Day 7 - Using memories to remind me as untrustworthy.
Many time I have a very busy schedule in relation to thing happening during the day, I would in the morning tell myself OK I have to do this, then that, then that, then that and then I also have to remember to switch the pumps at that time, and switching the pumps includes flicking two switches, then pouring bleach in the water tanks then making sure the water ball it down so it can start pumping again. I use memories to remind me to do it, instead of simply seeing I have to do it. (much simpler)
Now I have to use my memory to remember all of those things, and I actually trust myself to remember it all the time, yet I still forget stuff. So this is showing me I am not breathing effectively and being here in consideration of my environment as the physical, moving as the physical with in full common sense and understanding, but moving as memory instead, which proved to me again and again that it does not work and can not be reliable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on memory to do things, to remember things.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory as if I can trust it to remind me of the duties that I have to attend, or tasks.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on my mind as memories, when I am aware that with in the mind memories get lost, switched, changed and that they never stay the same as the mind interprets and add or take out parts, and that this is not reliable at all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on memories instead of trusting myself in each breathe with in awareness of my surroundings in consideration of all that is here as me in my current environment and the world, and to with in that in each breathe move myself in the physical with in understanding that if I participate in the mind at looking at memories to remember what I have to do that I will confuse myself, not all the time but sometimes, and that this is compromising me and my ability to move effectively, as it takes time to look with in memories instead of seeing here in the physical with in common sense what needs to be done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself with in and as the physical to be able to have and develop the skill to see and be aware of my surroundings and to act accordingly, realizing that if I participate with in the mind I can not possible consider my physical reality in space time but only interpret it as the past and not what is here presently.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create layers of memories with in me to carry around with me just to remember things, instead of living here in the physical in each breath in awareness to consider my physical world at all times, and thus it is unnecessary to remember as you can simply see with in and as the physical that is required in the moment with in what your daily tasks/responsibilities are.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the mind is more reliable than the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I have to use my mind as memories to remember things, as I can see and realize that I can simply see with in reality what is required as this requires no memory, no mind but physical direct actuality of using my eyes and seeing in awareness with common sense and responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my memories time and time again, even after all the evidence that shows me I can not trust my memories but only me with in the physical with in awareness of me in consideration to all life as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory to remind me of things just because I am to lazy to breathe and be aware in each moment of my physical reality, that witch is here in front of me the whole time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as memory as the past as a interpreted past by the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create memories with in me to work as a clock that goes off (hopefully) to remind me of things i need to do, instead of breathing and directing myself in each breath o do the things and not to postpone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory as a excuse that I will remember it to postpone and to not take immediate responsibility and act.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fill myself up with memories that I designed with in myself as clock's that must go off to remind me that I need to do something, leaving me under pressure and stress the whole time, and thus storing all the extra memories with in me as time and keeping me under stressful conditions and a time bomb, as memories actually get stored in the physical body in the cellular levels.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself under stress through postponement and keeping what I had to do as a memory to remind me later, rushing my day and getting frustrated at things because I have the memory the whole time of what I still have to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own frustration through postponement and creating the past into memories with in me to remind me of what i still have to do, instead I realize that I can stop creating all the unnecessary stress and frustrations by simply being here and acting in the moments with in awareness and common sense in and as the physical and thus no memory needed.
I realize that if I have to do something later, that no memory is needed, only awareness and simply physical considerations with in my world with in each breath bringing all that is here as me.
I commit myself to stop when I see I am using memory to remind me of what I need to do later, and to consider in the moment why I am doing so, and to with in that see if I am actually postponing and creating extra stress and frustration for myself, and to correct myself and to instead act and o in each breathe here in and as the physical as that which is best for all life.
I commit myself to write out and to forgive myself for all points of memories that I have created with in and as me to remind me of what I have to do and that has proven to me that it can not be reliable, and that I have to consider that if I do this with in my world then I am accepting it with in the whole world and so I am accepting a doctor to use his memory to do operations on people, and that he can at any moment simply just not remember as that puts peoples life's at stake, and to realize that is simple common sense and awareness is achieved that no memories is needed, but only what is here in practicality and common sense, and so a doctor needs only to see what he needs to do instead of trying to remember.
I commit myself to focus on breathing and to write and do self forgiveness on all points where I fall and go into memories, till I have stopped the pattern and be here in awareness with in and as the physical.
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