The following lesson is quite interesting, it contains quite a few dimensions – I will tell the story, but it will be up to you to see the lesson.
Many years ago, just as me and my partner starting living together and sharing everything in our life with each other, it became a norm to just use each other’s things.
On this one specific day, a rainy day, I was digging something somewhere and borrowed my Partners rain jacket, because I didn’t have one yet, she lend it to me no questions asked, a mutual trust.
So while digging with the rain jacket on I started heating up from all the physical movement and the rain wasn’t coming in hard, just like drizzling, so I took the jacket off and placed it on the ground next to me where I was digging.
After a while I was exhausted and just wanted to get some water and food, so I left for the kitchen and made myself some food and got myself something to drink, My partner asked me to remember her rain jacket that I left outside, I said I will get it after my lunch. After my lunch I didn’t go back to fetch it, instead I started doing other things and getting busy, after a while my partner asked me again to remember to fetch her Jacket, it is a rain jacket that came all the way from another country – I said I wouldn’t forget, and continued with what I was doing.
It started getting later and dinner time was approaching, this meant everyone was kind of gathering in the kitchen slowly to prepare for food time. While in the kitchen my partner asked me again – did you get my rain Jacket, it is rainy and muddy and it can get damage outside just lying there, plus the dogs can get it and damage it.
Now as my Partner said this, the kitchen was filled with other people, specifically MEN – and Bernard, now the guys were like ooh, here comes trouble because of what my Partner is saying to me, and I said in a small sense of shame, NO I haven’t fetched the Jacket yet – Now Bernard sitting there start to talk.
Bernard looks at me and says: You must look at this point, it is exposing a point of disrespect towards your partner, and thus the respect you have for yourself – you must look your partner in the eyes and ask for forgiveness – BUT, the forgiveness you ask must be done unconditionally, you cannot expect anything back, it must be done unconditionally.
As I stand there and my internal reality being exposed and who I have accepted and allowed myself to be, the other males in the kitchen are kind of teasing me, saying in a joking manner, COME ON GIAN ask her for forgiveness!! But as they were Joking, I knew this is very real, I looked within myself while breathing and not listening to the other people, focusing on clearing the starting point within myself for what I was about to do for the first time in my life.
I looked up at my partner and I looked her in my eyes, even feeling awkward and a bit shy, I pushed through and said – Partner will you forgive me for disrespecting you, I did not expect any response, as I cleared the starting point to be unconditional, and I felt in that moment how I actually forgave me and corrected myself instead.
The other guys in the kitchen were saying out loud – WOW he did it?? GOOD BOY Gian (there males were friends visiting the farm, family members of Destonians) – basically seeing a Destonian in action and living what he stands for.
So I immediately went out to go fetch the Jacket, while doing this I saw so many dimensions of myself opening up within just that one point of disrespect that Bernard pointed out, the behavior and the thoughts and where else it is taking place within my reality, but now I had the opportunity to correct it and change.
Many years ago, just as me and my partner starting living together and sharing everything in our life with each other, it became a norm to just use each other’s things.
On this one specific day, a rainy day, I was digging something somewhere and borrowed my Partners rain jacket, because I didn’t have one yet, she lend it to me no questions asked, a mutual trust.
So while digging with the rain jacket on I started heating up from all the physical movement and the rain wasn’t coming in hard, just like drizzling, so I took the jacket off and placed it on the ground next to me where I was digging.
After a while I was exhausted and just wanted to get some water and food, so I left for the kitchen and made myself some food and got myself something to drink, My partner asked me to remember her rain jacket that I left outside, I said I will get it after my lunch. After my lunch I didn’t go back to fetch it, instead I started doing other things and getting busy, after a while my partner asked me again to remember to fetch her Jacket, it is a rain jacket that came all the way from another country – I said I wouldn’t forget, and continued with what I was doing.
It started getting later and dinner time was approaching, this meant everyone was kind of gathering in the kitchen slowly to prepare for food time. While in the kitchen my partner asked me again – did you get my rain Jacket, it is rainy and muddy and it can get damage outside just lying there, plus the dogs can get it and damage it.
Now as my Partner said this, the kitchen was filled with other people, specifically MEN – and Bernard, now the guys were like ooh, here comes trouble because of what my Partner is saying to me, and I said in a small sense of shame, NO I haven’t fetched the Jacket yet – Now Bernard sitting there start to talk.
Bernard looks at me and says: You must look at this point, it is exposing a point of disrespect towards your partner, and thus the respect you have for yourself – you must look your partner in the eyes and ask for forgiveness – BUT, the forgiveness you ask must be done unconditionally, you cannot expect anything back, it must be done unconditionally.
As I stand there and my internal reality being exposed and who I have accepted and allowed myself to be, the other males in the kitchen are kind of teasing me, saying in a joking manner, COME ON GIAN ask her for forgiveness!! But as they were Joking, I knew this is very real, I looked within myself while breathing and not listening to the other people, focusing on clearing the starting point within myself for what I was about to do for the first time in my life.
I looked up at my partner and I looked her in my eyes, even feeling awkward and a bit shy, I pushed through and said – Partner will you forgive me for disrespecting you, I did not expect any response, as I cleared the starting point to be unconditional, and I felt in that moment how I actually forgave me and corrected myself instead.
The other guys in the kitchen were saying out loud – WOW he did it?? GOOD BOY Gian (there males were friends visiting the farm, family members of Destonians) – basically seeing a Destonian in action and living what he stands for.
So I immediately went out to go fetch the Jacket, while doing this I saw so many dimensions of myself opening up within just that one point of disrespect that Bernard pointed out, the behavior and the thoughts and where else it is taking place within my reality, but now I had the opportunity to correct it and change.
Gian Te agradezco que estés escribiendo estos blogs ya que son de gran asistencia para mi misma y para todo en la vida, ya que no todos tuvimos la posibilidad de tener de primera mano tales lecciones.
ReplyDeleteSaludos