Day 600 – I am Capable of anything, am I? Day 3 of 21

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my imagination of what I am capable of when and as I hear the words, or read the words – you are capable of anything, where I go into an alternate reality and totally disregard the reality that is here and who I am within and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am capable of anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe that I am capable of anything to distract me from reality and what is here as who I am and the actual physical limitations, challenges that I deal with daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disbelieve that I am capable of anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the disbelieve more than the belief, as the disbelief enforces my limitations, yet the belief takes me beyond my limitations and into imagination, and thus I see it isn’t a matter of believing but to live the words and to check it for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in a struggle between what my mind shows me I am capable of and what I am actually capable of within the physical reality, where what my mind is showing me looks so easy and real and accomplish able, yet when I move and direct the physical reality there are so much more that I haven’t considered or looked at.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be effected by the words – you are capable of anything – and to within this effect take myself to a positive polarity within me where I end up only hitting negatives in friction with this polarity and so give up on myself. Instead of being real with myself, seeing how can I in fact live the words – I am capable of anything, and to first and foremost realize that I am capable of anything and everything and this includes first developing, teaching and practicing and training and integrating what is necessary for me to be capable of anything and everything which includes anything and everything I must walk and face to stand as those living words.

Thus I see and realize that I missed the words completely in practicality, as I was hearing them within energy as imagination, and so when I look and see the word as living word, I can see that – I am capable of anything – implies everything that is required and inclusive of the process to be walked to actually live and stand as the words – I am capable of anything, and to not give up following an imagination as a vision of what the words imply and means as an end result, completely missing the journey that is inclusive of ANYTHING, and only through walking the journey to I become capable in fact.

Day 561 – Believe in yourself, You are LIFE

Take a look at yourself, you are a tiny mind existing in a universe, you are a tiny mind only because you decide to exist within and as this mind, this mind consciousness system that functions on energy, this mind consciousness system that fucks you over every day in every moment, it cons you into limitation, it cons you into submission, it cons you into fear, it cons you into everything except for you to realize that you are LIFE.

Remove this tiny mind, this consciousness, and you are in fact LIFE, I myself have not lived this into actual fact, I have only realized this. Take a look at LIFE, all that is HERE one and equal, just look with your limited eyes, hear with your limited ears, feel with your limited touch, and already just with that you can see how great LIFE is, Life is here, always, we just refuse to stand with life absolutely, we refuse to trust that WE as life wants what is best for all life, like a mother that wants only the best for her child, we must also realize that LIFE is that which is not of the mind consciousness – anything that isn’t rooted within the seed of LIFE as what is best for all life, is of the mind and thus we must not confuse trusting life with what we see around us as being a creation of LIFE, what is around us as our creation is us forgetting that we are life and attempting to live in separation of life, which is failing drastically as our mind consciousness established world is showing us, it is crumbling down and the suffering and discord is beyond measures. Because it is not of LIFE.

We rather stand by the mind, we rather trust the mind, and we would rather look at the mind for security and for survival, not realizing that if we stand as LIFE, then the universe will in fact stand for us, with us, would you rather have the support of a thought? Or would you rather have the support of LIFE as the entire universe moving with and as you one and equal to bring about your purpose that is one and equal as life, to bring about life that is best for all life in all ways, and of course LIFE will stand with you. It is a matter of placing your trust in yourself as LIFE that is always HERE accessible in a single breath in each and every breath. But we lose each and every breath; we can’t even stand in a single breath as LIFE in full trust of life. Because we just do not believe in ourselves.

So I must forgive myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT believe in myself as LIFE, thus not believing in LIFE itself and that life in itself wants what is best for all life, and to within this trust and believe the mind as consciousness, where I rather attempt to control reality according to momentary thoughts to direct me and to lead me and to decide for me what I must do.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that LIFE is for LIFE and thus my misplacement of trust within and as the mind is that of not understanding that LIFE is here one and equal standing for and as life in all ways and if I only place my trust with life as me then I can truly stand with the support of ALL life to bring about a world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse the creations of the mind with LIFE and to within this confused create the believe that LIFE is against me, seeing and realizing that it is and was and has always only been the mind that is against me, the very thing I placed trust within, and to never even consider that fact that LIFE is HERE awaiting me to return to myself as LIFE and to trust myself as LIFE and to instead stand with LIFE and thus have the full support of LIFE or the universe to move with me to bring change to this world as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never consider that LIFE can stand with me, but only is I stand with LIFE and give LIFE a chance and to within that Believe in myself, and to stop the believe I have given to the mind, to the world and the systems that are here as the CON of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I can only stand with LIFE absolutely if I stand within myself as ALL life in fact as what is best for all life, and all life as me will only move and support and assist me is I in fact stand in oneness and equality as all life and to not confuse this with The law of attraction, as it isn’t a law of attraction hut merely a law of LIFE, a law that is best for all life and not for individual fain and self-interest such as the mind consciousness systems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am alone in this world, that I have no support and that I have nothing that stands with me, and to within this fall for the mind and placing trust in the mind, totally disregarding myself as ALL life that is here as the universe as who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that LIFE is here, and as long as I am not here I cannot stand with LIFE, but that I am only standing with and as the mind as consciousness that is a human creation of limitation, in the act of spiting life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never even consider Believing in myself instead of the mind is me believing in life, where this believe isn’t based on energy or abdicating self-responsibility, but actually in reverse, to truly believe in myself I believe in LIFE and this is done through breathe, to live this believe that it still is into a living fact, truth of self here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give LIFE a chance, thus not giving myself a chance by placing my full trust in breath, and to within this breath walk as LIFE in all ways accumulating and creating within this world as the manifestation of the mind consciousness system LIFE as me as myself within my words and deeds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a dependency on the mind even when LIFE is showing me in each and every breath that my real actual support is of LIFE, thus in each and every moment that I am b=in breathe HERE I am actually saying fuck you to life.

Day 499 - My the force of resistance be with you

the force of resistance is always against oneself, it is always as if the wind is blowing exactly in the opposite way of where you are walking, no matter which direction you turn too to avoid the force of the wind. 

walking with resistance is like climbing a mountain barefoot, placing your feet on the sharp stone corners, as it cut your feet little by little, till eventually you just stop climbing and decide to not continue anymore.

But, if you had shoes on, if you prepared for the trip, if you took into consideration the practicality of what is required to climb the mountain, then climbing the mountain would still have been hard, it would still have made you tired, but those are the things you can handle, it actually makes it more fun, feeling your body and your breathing, pushing through your limitations and boundaries and reaching for the top, instead of recklessly stumbling into a journey.

The problem is, one do not always know what the journey might require, one can thus not possibly prepare for the journey in any aspect, more specifically an internal journey, a point you are facing, yet there is always another way, instead of continuing climbing the mountain barefoot, one can develop a new skill, the skill of being patient, to not rush, to first climb down the mountain from the first cut on your feet, and to go find your shoes, and then continue the journey, and if one finds again that shoes wasn't the only thing required to climb the mountain, but something else, such as water, one do not continue climbing in the hope that you will reach the top fast enough to not need water, you again breathe and climb down, go fetch water and then continue climbing again, otherwise the resistance is always a choice within a point of ego, wanting to be more than reality, not actually having to change but to only reach the image, idea of change, standing on the top, but no one ever reached the top this way, as the ego always goes when reality gets though.

in this case - comparing the climbing of a mountain journey to the journey of a person walking their own personal process of change, of changing self into the living expression of LIFE, as that what is best for all life, with all the tools provided, such as Breathing, self forgiveness, developing self honesty and common sense. a person will climb many mountains within themselves, and climbing the mountain will be seen as "strong" and "good" but is it done with resistance continuously, instead of each point of resistance being investigated and taken on to a point of self support, this will mean climbing down, but most judge climbing back down as falling, most will deem it "bad, and thus rather keep on walking with the resistance, till their feet are sore and they are drained from water, the substance of LIFE and actually fail, quit, stop their process, instead of climbing the mountain till there is clarity and everything is seen and thus lived of/as each and every part of how the top was reached and understanding the journey.

see this is what the person that stops at the first point of resistance do, he climbs down to prepare to fetch the shoes, to then again go up again,  and then down again and fetch the water once he sees water is needed, and the go back up, every-time a little bit higher, and this person comes to the top stronger, he comes to the top understanding every dimension of the bottom, every level of the mountain and what is required to climb it, he/she has truly learned, he/she has truly developed self trust, confidence, he has truly built humility with himself, patience, he has developed so much of himself, that he can help the next person climbing the mountain either preparing for it or even prevent each level/each point within climbing the mountain, and thus bring forth change to himself and others much quicker, even though his process took much much longer, he can not climb the mountain for anyone, as everyone must still climb the mountain themselves to reach the top the same, but the journeys will be walked slightly different.

I myself have found through my journey, than when there is a point of resistance within me, that is it something from the past, a point I did not consider even though it bothered me, like a cut in my foot from climbing the mountain, but ignored it - and that it is accumulating more and more, I can handle the pain/resistance on a daily point, but the outcome of doing it this way will and can only lead to one thing, stopping, and thus every time I have a point of resistance within me, even if there are hundreds a day, I take on point of resistance and I climb back within myself, I check what it is that I have ignored, or not taken into consideration, what is it that is causing the resistance and to correct the point, because like walking against a strong wind, you can not see in-front of you, you have to consistently block and shad your eyes from the strong wind, the resistance, and you get irritated and feel like just sitting down somewhere, hoping the wind will calm down to make your journey calmed, but the wind, the force is this time within you.

Day 472 - Anxiety before Interactions on topics

Why do I have anxiety just before I interact with another being, to be more specific, a stranger? And to be even more specific. When I am interacting with a stranger about a specific topic.

The answer is simple – now they self, and within this specific topic I can say that if one does not know oneself then there are some parts of self that one is leaving up to random events to direct, this direction will come from the input from others and what feelings/emotions/reaction the input is creating and then one will react on that – and this is the part of self that self-know about and that have an anxiety about it.

Why does this exist, yet again simple and direct, because if it is topic related and one is proclaiming a stance within the certain topic and one isn’t fully informed on the topic one is proclaiming a certain stance within, then one will always be anxious talking to others about it because it’s a defense mode, where one is already in the expectation of having to face self within a certain question that might come up and then not standing within and as the stance one is proclaiming within the certain topic.

If that isn’t simple and direct enough – here is another explanation – if you are a Christian or a Car sales man or a waiter or if you are whatever you claim and you are standing as such a point, But you have not investigated and researched and explored and red everything and anything you can about it and all that consists of it in self-honesty and common sense, then you will always be anxious before talking to a stranger on the topic at hand as you know you are standing as something but are not living it in fact as the facts.

This counts for anything in life – preaching and speaking does not mean anything, as long as there are anxiety it is revealing a pattern of self, the pattern is created specifically to avoid the areas in one’s life that one has not perfected yet, the anxiety is a mechanism that self has put into place to generate fear as to jump-start the pattern that has worked successfully as a COPING mechanism, if one is in fact living the certain topic at hand, no coping mechanism is required as it is who you are as a living example, in the facts.

So what have I come to do for myself – with everything I am currently participating within my life, where ever I see I am within anxiety – I stop myself and I realize I am not going into a pattern, I take a breather to look at the pattern and what it is – I find the point for why I created the specific pattern in the moment, I forgive myself and I correct myself, I do this till I see there is no more anxiety.

There are layers of this and one has to be patient and slowing down is a key.

So now I can take this a more recent event – I am a friend to many families, helping them within their lives with and giving families the opportunity of a life time, so I am in a family’s home, there is NO anxiety because I am one hundred percent certain of what I do as I have been doing it for a long time, not helping families, but what I am presenting to them I have used and done myself WAY before I ever entered a home, so I know I have lived it and I have seen the result and I am still living it, so I am not preaching, I am sharing I am giving them facts and result and I am enjoying it, but as I go on within helping the families, I will face one moment of anxiety, the anxiety might come just before finances are discussed.

This is already giving me an indication that I am falling into a pattern, the pattern is revealed through the anxiety being like a red light going off, showing a weakness within me.

My weakness is that ALL my life I have helped people in my life for free – with extreme points in other peoples live, never expecting anything, so I am not obviously a grown man with my own family, and now Like the system demands I have to have money, I took my passion for helping people into making it my LIFE, but now I have to ask for money in return because I need bread on the table and to take care of my family.

But my weakness if Feeling bad when I ask for money for my service and product, because in my heart I feel it must be for free, yet nothing in this world is for free, otherwise I would be a beggar with my family on the street helping no one.

Now I feel insecure about working with finances with a family within helping the family, and thus when It comes to the point of money I am anxious, as I know I am going to present the finance part as being a “dislike” and thus they will also dislike it and end up saying they LOVE it but will not take it.
Thus here I got anxious and communicated in anxiety to the people, and thus I fell into the same pattern and made the same mistake, because I am not yet LIVING the money part as me as being comfortable within me

Thus it’s a weakness of mine that I need to work on and make it strength for example. So how do I do this, as you can see the help I am presenting to the family I am way confident and comfortable with because I have in fact lived it and done it myself, before ever presenting it to anyone else, But the one part I have never done before is still the anxiety part, a weakness, I have not yet lived it and expressed it as me as fact as the other part.

And how do I get to doing it, through ding it, and making mistakes as soon as possible so that I can find my point of expression and live it, fearing making the mistakes to learn is a waste of time, because the mistake will bring forth what one needs to learn and learn it and then LIVE it. Become one with it. But the anxiety will make one run and hide from making such simple decisions of doing/living and learning and correcting and thus perfecting.

Day 389 - Just my luck, the Secret is a Scam Part 5

 The real Journey to real change

Continuing from 

Day 385 – Start at the Start Part 1
Day 386 - Where the Journey Began Part 2
Day 387 - The Journey with the Secret Part 3

 Day 388 - The secret, ask/belief/receive, I am still poor part 4

The secret was that point of hope that luck will come my way, so one day I went to the bathroom instead of a smoking break, I picked up a lotto ticket in the bathroom, it was dated for that day and it yet had to be played.

I thought this is it, this is the universe seeing my plea, I am asking and I have been believing with all my heart for months now, this must be it, tonight I will win the lotto, I ran to my friend and I told him and showed him, he got a bit jealous and I could understand.

That night came and I watched the lotto like a hawk, and I did not even have on number right, I was alone in the lounge with the TV, I sat there realizing that this was it, luck cannot come any better than this.

I decided that the secret is BULLSHIT, I can send out as much thought waves into the universe as I want, nothing will happen.

I realized at that moment that I was stuck in my life, I was facing the physical consequences of what I have created in my past like in school and my choices, and that the only way out is to physically go and change it.

But how, I did not have money to do anything like that, I did not have anything to do anything, I was going to have to be a waiter for seven years also and then maybe have some money to move on.

Then a sudden thought came to mind – Desteni, I had this OH SHIT, I forgot about Desteni, and common sense and practicality and self-forgiveness and breathing and self-honesty and that I have been hiding deep in my mind from facing what I have known is the way to go.

But there was something stopping me from standing up and taking self-responsibility as the Desteni message and walking it, walking the Journey to life with Desteni., I have been doing everything there is that was still acceptable by society, such as spiritualism/the-secret/meditation/crystals/LOA etc., but not Desteni, because the thing that stopped me was fear, because I knew what I was going to have to face once I walk the Desteni message. Myself and what I have accepted and allowed.

Coming next – The family process

Day 388 – The Secret, ask believe and receive, I am still poor Part 4

Continuing from day 385 – Start at the Start Part 1
Day 386 - Where the Journey Began Part 2
Day 387 - The Journey with the Secret Part 3

I experimented with many different things in my life to find my Journey in life, that special road just for me, that road that will make me rich and important, that journey that will teach me many lessons and where I will become wise or whatever, and I continued with this search even after I have been well aware of Desteni and the message of Desteni and the common sense that Desteni have presented.
So I knew secretly that whatever I do, it will fail, because I have already been exposed to self-honesty and common sense and I mean it is really hard to ignore reality, unless I find that perfect illusion to hide behind.

I watched Oprah one night and there she had these people on her show talking about the secret, I was confused by the entire show, I did not get it, I saw they were showing a book to buy but I hated reading, so that wasn’t a solution for me, or an option. But I was curious.

I then later on discovered a Video, we went and we rented this video to watch about the secret, I watched it with my family in the lounge, after watching the Video I was “amazed” suddenly I felt I had hope, I can still make it, there is a chance for me in this life.

Because if you read my first blog on this topic you will see why, I then understood the secret, it was placed in the most simplest way ever to do anything, Ask, Believe, Receive.

FUCK anyone will want to go for that, it is like so easy to do. At this time I was still a waiter, so every day I would go to work and I would really go into my head, into my mind and I would generate “positive” thoughts that today is the day, today I can play the lotto and win, today I can do something and it will change my life, I ask and I truly believe it, I even wrote a small motivation paper that said, stay positive, ask believe and receive, you create your world and so forth and sticked it onto the mirror in my parents bathroom.

I was really going for it. I talked to many people about it and we had discussion about it on the floor, one guy also saw the movie and he also belief it and was participating within it, so we had something in common and we would actually everyday motivate each other that today is the day one of our life's will change,. We would talk about hopes and dreams and what possibilities we have of our life’s changing right now, what the universe might be sending us today.

We even used the secret to motivate us to not have resistance or anything against any customers that came onto the floor, the nasty ones, the mean ones, the grumpy ones, the ones that never tip, because we would say things like, maybe that person is a billionaire and the universe send that person today to us and maybe he feels like he wants to give us a billion, who knows, so go and help that customer.
Obviously it never happened, we asked and we believed for months, his life was getting worse because he needed money and has been working as a waiter for seven years, he needed to move on and get somewhere, I don’t have a school degree and I am not the brightest either, I literally needed luck to change anything for me.

To be continued.

Day 387 – The Journey with the secret Part 3

Continuing from day 386 – where the Journey Began Part 2.

I am writing these blogs to clear myself from any self-created ideas/beliefs/opinions I have of myself and my past where I would always put myself in the BETTER light of things, when in fact the truth wasn’t so sweet or shiny.

And facing my fast and clearing it all up I find that I learn a lot, I see a lot and a lot opens up, I can be self-honest with myself about it all, no need to hide my past in the fear of what others may think and within that becoming an image that moves instead of a living being breathe by breath.

I have noticed what happens when I lie, the lie isn’t real but to the other person I just created something real, because to them its truth, and then I have to change myself and my whole LIFE story to fit the lie just to keep the illusion of the lie that it is truth for the other being, all for some silly reason that the truth would not be cool enough, or the truth would not make me seem better or awesome. 

This kind of lying has spread through my life like a virus, I became so used to lying about anything that it just seemed natural, because I have always been able to get away with it, and at the same time when I get away with it, I get better and better friends or I become more popular, depends on how I took the real story and changed it to a lie that is always for the best of my own self-interest, and I know what others are impressed by, so I always change my story to have those thing sin, and there I have successfully lied. 

So living this LIEf has become too difficult, because the lies were backed by truth, the real story and there was always someone else that knew the real story. So I have this constant thing of making sure the truth and the lie does not come together, or the bubble would be popped, because truth wins automatically, its always got physical evidence plus myself as the evidence.

I had to remember so many made up stories that I had to have to tell to so many different people and never confuse them, fuck it was all about bloating up my ego. 

This has nothing to do with the secret, but it does because Lies is loud and truth is always secret, and here we have a bunch of people that was smart enough to make the secret loud and the truth seem like a waste of time, I mean fuck the truth, just ask then believe and then receive, fuck the fact that you have to pay bills or having to work hard for money to survive, the facts suck, just use the secret.

And then they have the guts to add a massive LIE to the theory of the secret and how it works, they added made up beliefs about how it works in fact with awesome graphics in a DVD that was for sale, using so much things that can make sense but is simple bullshit, it’s like making it seem really possible through making pretty pictures that show you have it can be done and then simply let you try it, over and over. 

See the people who created the secret never tells us the true story, the story that is truly the reasons for why they got so stinking rich, number one of the truth is, all they had to do was sell the bullshit to us folks, they did not even have to ask or believe, they just had to deceive and manipulate and then receive, because the truth is, they know everyone is struggling with surviving, and they know everyone is thus vulnerable, and thus they knew they could make something seem amazingly possible and realistic and that people will fall for it and showing graphic displays of how it “does” work over and over will make people believe that its possible.

The secret of the secret is, They know that no human knows how the mind works and how thoughts work or how we have them or create them or where feelings and emotions come from, and thus they knew that they could make up any shit, any bullshit and anyone would fall for ii, because no one can say they are wrong, because no one knows anything about the human mind and how it works in fact, except here at Desteni, we have properly investigated it for many years and we even offer a free course so that each one can get a clue and not fall for this bullshit ever again and actually start facing the true story, so I suggest follow this link and click HERE and join up and do it, finish it, face the reality of things and fix this world as ourselves first, there is no magic and saving just one person won’t make any difference. 

Ok, I must now stop here and continue on the secret tomorrow, where I give my example.

Day 386 – Where the Journey Began Part 2

This is a continuation from Day 385 – Start at the start Part 1

Way back in 2008 I was given two roads to choose from in my life, I had a choice to make, since choice is always limited to the physical aspects of everything that is here and thus not really a choice. Because we all always make decisions that are only within our own best self-interest, thus the choice is by nature already made for oneself. 

I can write this because back in 2008, before I ever came to Desteni farm, I was having a great time, if a great time is defined by boozing/drinking and partying and having sex and a girlfriend and dropping out of my last year of high school and already working as a waiter, then I guess that was having a great time. 

But the truth of my world back then was, when I was alone in my room or even in the house I wasn’t happy, I always found myself depressed and looking at the future, because the future is that one thing that still has to come, and it is determined by what I already have done in the past and what is in my immediate environment, that shows me pretty much where my future is going. 

I was in a relationship at that time as well, hoping that the relationship will be a game changer or in other words a life changer, meet new people, have more opportunities at money, as that is always the first goal and then sex, because at the current stage in 2008 I was a waiter, I have been doing it for a few months, and I saw that I was or maybe had to work there for the next couple of years, maybe save up some money and try a different job, stay at my parents’ house, maybe go and finish matrix/grade 12 and then try other jobs. 

The problem right after quitting the whole school brainwashing thing was all about now surviving and making money, hoping the brainwashing and all those years in a box filled with other kids. Will now pay off, I skipped one of the school years, it can’t be that big difference, to my surprise the difference was almost nothing, I was a waiter  with people with degrees, how useless. 

The main point is, I felt stuck, I was stuck, I did not see any point in studying further, as  a white south African back then the black empowerment thing didn’t really motivate me as well, but that’s just an excuse, I know. And the whole going back to school and being the oldest kid in school finishing his last year with young people, wasn’t that appealing to me.

I told my mother I would do my grade twelve/last year also with homeschooling but after my off year and that I will pay for it with my own money, but I know I was lying, it was only to make my mother feel better and to create hope for her, because I felt hopeless and giving someone else false hope makes us also delusional enough to actually feel better as well just because of that, how strange. But my mother knew that anyway and did not say anything. 

So Time went on, and I was living the double lie, when I am with people I am happy and I look like I am going to have a bright future and that I have plans and that I am doing so well even not finishing school, and when I am alone, secret things happen, other plans no one knows about, I was thinking a lot, I was really looking at what I can do, how can I get out, how can I just NOT be here in this town in this place, somewhere where there is a lot more opportunity. 

Obviously all that talk was just bullshit to myself to keep myself occupied, to make myself believe that there is something better out there and all I have to do it get to that other place. 

But the people in all the other places (as on the news) are doing even way worse, so it was clear it was all in my head really, hiding the fact of reality happening right in front of my eyes from myself through participating in different realities in my head.  But every day going to work was another slap in my face. 

So that is where my life was at, stuck and lost and really not doing anything, I was waiting and waiting for something else to come and change my LIFE. 

Then came the secret – you know the ask belief and receive secret, oops it’s not a secret anymore, so they made billions. 

To be continued on the secret.