Day 4 - Self -judgements and consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of how truly fucked we are as a specie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of the fact that unless each and every human beings understands the mind and how it functions in detail and how the human is a personality as the ego designed to be organic robots/slaves, will we not be able to change ourselves first and foremost and thus not this world, and thus through losing sight I let loose a little bit and eventually take it way too easy with pushing and thus fall into hope.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of the extent of the problem that is here, and more so to lose sight of the educational process that is required to actually have a revolution to real evolution as the human species and thus to have a global change as the human changes,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back MY process and sharing my process continuously OPENLY as part of the educational process that is here through blogs, vlogs and general sharing, as I JUDGE my own process as not good enough, as not relevant, as not having any effect, yet within that I am in fact living those judgements and thus making believes real and so cripple my own self change and everyone else in this wold that could have benefited but now aren't due to me not sharing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead share BULLSHIT of other people sharing apparent relevant shit yet does not even touch the point of self-honesty of even a glimpse of what the mind truly is, and so withhold myself and my own process that actually covers all the dimensions that is required within the education revolution that is required for a truly evolved human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that laziness as NOT feeling like doing something, such as writing, sharing and actually caring is a mind consciousness system design that has POWER over me as energy of the mind generated through constant thoughts that I have of myself judging myself negatively to such an extent that this energy forms layers within me undirected, not forgiven and thus it starts flooding the PHYSICAL as the flesh and stores itself within the body, and so the body starts experiencing itself as heavy and thus lazy, and so over time I am not to be found anywhere and can barely find the will power within me to even move myself as the energy as the mind consciousness system has not completely vegetated me as the body to have the body ONLY for itself to entertain itself and to keep generating energy and feed of the physical/flesh till death.

I commit myself to when and as I FEEL lazy, to REMEMBER that it isn't whatever excuse I am making up in my mind, as that is the minds defence mechanism to control ME as self-movement and to free myself, and thus I can take full self-responsibility within understanding that I created the laziness through accepting and allowing the mind games/energies as the thoughts I participated within over and over to take hold of me as the body/physical and to place me in a prison of consequence that I must then physically MOVE myself and to actually physically correct myself no matter how lazy I feel or what the thoughts are of why I should not, as this is self-movement and me taking a Stand and saying no more, and to write, share and actually change.

My Desteni Process – Thoughts aren’t natural

Thoughts aren’t natural, this can be something difficult to grasp, but it isn’t really that farfetched when we take a closer look at what thoughts are and what their actual impact are on the physical.

Like when we burn coal to generate energy, thoughts are similar, when we think or go into thought, we are in fact taking something real of the physical and we are burning it, using the resources to generate energy to run certain systems, may it be a T.V or a radio, or a fridge, some are practical, but for most of the things it is for pure entertainment or indulgence. The earth is suffering for this, for example, the same is happening within us, with thoughts and thinking. We are burning energy to entertain a world/reality in our mind that literally does not exist, these thoughts have further outflows of energy use, we then (after the thoughts/thinking) usually experience feelings and emotions, have a certain experience within us, which then requires even more resources to burn to generate the energy and thus to keep the emotions and feeling stimulated, thus we will have a never ending cycle of thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions, all generating energy through burning resources. The resources the thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions are burning are our flesh. 

Now, we have a lot of indicators that show us how unnatural thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions are, such as headaches, sometimes very specific headaches to show us what thinking we are participating within if we understand the points the body is indicating to us. Then we have even more indicators, such as our illnesses, diseases, and mental addictions. We have even more evidence on a global scale, which is the global state, the state in which the world is. The state in which the world is a direct result of thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions, and it is pretty fucked up. I mean, wow, we have been and only been using thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions throughout history to direct us to give us guidance, to give us purpose, and here we are, just take a look what exist for BILLIONS of beings, I mean the human LIVING, and how we live on this planet goes against ANYTHING natural on/of this planet. Do you still think thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions are natural? Then ask yourself this, why aren’t you living with nature, in nature, why do you not know anything about nature? Why is the nature of the human destroying nature? What is the thing we have apparently that makes us better? A mind which thinks and has thoughts and that generates feelings and emotions – I mean if we were really intelligent then we should have noticed this a long time ago, the mind as thinking as thoughts feelings and emotions aren’t natural as it literally directs us to do everything that is unnatural and destroys the natural world.

Now, I have had a personal experience a couple of years ago as I was walking my daily self-forgiveness where I one day did so much self-forgiveness on the re-occurring patterns I was living as depression, being gloomy and doomy and always carrying burdens with me, I did some intense self-forgiveness on the specific points, the beliefs and ideas and opinions I had within myself. On that particular day I decided enough, this has to stop and I meant it within myself that it is time for a change. The following day I woke up with a BASHING headache, it was intense, this headache was in the front of my head, it was pounding and heavy, every time I would move my head it felt like my brain was hitting my skull on the inside, I tried to think about a headache and what it could be, but as soon as I started thinking, my head hurt even more, so all I could do was sit down and breathe.

I sat down and breathed for a couple of minutes while focussing inside myself and NOT thinking, then a thought popped up in my head about what I need to still do today, this thought immediately activated another headache, which was located in my temples area on my head, as this thought was presenting a belief I had about what I still had to do today and how I am going to experience myself all day, so now my head was in serious trouble. I at and breathed a lot more, for about another ten minutes, my headaches started going away, it calmed down as I was calm and breathing within me, there were no thoughts, no feelings or emotions within me after about 15min, and the headaches were almost gone, I could easily stand up and continue with my day, but 15 seconds later I had a thought and BAM!!! A headache was back, but this time it was located at the back of my head, it felt like a pounding headache, and my temples were also heavy, this was really fascinating shit, and this continued for TWO WEEKS – I could not participate in thoughts, thinking or feelings or emotions. 

As soon as I did I had immediate headaches and pain, each time in specific areas of my head depending on what thought, what thinking I was activating and going into, and the only way to stop a headache was to stop the thoughts/thinking and thus the feelings and emotions.  

These two weeks were the best days of my process and walking myself into correction as I was unable to go into thoughts/thinking I had NO choice but to simply live direct, to act and to D, to not think or ponder or to go into thoughts, I had to live HERE in the physical, I broke and changed every single habit and pattern I was in as if it was nothing due to not having a choice because I could NOT think or go into thoughts and thus NOT go into any experiences, and thus no experience could decide for me what I must or must not do, I could be here and act, and in fact each time I acted the headaches got lighter and went away, it was like I had a compass of correction within me to be physical. After two weeks I got out of the patterns and habits that kept me in this dark place for a couple of months and I was amazed how thinking/thoughts could cause so much pain on the physical – I had the opportunity for two weeks to experience the pain thoughts/thinking causes the body and I now know that even when I am not aware, each and every thought/thinking feeling and emotion impacts the body and has great consequences on the physical body and my LIFE and thus everyone else’s LIFE.

I mean, imagine how and what we are doing to the earth, do we think we are NOT harming the earth or causing pain to create and generate energy? How to use that energy and for what? It all matters and as we know, as within so without. Thus we can see outside of ourselves as a mirror reflection what exist within us and it isn’t pretty at all…

Investigate Desteni, start your writing process of self-forgiveness, stop your thoughts feelings and emotions and start LIVING.

Day 490 - Personality as a point of view

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have through my acceptance and allowances of thought made myself less than my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the moment I accept or allow a thought to create any form of fear/anxiety/stress or any other movement within me, that I have made myself less than a thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself less than a thought through accepting and allowing thoughts to “mean” something within myself as the relationship that I have created within me towards/with thoughts.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the moment a thought direct me as the physical being, that I have submitted to thoughts as having power over me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that thought/thoughts are but a point of view/opinion that is “separate from reality and not in fact reality as it is taking place inside MY mind and not real in reality, and thus it isn’t real.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that each and every thought I have is MY point of View and not reality in fact, as each and every thought that I have as my point of view exists as me as my acceptance and allowance to sustain a personality, so that I can say I exist as an individual who has MY own point of view of reality, coming from a point of fear of losing my “mental self” as the personality that I have as the thoughts I have as my points of view/opinions that I have – that is deliberately created within conflict to be able to sustain friction that creates Mental energy so that I can keep creating this mental friction just to sustain a limited existence as a mental individual as thoughts – my point of view on reality. Seeing and realizing that there HERE is only one reality and that MY point of view on reality will always differ from ALL other humans as long as I hold on to personality as the mental self, the projected self, not the living self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take “thought” and having thoughts as something to be taken lightly, not seeing and realizing that each and every thought I accept and allow as my point of view on reality, as my mental projection that keeps my mental self as my personality alive, that I am in fact creating a personality of disharmony, of friction, that can never move to a point of living what is best for all LIFE as me, living as what is here in each and every breath as the real physical reality we all share equally, that does not require opinion, of points of views or ideas or personalities to be what it is, what is here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my point of view on reality is relevant, that my point of view of what I interpret of reality is important and bring big insights and realization, though having these points of views in my mind as thought, as idea, as opinion that is and will be by its design always be in conflict with all other mental selves as all mental selves require for their own existence to have different points of views on reality to have friction to keep creating mental energy that then can be used by each being to make the statement, I am individual, I am unique, this is my personality, because Look at my point of view on reality with all my believes/Ideas and opinions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that thought is the Veil in front of my physical eyes, that does not allow me to see common sense that is HERE existent as the physical, but rather to only see points of views as my opinions, beliefs, ideas and thus as my “personality”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that common sense only exist within the physical, and not within the mind, as the mind is a mental self, not a physical self, and a mental self can only interpret and project, create illusions and delusions, not see reality and what is here, and thus as long as there is one thought in my mind I am living behind a veil and I will fail as the mind will prevail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to train my body to submit to thoughts and the energy that thought as the mind as the mental self uses to numb or to paralyze the body to do as the mind wants for its own limited survival and to train my body to simply give in and trust the mind/thoughts as the minds point of view on reality.