Fear Part 1 Day 285
Fear Part 2 Day 286
Fear Part 3 Day 287
Fear Part 4 Day 288
Fear Part 5 Day 289
Fear Part 6 Day 290
Fear Part 7 Day 291
I go the bat from the fly trap, I gently pulled the wings of and allowed the bat to climb off the rest of the way, The the bat was sitting on the Brick, he did not move, I realized his wings was all clamped together from the extreme stickiness of the fly trap, I breathed and realized this is going to take time, I gave myself all the time needed to do it, I let go of everything else I still had to do, so that I know the time I am with the bat is for and of complete support and assistance with nothing else in my head, me here breathing, the bat was shivering.
I was avoiding to touch the bat, the bat can have rabies, I looked at the bat and I had a small sadness I have fear of rabies - the bat needs my help or the bat dies, I fear dying from rabies, here is a animal that literally will not make it without my TOUCH, with my bare hands helping him/her, I cannot use cloves, it will contradict helping the bat covered with stickiness.
I used a stick to move the bat, I saw that I was simply creating separation which equals fear, I breathed and I let go of all emotions/thoughts inside of me, I equalized myself with a tree a rock which a bat does not fear and thus will not bite, I had no fear. I touched the bat carefully and the bat climbed onto my hand, I held the bat for a while to give some heat and comfort.
the bat started cleaning himself randomly while between my two hands. I was consistent within my breathing, I cannot allow any thought/fear/emotion, I am here with the bat, it becomes a enjoyment of doing, the bat and I were getting to know each other, we are comfortable, this took a few moments of sudden interactions/confrontations.
The bat climbs up to the tip of my Pinky finger and tries to stretch his wings, he is incapable, I pull on his wing to separate it, as I open it up he starts cleaning immediately on the spots, he is getting poison in, I see there is in the moment no other way. I cannot clean it with the stuff we have, it will tear the sensitive wings and only harm. it is up to the bat to clean and to get it ready, I am only a helping hand till it is done, we keep doing this for a few moments/minute, he can open his wings and stretch it, I am glad.
Suddenly the bats jumps off and fly, I know this is all I can do, the bat flies quite a distance and only going higher into the darkness.
I take a deep breath and I let go. I realized how my fear would have killed the bat f I did not stand clear in oneness and equality, the possibility of rabies was there, but once the fear was gone and the PHYSICAL communication was established, rabies was no more.
Trust is a Physical action, not emotional mind bullshit. so much is possible on this planet for all life - we must start to change what we have created and accepted and allowed in the name of separation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within considering a practical point of that the bat might have rabies within maybe biting me so go into thoughts of me getting abies dn what it might be like.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought that is built from the knowledge and information I have gathered from others that the bat can carry rabies where I see myself getting bitten by the bat and having rabies.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to REACT towards the thought of me having raboes and to within that go into FEAR of the bat.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within going into fear of the bat react towards the bat and to within the create separation within me towards the bat.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the thought in itself is already separation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself form the bat within fear and self interest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting rabies from a bat.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the knowledge and information that I got from others to use it as a justification for why I am going into fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the knowledge and information I got from others as a reason for separation, instead of seeing and realizing it is to use the knowledge and information as practicality and common sense to apply it within what’s best for all and to only keep what is good and that makes sense and to not use it for self interest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize the harm I am doing within acting and behaving within fear towards animals/humans as all my actions will be of separation and thus cause friction and so create energy that leads to harm.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the only reason the bat will bite me is if I have any other movement within me other then my physical movement, as the movement within me that comes from thoughts that moves to energy, that is always unpredictable which then makes me a danger and thus to be feared, and so open myself for attack/harm because I am not one being but many entities, the bat knows this, if I touch the bat and my heart beat which the bat picks up instantly even by breathe isn’t consistent then the bat knows there is something else. That cannot be trusted.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if I did not trust myself to touch the bat that there was other options to helping, and that fear was still not needed and that I could help either way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider letting the bat rather die then me just because I have a fear.
Once I started knowing the bat after a while, I was stunned with how the bat was exactly like a dog, only with wings, so CUTE and liking itself and cleaning and moving and doing the things, so fluffy and warm and all in my hand and on my fingers, with no intention of biting at all. The bat knew he was save now and could work, do his thing, I had to be slow and very careful in my movements, I had to move ME as my body, and this way the bat allowed it and did not go into fear/anxiety which is survival which is then going to biting mode.
As a kid I played with bats ALL the time, placing them on my shirts and underneath my shirts and let them hang from my skin and all kinds of stuff, I stopped doing it because people told me they were dirty and full of disease and disgusting – I started building fear around the point and that was it. No more communication.
I felt like a child again tonight being here with the bat, I also felt sad for what I have done/accepted and allowed all these years to be real to be the absolute truth and to be feared and to live such fear.
To be continued.
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