Fear Part 5 scared of women - Day 289


Continuing from:
Day 285 - Fear Part 1
Day 286 - Fear Part 2
Day 287 - Fear Part 3
Day 288 - Fear Part 4

I fear looking stupid in the eyes of women/female.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking Stupid in the eyes of women.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my life all about what females think of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I am not accepted in the eyes of females that I will be abused by them as the being bitchy and mean towards me and gossip about me making people dislike me and making life harder.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear gossip about me happening behind my back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being abused verbally by females as being nasty and mean towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project childhood experiences with females onto all females and to within this life and act in fear towards with females.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if females do not like me that I am Less of a man and that something must be wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear females.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself and how to be as the right way to be around females and that it is and will always be the wrong way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in fear around females seeing and realizing how this is a danger where I make myself small and little around women that creates a inferior character of myself that in its polarity generates hate and anger towards females that is not best for all and thus I see and realize that I must stop this Mind fuck bullshit and breathe and see here as the physical one and equal and to stop my own self judgments and gossip in my head about myself and to not project it onto women as if it is theirs and to live here one and equal with and as them in breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being confident around women.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being disliked by females.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the feedback I get from females as either positive or negative and to accordingly live and act to either get more positive energy or to live in a way as to prevent myself from experiencing the negative even if it means compromising myself and my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that MY FEAR is the cause and the creating point of what I fear and try to avoid, thus I see and realize I must built self integrity where I stand within myself as who I am and to not place that false responsibility on others such as females where I make it a open point for blame and resentment that leads to back chat and even to consequences if the energy experience isnt stopped and taken responsibility for as myself as being the only one responsible.

I fear that I am not good enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear not being Good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the general feeling experience of myself that I am not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the general Feeling/emotion I experience of myself as not being good enough is acceptable and normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I will never be good enough slave to the system to make good enough money to live a good enough life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for a good enough life with a good enough paycheck with me not being good enough as the reason for it to be good enough, seeing and realizing how this is my limitation point, my point of never achieving and going big and making lots of money and changing my life situation to a point where I can change ALL life with what I have as a support within the Equal Money system and to bring about a world that isnt Good enough But that I BEST for ALL. Seeing and realizing that I must start with myself to achieve the BEST I can for myself to Bring it to ALL equally with what I achieve through Stopping the self judgment and identification of myself as not being Good enough as this judgment is what I accept and allow within myself to always only settle for just good enough.


2 comments:

  1. Thas for sharing Gian, I liked this statement: "I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if females do not like me that I am Less of a man and that something must be wrong with me. "

    It was funny to read this, because I have the exact same fear but the oposite way of yours, like, I fear to look stupid, bitchy and "gossip girl".
    While reading ur blog I came to see something very interesting: When I was a girl, I was sometimes bitchy/gossip/nasty, and yea, many girls gossip about boys.
    When I came to high school it was the opposite way, guys were now the "cool ones" the bas asses, the ones who chosed the girls and not the girls who chosed them.
    Girls usually become more shy around men and want to be accepted by them (as I do), thus we place ourselves as slaves to that point and inferior.
    And, the difference between the guys is that some developped their fear to females differently and it it then became HATE or JUDGEMENT & SUPPERIORITY and the "I DONT CARE WHAT FEMALES THINK ABOUT ME" attitude (u know what I mean?), some other guys didnt develop that judgement/hate and superiority.
    So, by being bitchy/gossip girl I would not attract the cool guys, thats why I feared to look like this. Lol

    What do you think about this?do i jump too much in a conclusion?, I have observed it so far in high school

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Bitia, NO you did not jump to any conclusion, it is so, you said it right on, it is cool,t o have you reply back on this, lol now we see both sides of the coin so to say, it is all a weird nasty game so to say. I see exactly what you say as I saw it and yhea it is how it is/was. very interesting and thank you for sharing it here.

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