to be free – freedom is to understand how everything works in LIFE, to not have thoughts/feelings/emotions chaining one down t a limited mind perspective – to be free isn’t to have no rules, it isn’t to not have any restrictions, it is to be able to freely express oneself as who you are within what is HERE without the mind trapping on within what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give thoughts power over my expressions, to let thoughts decide how I am going to approach a certain situation, instead of naturally walking in and expressing myself within what is here as REALITY, what I can see and direct one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to back up my thoughts with back chat as reason and logic, to keep myself save from expressing myself, in the fear that my expression will be judged by others, seeing and realizing that it is and has always only be me judging me and through my own judgment decide and make certain actions that then show/reveal these internal judgement point where other are also now seeing it and thus doing onto me as I have done onto myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR expressing myself as who I naturally am and to TRUST who I am not matter what – seeing and realizing that this trust has been lost (since I was a baby) due to me accepting and allowing thoughts/feelings/emotions/back chat to govern my LIFE that as based on the mind as deception of LIFE as the slave creator, as the web of my own enslavement to energy.

Day 456 – Being comfortable with myself Part 2.

Day 456 – Being comfortable with myself Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be comfortable with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I can and am allowed to be comfortable with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to be comfortable with myself I must wear clothes that are accepted by everyone else, instead of wearing clothes that are practical and comfortable for my body/me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I wear will make me comfortable with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the cloths I wear will change how I experience myself inside, seeing and realizing that the inside experience I must change from within by breathing in air instead of judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that how big my physical body is and how muscular it looks will make me comfortable with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the more manly I look the more comfortable I will feel with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the more LOUD I am the more comfortable I will be with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the more silent I am the more comfortable I will be with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when other people look at me that I must become self-aware of myself to be aware of what other people might think about me so that I can start defending myself already within my head and within this then become uncomfortable within myself, seeing that it is the thought and the back chat that is making me uncomfortable and not that other people are looking at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and judge others for looking at me as if they have the power to make me feel a certain way within myself, when I am in fact the only one who decides what is happening within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must feel/experience something within myself when other people are looking at me, within the believe that I must be self-aware to prove that I am aware of myself and how I look and all that to the other person, as in judging myself before they can judge me so that if something happens like they confront me I can already have an excuse or a justification for why the back chat and thoughts were accepted and allowed to compromise me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see that comfortablility comes from within, from breathing and that any thought or back chat will compromise the point of being comfortable and thus go into reactions and the mind, seeing and realizing that if there is back chat or thoughts about myself as judgements that I have that can and will come up in sudden moments to compromise me, I must investigate my physical participation as what I live and my inner and align them within self-honesty and practicality and thus live within that starting point instead of making it about a self-conscious point of being in others heads as my own judgments out of fear.

To be continued.

Day 455 – being comfortable with myself Part 1

What is it to be comfortable with myself? I have been working on this point for years, and yet it is still within me, no matter how small or how big the point is within me, it is still here.

Today I was in a new neighborhood; I faced two specific points that showed me that the point was still within me of not being completely comfortable with myself. 

I was walking across a soccer field to go to the bathrooms at one point, within this there were kids playing soccer and a couple of dozens sitting on the side-line watching, but not really watching, as they were simply talking among each other and playing.

As I was walking I had to cross the field with the kids playing, and as I was crossing all the kids were watching me, the kids were between the age of 10 to 13, so I am seen as the adult within their eyes being there, yet within myself I do not feel like the adult, I feel just like one of the kids.

So within me this created a conflict within me that started making me feel uncomfortable within myself, and thus I started walking weird and I I kept on looking downwards to the ground, also within this I noticed how I suddenly became very self-aware of the cloths I am wearing and the way I am walking and each part of my body became a point of self-awareness in this long walk, it was like a 200m walk to the toilet.

I weren’t comfortable with myself feeling uncomfortable in a sense of being self-aware in a states of self-judgement. 

Another scenario was now at night, in a new town for the first time with different people and areas and malls and so forth, within this we went to get food me and two other people on a road trip, within this we were standing outside of the restaurant waiting for our food to be prepared.

As we were standing outside by the tables, there were a group of men standing across from us on the other side of the road, they were laughing and talking and they stood around their cars in the parking lot, they looked our way a few times and as they looked they then started talking and laughing.

Within this I assumed it was about us, so I looked at the guys for a while and within this I saw them as being men, they have cars and they have money and they look like MEN, this definition is a contaminated one as it has nothing to do with being a man, where they were big, they had bellies and big arms and they were tall, everything I am not, so I started feeling like the kid. 

This then became uncomfortable within myself, not the scenario, because it is all about what went on within me, the judgements I made and placed, and this all obviously comes from how I have defined myself and the value I have placed within certain points.

Self-forgiveness in next blog, stay tuned.