Day 257 – The Pattern of Who I Am Every Day Part 6

Day 257 – The Pattern of Who I Am Every Day Part 6

I see within this one point that I do it again out of fear, I have back chat and gossip and thoughts in my mind about other people because I fear something and within my mind I believe I am building a case to defend myself, I believe that in my mind I am setting things right, I believe that in my mind I can prepare myself to face this fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the gossip/back-chat within my mind that I create and participate within is from fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I fear others gossiping about me, so I gossip about them first to make myself feel better just in case they are gossiping about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that what I fear others gossiping about me is my own insecurities and self-judgments that I have about myself that I project onto others as if they are talking about the judgments and fears I have of myself and so within this fear I start to gossip about others within my mind to make myself feel better and to prepare myself just for incase the gossip is real and I need something to defend myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip about others/things within my mind without seeing and realizing that simple truth that it is me that is gossiping and judging and having back chat about myself first that I then create into insecurities and fears that I now project onto others as gossiping about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I gossip about others within my mind within secret that the gossip coming out within me about others is actually the things I fear others might be gossiping about me and so I start this game of gossiping to see who wins and who loses as the best gossipers in secret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have back-chat within me that it is within me and thus it is always about me and that I am attempting to separate it from and as me through projecting the back-chat onto and towards others within me mind in secret just to create a energy experience that can make me feel better about myself though making shit up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when and as I gossip/back-chat within me mind that I am setting things straight within me as that which I always believe to be the convenient truth where I always win and seem so good and right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am always deceiving myself within my mind through participating within secret as gossip/back-chat about myself/others/things as it is always based on assumption and my own limited interpretation of the physical reality and what i observe within the frame of my limited knowledge and information about things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am always deceiving only myself through participating within the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions that is always in my self interest and thus can never make a real valid calculation of reality as it is always based on me and only me winning and not having to feel bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I participate within my mind as gossip/back-chat and having thoughts about others that it is from fear and nothing else and that I am always trying to built cases within my mind towards LIFE and all that is here to defend only myself interest which in itself is utterly stupid and limited as it is never real or truth, it is simply made up crap in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that anything going on in my head is real or valid, when I do not even know how the mind in fact works or how energy and resonances work or how the Quantum Mind works.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe anything I make up or believe to be real within my mind, seeing and realizing that I will always make anything in my mind only in my favor and that it is obvious that if everything must always be in my favor that it cannot be trusted. Its a obvious sign of malfunctioning and thus must not be used as it will only been abused.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have gossip/back-chat about others that it is always to bring them down and make them less and to be nasty and judgmental and spiteful and simply put evil and that within this I can see that it is obvious that I do this in defense of something I fear of myself and am trying to hide of myself as I am clearly attempting to avoid looking at myself and am only trying to place myself in the good light so no one can see me and only focus on others and that this is always only me defending my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that in my mind I am always defending fear no matter how good or evil things are in my head.

To be Continued