Day 426 – Be silent this conversation isn’t for you.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “just” be silent when and as people are speaking in a conversation with the Belief dwelling within me that I can’t take part and that what I have to say isn’t of importance and I will just not be able to have an Intellectual participation with them.

When and as I see myself seeing a point that others might need to look at or see within a conversation happening and I decide within myself to NOT speak and just be silent from the belief that I will just sound stupid and not meet their intellectual standard of communication – I stop, I breathe and I check myself what I want to say and I give to myself in the moment the chance to speak and to voice the common sense or perspective within me from and as the starting point of clarity within me first.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distance myself from conversations through being “just” silent as a a way so that when the conversation goes Bad or does not meet end’s I can have the Justification for myself at least I was silent and did not say anything as to wash my hands off from the outcome either way.

When and as I see I am in the pattern of just sitting in a conversation and leaving the conversation up to the other people to have and to communicate and thus indirectly making it ONLY the other peoples responsibility of what’s being discussed and thus the outcomes, I stop, I breathe and I realize that either way I am responsible in all conversations I am in if I am speaking or not as I am a witness and thus a direct/indirect participant and that being silent when I know I have something to say within clarity and common sense and yet keep quiet I am in fact responsible for that outcome as I had the key to a different one yet kept quit due to some mental self-belief and Idea I have about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in a Lesser position in relation to other when there is a conversation happening or a meeting as a deliberate way just not to feel responsible and thus taking responsibility and to take on the character of being silent and just Judging and pointing fingers in my own mind at those who are actually participating and taking a stand.

When and as I see myself just sitting and being silent and judging and pointing fingers at those who are within the conversation taking a stand as a position to be a speaker/representative for a moment as a perspective – I stop, I breathe and I’d look at what it is I am judging and pointing fingers at within those doing the speaking as those will/are the points that I am holding within me as the fears/reasons for why I have taken on the position of inferiority and thus the silent character to not speak and strand equally and being a participant of the direct outcome of the words/actions where its directed to what’s best for all in common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that before I can speak/talk about anything that I require to have a point of authority as knowledge and information within me to be able to speak, I stop and I realize that within such an approach I will wait forever and it will take forever to obtain such a point of knowledge and information to be able to partake, and thus it’s a mental Block that isolates me in a prison of fear/anxiety of being lesser than or inferior , and thus I can rely on myself and what’s here as the common sense as the ability to learn naturally in the moment within actually taking part and not just accept the outsider waiting to someday becoming superior to only then built the courage to learn.

When and as I see myself stuck within the belief of myself of that I do not have the current knowledge and information to take part in this conversation that might even determine the future of my life or the life on earth and thus I can’t say anything and must just be SILENT like a kid not allowed to talk with adults and adult things even though they talk about everything that includes you, I stop, I breathe – I push myself to speak and to be like WATER to be flexible to learn in the moment and to use and utilize what I learn within common sense and what’s best for all life as the common grounds that we are all living on, and to not be limited by the moment and to go beyond my own self-belief and to push myself beyond any belief and remain here in breathe.