Continuing from Day 117 that is a follow up from Day 116 and Day 115 where I take Quotes from the Day 115 Blog and apply Self Forgiveness on each point.Quote 3: “I have made the skinny “problem” a big problem, I actually made it my mission to gain weight and to do this before I reach the middle ages because I do not want to look like a skinny boy all my life, never getting that “full body” look – interesting how I first talk about the physical problem but then it ends up being all about “looks” again”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get possessed by the Idea/self-belief/opinions/self-judgments of the mind as energy and to within this possession live it out as my “LIFE” mission to gain weight at all costs, even if it means abusing my body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body physically as who I am as the flesh in the pursuit of happiness that I am following according to pictures in my mind that isn’t even based on the actual physical reality of all things here as life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear remaining skinny even when I am in my middle ages. and within and as this “thought”- seeing myself being old and skinny And that I have wasted my Life away within the pursuit of gaining weight and living in regret and never lived life, to rush myself in great fear/anxiety/stress to gain weight before then, not realizing and seeing that I have already wasted six years of my Life only trying to gain weight and muscles and a different body look/appearance according to pictures in my mind and that in this rush I lose track of time as I exist in the mind as energy, and to realize that before I know it I will be in my middle ages still skinny still chasing, and within this actually manifesting my fear through my actions.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that being skinny (not anorexic) isn’t wrong and inst unhealthy, it is but how my body is designed through DNA I inherited from my parents and that I have no real choice to change it, yet I do have the point of making a decision within myself to stop the chase and to stop the mission and to except myself as I am here in and as the physical after I have tried everything I can to change it practically and to live my life here in and as the physical one and equal and to use my body with what I have to do what is best for all life in all ways in all possible practical ways.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be patient with myself and to want to rush myself and how I grow and how my body is designed and to within this rushing I am compromising and actually changing the direction my body is growing according to the signals I give my body.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I tell myself every day I am skinny and that if I do this for years and already have, that I am giving my body the signals that I am skinny and thus I will remain skinny no matter how much I work out or eat as that which I am telling myself is what I create myself as.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that participating in the mind as that which gives electrical signals to my body and organs that I am daily through my own self judgements/beliefs/ideas/opinions constantly giving the signal of I am skinny and thus it will counter act what I do as eating a lot or working out because The mind will simply tell my metabolism I am skinny and thus it must burn all fat that comes in to keep me skinny. Also realizing that going into the polarity point of now wanting to tell myself I am fat everyday will not work as the fear that motivates it is still based on fear of being skinny and thus the message remains the same to the body, realizing it is to stop all self judgments/beliefs/ideas/opinions and fear and to stop the participation in the mind as this will stop all conscious/sub-conscious/un-conscious signals the body is receiving and the body will not be under constant attack as the electrical signals the mind is sending out and the body as me as who I am can grow or not within and as the physical as the physical expression here as Life one and equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make everything about me about how I LOOK – realizing that this is completely fucking around with the body as the physical as the body isn’t designed to look good or bad, as the body is designed to function in oneness and equality within and as the physical here as LIFE. And so realizing that as long as I give the body electrical Bombing sessions of how the body must look through forcing and reflecting pictures in my mind onto all my cells the whole time, the cells that has a specific function within the body will not be confused As the cells are receiving messages from the mind that does not comply with what its practical function is and thus the cells will be compromised and eventually cause harm to the body such as cancer – realizing that if I continue to tell my body anything else other than what they do that they are open for malfunctioning and bearing consequences.It is like telling a banana through electrical impulses to become a apple because it looks better, what will happen? It will obviously have physical dysfunctions and who knows what else might come out of it.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that all that I require to give my body is BREATH as that is all they require from my head to function, and that anything else such as the mind with multibillions of dimensions sending millions of more signals to the body will compromise the body and how the body functions and LIMIT the body completely within its true actual physical expression as LIFE.
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