Being NICE - NICENESS Self-Forgiveness

 

 

BE NICE - as my parents tell me as a child - Or ELSE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed with the IDEA of being NICE, where I must pretend to be who I am not and to deny what I see is here for the sake of an IMAGE within the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself within who I am as a child as my parents would say to me BE NICE, without understanding why, and what the reason is. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself by telling myself I did not know the reason why I was told to BE NICE, as I could see and feel it, and so had to suppress myself for those false reasons of reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SMILE and be HAPPY when I meet others as to be NICE, yet the reality of what is here isn't nice and never was, and I had to go along with it or ELSE?? 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go along with the BE NICE or ELSE agenda through accepting FEAR of what else could happen within me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of what will happen if I am not nice, yet rather self-honest here within who I am as an expression of life within reality as what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build a character that is always NICE, as I fear for my survival if I dare simply being here as what is here and to have real conversations, to really get to points, versus pretending as I was taught to do to survive or ELSE!!!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR for my survival if I am not NICE, that people will hate me, place me aside, think I am rude, and so not give me the benefits of the system. 

I forgive myself,f that I have accepted and allowed myself to to be NICE to the system that is currently here that enslaves humanity and tortures the innocent out of fear of becoming the tortured or the one that does not benefit from the system as billions do currently. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself create an image of me in my mind that is of the OPPOSITE of Nice if I dare letting go pretending to be nice, SEEING and realizing that is also part of the problem, the polarity and that I must simply develop and create myself within the principle of what is best for all, and so within that I will develop a me that is in each breath equal and one with who I am and nothing more and nothing less, as I remove Thoughts, feeling and emotions from the interaction, and instead replace it with equality as life between me and another with my mind involved, and thus coming a a point of self-honesty where there is no reaction, no judgement, nothing, except what is here in the moment to direct and move as each other as myself. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the implication of what it MEANs to be NICE and what they accepts and allows within humanity as a falsehood instead of a brotherhood. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see,realize and understand that teaching to be NICE just for the system sake, makes Children/people/adults gullible and easy to manipulate/deceive and to be abused, as a person, as I have, will only be nice no matter what, till it is too late and you are trapped in someone else mindfuck. such as child predators, scams, religions, school, politics, economics, name it all, the entire system around us as within us. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be NICE to my mind, yet all that exist on earth is cruelty. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LIVE a pretend life of niceness and yet that niceness has shown NO results in the world becoming NICE and actually change to what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck with myself, my progress, my development within my process being being NICE and compromising myself in my NICE actions that aren't best for all, within self honesty. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself throughout my life by being nice, which created and creates consequences for all that isn't TRUE as they are based on being NICE within the system and so keep the system going that isn't nice at all. 

I forgive myself that I have not seen and realize TRUE niceness is for me to wlak my process for me within my TOOLS, to utilize the tools I have to then LIVE the change, live what I see as best for all life in all ways to bring about a TRUE world that is NICE to all life, where my actions reflect ACTUAL true niceness from within and so without, to end all abuse in all ways. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear challenging myself to DROP being nice, and to in fact bring forth my expression that was suppressed through my acceptances and allowances as a child that was simply here, to bring myself back HERE in simplicity, to then walk and talk within and from principle as what is best for all life, and not as FEAR as the system to pretend and be false, mostly starting with myself through first applying my self forgiveness on my points to purify me to then live the self-realizations daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge NICEness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to BLAME niceness as me. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that it is all about the starting point within WHO I am, and to live niceness, I must first actually be NICE as LIFE as all life, in my thoughts, words and actions to always honour LIFE and to never LIE to hide what is here as LIFE and that needs to change, and so from my starting point, I can be NICE, yet it has a purpose, a direction within who I am and what I stand by as LIFE as my principles in LIVING and words.

Day 479 - What to write about.

In this moment I am within a certain point that I am walking, I walk points all the time, till they are done or time loop, preferably till they are done. But I have found that I mostly walk the same point over and over, I may push through a point, but then the next layer comes along, I am dealing with eighteen years of layers, forgiving myself and moving forward living what’s best for all life.

So when I take a point on I take it on, I walk the point till I have pushed through, I never give up on myself no matter how difficult it gets, because I know in the end who I am, it’s the preprogramming that isn’t me that I have accepted and allowed myself to be me, so I have to take self-responsibility for my own creation.

Now I want to write about the points I am walking, sharing it, yet I have already written about it many times before, and this is where I go into self-judgment about me writing it again, maybe I will just repeat the exact same, but what I am taking for granted is, this time around it is different, It is the same point but a different layer.

And even if it wasn’t a different layer, I must not judge myself, I must do it for myself and write it out, even if I write about the exact same point a million times, I know that once I am done I will definitely understand the creation and ending of such points lol.

For instance, this in itself is a point; did I see that till I wrote about it? No, thus write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for writing about the same points over and over.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold it against myself when I see it is the same point again and to not write about it, thus keeping it the same point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dis-empower myself within not writing about a point because I believe I have already written about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my writing and creativity and to rather go into the creepy mind and stay there as my limitations.

Day 420 - I am Belief Part 8

Day 419 – I am Belief. 

When and as I see that I am accessing a belief system within myself that I have about myself or towards myself – I stop – I breathe and I slow down, I check myself and why I am within the certain belief system of myself and why I am living as this belief/limitation and to correct myself within the realization that NO belief is ever real or valid, as I see and realize that any and all Beliefs are Lies made up in the mind.

When and as I see myself Living a Belief that I have created about myself or the world/others – I stop - I breathe, I check myself if I am here living in and as the physical as that which is real and measurable or if I am in the mind as Thoughts/feelings/emotions/back-chat that is not serving me or life to be the potential I can be as Life one and equal – as I see and realize that the Beliefs I have of myself the world/others is but only Knowledge and Information that I have made up or gotten and have accepted and allowed Knowledge and information to be real – Instead I see and realize that it is within each breathe as the Physical that I will see what’s here and real and thus no knowledge and information required to add to what’s already here as the Physical.

When and as I see myself Finding it hard to stop a belief because I have created a Belief of what is to be expected after stopping a Belief – I stop – I breathe, I slow myself down and I focus on my breathing and what’s here in the moment as the physical, using my smell, my sight, my touch and my hearing and my Physical presence as me to get real to Be LIFE instead of a Be LIEF.

When and as I see myself living/acting in accordance towards something that I belief of myself towards something that I am accepting and allowing to move me as a response to create disbelief or to create the belief as real, I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back here in each breathe each moment and focus on what I am doing and see/realize what’s real.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am creating beliefs about myself in my mind to stop and to breathe and to check why am I creating a belief about myself as a Image or Likeness within my mind – to sit down to write it out and to expose the belief system of limitation and to not accept and allow myself to be anything less or more then what’s here as the Physical within self-perfection.

To Be Continued.

Day 419 – I am Belief. Part 7

Day 418 - Word Belief lived/created Part 6

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Create more beliefs everyday about myself and the world through back-chat and secret mind BS within and as the Idea that I can use beliefs to undo old beliefs, seeing and realizing that it does not matter what Belief I create if it is positive or negative the system remains the same, a beliefs as an energetic experience motivation to move or not move that feeds off the body off the flesh of Life to sustain its short period of existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs in the attempt to create or make something more then what is here within each breathe/moment just to feel something called an emotion/feeling to feel my life has a meaning, something more than what is here within simplicity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of everything Physical that is here just so that I can belief I am smart because of the Beliefs I can make up/create out of what’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of everything from why the earth is round to why I am not gaining weight or to why I love or hate certain things or why a dog is a dog and a mouse a mouse just to feel that I have some sort of intellectual power over what’s here as I am creating all these beliefs about everything here that makes sense and seem so smart and where when I sell these beliefs to others they seem to agree and they seem to acknowledge the intellect within my beliefs and thus it means my beliefs must be so true and so real and so Solid as facts.

Seeing and realizing that all I am doing is building a prison around myself a=of beliefs or knowledge and information that I must not remember all the time taking all my time just to keep this system alive within myself of not having to feel any less then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have created a world of beliefs in my mind within myself as a prison for myself and my mind to always be limited within these beliefs just so that the mind can keep on feeding off the energy the beliefs are creating within my prison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of everything that is here in fear of what is here as the truth as the facts of reality and to instead create a belief to justify to reason to excuse me from reality and to not to have to take full self-responsibility as a co-creator.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am in a prison of my mind where I create beliefs about reality and me within reality just so that I can make myself seem more within reality and what is here and thus enslave and imprison myself within these beliefs of myself and reality to a self-create world in my mind, like copying what is in fact here into my mind into all my beliefs of myself in relation to the world/reality and to then live life from this illusion through my mind first then in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Live through my mind as my beliefs of/about reality and myself as the illusions/delusions in my mind as the definitions I have attached to all that is here and what these definitions are within my own personal relationships towards the words/reality and to then live accordingly to this self-created Belief or reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interact in a indirect way within reality within the physical through first looking at what’s here and then copy what’s here and imprint it into my mind as a picture and then to add my Beliefs to the picture and my definitions to the picture and all that’s in the picture and to then after adding all my own self-created beliefs and limitation to the picture in my mind I take that picture with all the newly added knowledge and information I am past it over reality as the physical as a mental projection and then to only move/direct myself within this delusion I have created from and as my mind.

To Be continued.

Day 418 - Word Beleif Lived/created Part 6

Continuing from Day 417 - Word Belief lived/created Part 5

NOW – I have re-enforced this belief with self-created Physical evidence, this mean it will be WAY harder for me to gain weight with my next attempt, I just now proofed to myself and everyone in my environment that I can’t gain weight no matter what I eat or drink.

So now I can even go deeper – where did I create the Belief that I need to gain weight, why has this become a problem for me, why do I have this urgent need to want to gain weight – where does this belief come from that I must gain weight before a certain age and time in my life – weight being muscles, looking physically healthy and not skinny and weak/sick.

I was fine with my Physical body/weight up until I went to my second primary school in grade two – when there was more Boys and more other children and people – I noticed that I was physically smaller than the other boys, and this meant they had an advantage over me physically, which made me feel insecure and vulnerable.

Which was the case, the smaller I was in comparison to the other boys the more I would be pushed around and get bullied and all those kind of stuff, I am an easier target.

Yet here I was young, I saw within the years to come that all the other boys was growing bigger and getting more muscles and stronger, when I was basically still skinny and smaller and could not play for instance Rugby, as they would just crush me with their bodies. But I was amazing in athletics.

So I had the Belief that my time will come, I will catch up with the other boys, just wait, you know how we change with time and age, my Mother especially always said, just give it time, your body will develop in your teenage years. When my teenage years came and I was in high school with even more people around from all over the town in one place, with guys that look like muscle builders and that is strong and tall and that have everything we call a real man, I still remained this fucking skinny guy.

While my best friend was shorter than me by at least four inches, he at least weighed sixty six Kilograms at the age of sixteen. And he looked skinny to me – I who was taller and who was also sixteen only weighed fifty five kilograms. WTF. When is this fucking change coming my mother talked about? Why am I not growing up, why am I not maturing, why am I not becoming a man.

So within ALL this time that has passed, I had to create a reason a excuse for other people in my environment why I am not becoming a man, why I am not changing and maturing and getting bigger and gaining weight/muscles – so I turned to Knowledge and information to give me explanation within this time, I used excuses like it’s in my DNA, its my GENETICS, it is my physical design, yes sure it is, but I made a Belief out of it, I used this Belief and I sold it to everyone, so that I could feel better about myself, I used this Belief that it’s my physical design, look I am skinny but check how strong I am, I was strong and I won’t deny it.

So now I made up within all this time a belief about myself – I belief it’s my DNA and my genetics and it runs in the family and within this its unchangeable, it is set in stone, I am sorry ladies but this is my design and I am stuck within it., the design is slim but with strong toned muscles inside, because I was able to do everything everyone else did only weighing fifty six kilograms at the age of eighteen. Se how I re-enforced the belief by making it into something special, I made my limitation special, I accepted it as fact and I made it special to feel special so that I don’t have to feel inferior or left out or less than.

To be continued on Self forgiveness.

Day 417 – Word Belief lived/created Part 5

Day 413 - Belief Part 1
Day 414 - Belief Part 2
Day 415 - Belief Part 3
Day 416 – Belief Part4

How does Belief have an actual effect on the Physical – Since belief is something that exists just in our minds how can Belief have an actual physical effect on Us and the world.

It is simple – when I belief something within me I am giving the belief permission to direct me and my actions and thus what I physically do and say - then as I am doing this and Billions of others - we all create physical consequences that are created from beliefs/mind through the actions and words we live.

Then how is belief created – where does the Idea come from that to believe something is enough, to have a belief is good, to live by beliefs is cool. How did I create Beliefs within myself/about myself and how did I actually manifest the belief to make it a fact, where I can say SEE here is the evidence the facts of my belief is real. It is true, look as I said what I believed before about myself or something or anything.

I have a cool point of how I have created a Belief in my life, in my world and with my body that I am still working on. I have been working on this Belief about myself for at least eleven years.

This belief is the Belief that I cannot gain weight, I cannot change my physical weight at all, no matter how much I eat or drink no matter what weight/muscle mass gaining proteins I take, I can’t gain weight. I have twelve years behind me where I have been DOING it, eating and drinking shakes and all that crap to gain weight/mass.

I CAN gain weight, it isn’t magical or impossible, it isn’t a set fact that I can’t gain weight/mass – I have over many many years created and engrained within myself the Belief that I cannot gain weight, and while I do whatever I can I don’t gain weight. Because while I drink that protein shake or eat three steaks and a big plate of food eight times a day, I go inside myself, this isn’t going to work, my body will just burn this away, I can’t gain weight from this, I probably will never gain weight with this, this is just my physical design, I am limited within my physical design, My mother and my cousins and all my friends keep on saying I am skinny – even though I eat more than them and eat “healthier than them, they keep saying I am skinny.

There is a quick example of what supports the Belief – so how does it make a difference within me gaining weight or not – if I am going to eat a lot of food for the next three months to see if the Diet works so I can gain weight and I go full on into this diet with the predetermined expectation that it will not work, then it will not work. Because I am giving my body the input/belief that it will not work, basically saying DON’T work. So now as I eat this new diet and I do it for three months and I check on the scale and I was consistent and I did everything I can to support the diet. I see I did not gain any weight, whala – my belief that I have about myself not being able to gain weight is real.

Day 417 - Belief and self Part 5

Day 413 - Belief and self Part1
Day 414 - Belief and self Part2
Day 415 - Belief and self Part3
Day 416 - Belief and self Part 4

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of myself and who I am or must be and thus what I am supposed to live and live up to, seeing and realizing that this is all past experiences that I have now created into future projections that now has become me walking my past as my future and thus only walking in circles and never reaching these beliefs I have created of myself for myself in my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and take what I or others belief of me as true, seeing and realizing that for it to be true I must accept and allow it to be so, and thus a belief has not power, no actual real effect on me unless I accept and allow it as who I am and thus live the belief out as real. Using what is real as the physical here in each breathe to create what are illusions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have a belief of myself such as I must be stupid, that it isn’t so as it’s only a belief and that it is me keeping the belief alive that prevents me from seeing what’s here and dealing with what’s here as solutions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that I am stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief of I am stupid to exist within and as me and to let this belief govern and determine what I can or cannot do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be governed by what I belief of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be governed by the belief I have about myself as being stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create self-definitions as belief systems of myself from past events/experiences where I have judged myself as stupid instead of breathing and correcting myself and to Not label myself as stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry my past with me all the time within the beliefs that I have created and uphold about myself as being stupid. 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I can in fact change what I belief of myself, to go from belief to actual living application, seeing and realizing that this requires me to correct myself in and as the physical to Stop the belief and to live the corrections that is required to correct the physical consequences I have created for myself through time to be stupid all because I accepted and allowed a belief of myself to exist within me of being stupid.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have a belief of myself as being weak, that it is the belief that will keep me in that state of mind and thus direct my physical actions or emotional body to meet the expectations of the belief, instead of stopping the belief and see what’s here in each breathe and dealing/working with what’s here as the problem and the solution within actual real time feedback and to within this NOT define me according to the feedback or the results mis-takes, but to instead work towards self-perfection, where I stand within me here in and as the physical and perfecting myself as what’s here and to correct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea about what is weak and what is strong and to within this choose a side according to the Idea/belief I have created through physical events/experiences where I then place myself in a category of weak or strong and to then create a belief of myself that I must life this belief as myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that within a physical reality where we all have different bodies and different strengths and weaknesses physically, that I cannot create an Idea/belief of what’s weak and what’s strong but instead I can see with My body with my capabilities where I have weaknesses and strengths and to focus on self-perfection within what is here as me as my physical and to push myself to better myself and to be the most I can be, and that the equality within all life that is here isn’t to be equally strong or weak or capable but to that we are equal within the substance of life and being here sharing this life and thus I must realign myself within my physical body within doing what’s best for all life such as self-perfecting myself Not based on beliefs but on actual real physical feedback. 

To be continued.

Day 416 - Belief and self belief Part 4

Day 415 - belief Part3
Day 414 - Belief part 2
Day 413 - Belief part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief what is in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief the ideas I have about myself in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief the Ideas I have about other people within my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief the opinions I have about myself in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief the Opinions I have in my head about other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that beliefs I have about myself in my head.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to belief that Believes I have about other people in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself beliefs I have about myself to control who I am and what I do and cannot do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the beliefs I have in my head about myself to be valid and real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind the beliefs I have about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the beliefs I have in my head as a way to deliberately limit myself within the physical as a way to manipulate myself and others to have some form of made belief control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live by and as the beliefs I have formed and created within my mind about myself as through time as my past as if it is something that I must uphold and always make real about myself as a self-definition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to beliefs I have formed and created about myself in my head through past events/experiences, within the belief that because it happened to me or that I had to face such points of life it must mean that it must be who I am, seeing and realizing that it is only who I am because I make it so through making it a belief of this is how it works, seeing and realizing that it’s not how it works as it is a decision I make as statements to myself in my head as beliefs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must live up to Beliefs others may have of me, seeing and realizing that the beliefs I think other may have about me is simply the beliefs I have of myself as these maybes is happening only in my head as my own self judgments.

Day 415 – Belief Part 3

Day 413 - belief Part 1

Day 414 – Belief Part2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more value to Belief then fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to belief and to within that give away the value of truth/facts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away the value of facts/truth as the physical reality as that which is here in all ways within participating within belief as the mind as Ideas/opinions made up stuff from the mind which is claimed to not requiring facts/truth but only acceptance with conviction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make thing within reality a matter of belief instead of facts and truth, truth being the facts presented in a mathematical way of explanation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that believing in stuff is enough to make it SO.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use Belief as a way to escape the facts/truth as the mathematical equations that is measurable within the physical reality, seeing and realizing that when I instead face the truth and facts and give up belief that I will find that I am responsible for what is here as a co-creator of and as life and that Hiding isn’t and has never been an option, which belief is a design for deception/hiding/lying/makingup.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that Beliefs cannot have an effect on me as my body as the physical and thus within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem Belief as innocent and thus okay to have and to belief instead of facing the physical reality as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Ignore the physical consequences that exist within this world due to belief systems existent within each being and within this world as religions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief in beliefs just because it is convenient.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that beliefs are for convenience and not what is practical and best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that any and all Belief can only start within the mind within an alternate reality and thus the starting point as where belief comes from is mind and thus not matter, not fact and can only remain and exist within the mind and thus we use beliefs to alter reality within how we participate within this world from and as belief, and we have actual physical consequential effects on our bodies as the signals we send from our brains to the rest of our bodies as our beliefs, sabotaging and limiting ourselves within and as the mind as belief.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a positive/uplifting experience within the word Belief, and thus I have created a relationship within myself towards the word belief where I enjoy using beliefs and playing them out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship towards the word belief as a compromising relationship as abdicating self-responsibility and responsibility within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a Positive HIGH energetic experience possession within myself through the word Belief and using the word belief and living the word belief, seeing and realizing when and as I live the word belief in such a state of the word and what I have created it as within my relationship towards the word belief that in such moments I completely escape reality within going into my mind completely and just letting energy guide me even if it was off a cliff or doing something stupid, such as creating wars or accepting and allowing things such as poverty/famine rape and murder to exist because I belief something in relation towards it as the word belief within me.

To be continued.