Day 348 – Ignoring the obvious point in the Moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am busy with work and something happens and I have for instance the thought of calling someone to get input on the situation to Ignore such a moment within the believe that it isn’t necessary and that I don’t have to do it if I don’t want to, seeing and realizing such a moment is me as the quantum physical assessing everything at once and that already a common sense solution for me was made and presented to me to follow thought, and I can asses the solution presented to me and make a decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Ignore the obvious points presented to me in the moment that is of common sense and a solution to the problem just because I do not feel like making the extra effort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make the extra effort within the moment no matter if it is necessary or not, as long as I check all options and solutions and that I can always know I wasn’t limited and did not limit myself within my capabilities and that I stand clear and at peace with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself stupid to the obvious points to follow in moments that they are here and to then when and as I am questioned or taken on about the problem and questioned on what I did to solve it to now have to create and make up all these stories and lies and excuses to why I did not follow the obvious point in the moment that was here, and get shit for that and make myself feel stupid and be made stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as my limitations of not following all points through that is here to make sure there is not come backs on the points I am working with through ignoring the obvious moments of correction/solutions I see here and to continue forth within deliberate ignorance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep on living as excuses instead of solutions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the excuses I create for myself through not following through on the points that present themselves within moments as possible solutions to a problem/scenario to me and rather create them as regrets/could haves and thus excuses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest towards myself within moments of clarity within what needs to be done through not doing it within excuses and fears and all kinds of bullfrogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I create my own anger within myself towards myself for keep on making myself seem stupid because of those moments I did not trust myself when and as the points of possible solutions present themselves here and I do not follow through on it and just let it go and then face the stupidity of me doing that when and as someone else is throwing it in my face, seeing and realizing that I am creating distrust within myself f myself through my own actions instead of building confidence and self-respect and honor.

I commit myself to when and as I am in a situation and there is a problem that arise and I can see the problem and when and s that instant moment is HEE where I see the possible solution, to Stop and to breathe and to follow through on it, to trust myself and to also check that what I see does make sense and that it is a common sense solution and not just a quick fix, as the quick fix usually leaves out the fixing part. And to follow through even if it is for nothing, I know I will be clear and standing at peace and self-respect and honor within myself. And that NO excuses and no justifications and no dishonesty is crawling and lurking within me which creates consciousness and feeds it and thus only have limitations instead of expansions as myself to self-perfection.

Day 307 – Not Being heard, Aggression and annoyance Part 2

Day 306 – Not Being heard, Aggression and annoyance Part1

I commit myself to when and as I react to others not hearing me to stop and to breathe and to wait a while till I see the person is focused more and here and then speak again.

I commit myself to when and as I get aggressive and loud within my communication towards others to be heard, to stop and to breathe within the realization that it is Not best for all life as i am starting to now treat others as I would Like to NOT be treated.

I commit myself to when and as I see that there is aggression coming up from within me to know myself in that moment and that I cannot trust myself to speak or act, thus I see and realize that I must commit myself to take a deep breath and to let go of the aggression and only speak once the aggression is stopped.

I commit myself to when and as I see back chat or thoughts coming up where I project what I am experiencing as aggression or annoyance from within me onto the other person to within the obvious common sense that it is within me to stop and to breathe and to take self responsibility for how I am experiencing myself and to check why and how I am creating these experiences and to change.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am making the other person the problem to stop and to breathe and and to make sure I am breathing and not giving attention to the experience within me.

I commit myself to when and as I experience anything in me that I am projecting towards another to make breathing my first priority within and as such a scenario.

I commit myself to when and as i see that I am in fear of who I am becoming when and as I am possessed by aggression and annoyance that I have already attached to another being as being the cause which is a dangerous scenario to sit down or to walk away or to direct my focus on touching something or anything physical while breathing to direct myself back to the physical out of the energy experience till I am stable and can walk to the other person and talk to them in clarity and have taken full self responsibility.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am a danger to others to take self responsibility through removing myself temporarily from the scenario if possible and to stabilize myself.

I commit myself to when and as I see a scenario that will and possibly can occur when I know I have to speak or ask questions to already place a foundation of prevention for myself where I give myself the breath that I may not be heard and that I will have to repeat myself and that I must be OKAY with it and not take it personal and simply do those actions over and over without any reactions or energy till I am heard and it is done.

Day 306 – Not being heard aggressive and annoyed. Part 1

Day 306 – Not being heard aggressive and annoyed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I find that others are not hearing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that when someone else are not hearing me that I must react and become loud and aggressive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become aggressive when and as someone isn’t hearing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personal when and as someone isn’t hearing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Stop breathing and to go into the mind where I hear myself and then to within that get aggressive and annoyed with the other person not hearing me as I see that in my head I sound clear and loud enough and thus the other person must be the problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the other person the problem for what I am experiencing within me as aggression and annoyance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am getting aggressive with myself for not being patient and breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I get annoyed with myself fro getting angry instead of breathing and being patient and to wait till the person is here and I am here and we can talk clearly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Get annoyed when and as I have to repeat myself three or more times with what I had to say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I must be able to say something ten to a billion times without reacting or experiencing anything within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear who I become when and as I am aggressive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own behavior when and as I get aggressive and annoyed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I can or might do when and as I am getting annoyed and the annoyance turns into aggression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear myself, seeing and realizing that I know myself and thus it is myself responsibility to direct myself in ways that is that of prevention and not avoidance but prevention as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others will think of me if I lose my cool and show my aggression and annoyed side.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear putting fear in others when and as my aggression shows or comes out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I can do to myself, as I have never gone there fully but see that the energy behind it is strong and my body hardens up and I become really intense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget breathing when and as I see a situation coming up where I might have agr4ession or become annoyed and to prevent that from coming here through seeing the prediction and breathing and stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Hold it against the other person when and as I experience aggression and annoyance within me, seeing and realizing that is manipulation and me not taking self responsibility for myself but instead trying to have power over another so that they must change for me instead of me changing how I experience myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to manipulate others through becoming aggressive and annoyed to induce fear with intensity and so NOT having to take self responsibility for who I have accepted and allowed myself to become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize the consequences of what I am doing when and as I become aggressive and annoyed and to act on that, that i am creating fearful people around me. And fearful people usually will and want to get rid of the fear and thus I am opening myself for harm or whatever consequences, equal and one to what I am accepting and allowing within me.

To be Continued on Self commitments.

Day 305 – Directing Tiredness Commitment Statements Part 3

Day 303 – Directing Tiredness  Part1
Day 304 - Directing Tiredness Part 2

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am forcing myself to be awake when I am tired, to instead see if there is time to take a nap and to set my alarm for a small period of time to nap and to take the nap and to get the tiredness out of the way so that I can move forward within my day to be effective and sufficient within applying myself with the daily activities that is still to be done.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into the thought of “seeing myself still having to do so much” to stop and to breathe and to move myself to do things and to not be “set Back” in getting things done through holding onto the thought of what still needs to be done within me feeling tired, seeing and realizing how this makes the tiredness much worse and how I then resist standing up even more to get things done, seeing and realizing how this then turns into me just sitting around, not napping or doing anything constructive but wasting time.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself wasting time because I have the Idea that I am to tired to do anything to instead Stop and to pick myself up and to breath and to move myself to see if it is me being tired or me making myself tired from thinking what still needs to be done.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking about what needs to be done to stop and to breathe and to ask myself a really self honest question, why am I thinking about what still needs to be done instead of doing it, seeing and realizing that the thinking part is what is making me tired and not me actually doing it lol.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking about doing something to stop and to breathe and to see that the thinking part is me projecting what needs to be done that this is done within comparison to what I have already done and thus overwhelming myself in the mind when in fact the actual physical reality of it is much less then what I am making it to be in my head.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself not using my Time in a constructive way to stop and to breathe and question what I am actually doing and why I am wasting my time and to within that be self honest with myself and to then direct myself according to the un deniable common sense that comes up.

I commit myself to when and as I feel that I am tired and cannot focus to give myself that hour of sleep that I know will work and have me fresh for the next four hours to be as effective and focused as I can be to do what needs to be done as I have proven to myself in the past through doing this.

I commit myself to investigate all point everyday when I experience myself as tired and to be self honest within the questioning and answering and to find the common sense and self honesty within breathing and to not just always go for the sleep first and or to not just go for the pushing myself first but to be clear on what happening and to understand myself and what I am doing so that I can stop and purify each point till I am clear and my starting point is clear.

Day 304 Directing tiredness Part 2

Day 303 Directing tiredness Part1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am tired to judge myself as being weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not breathing when and as I experience myself as tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the thought of seeing myself still having to do so many things yet I am tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see the thought of all the things i still need to do but I am tired to react ad judge myself as weak for being tired when I still need to complete many tasks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a opinion of myself of “I am better then this” and to from this opinion as a judgment as an Idea I have of myself that I desire to be of myself to then react and fear that I am and will never be it as I am currently tired and do not see myself passing the point of tiredness and becoming the Ideal me of not being tired and being able to move and get things done.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself f to judge tiredness as a weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge not getting tired as something that is amazing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as being weak and useless when and as they claim to be tired and I am not, and to within this then have a bad reaction when and as I am tired within the fear of being like the others and that they will now judge me as I have judged them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being unable to push through a point such as being tired to be in a place of breathing and never being tired, seeing and realizing that to NEVER be tired is currently impossible as the physical does require sleep and thus my goal is a fantasy and not a reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I can work full day all the time with no rest and that I will still be unstoppable to get to all my tasks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that taking a little nap is giving into weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I must look at my physical reality and what is here and what I am doing and then to do the actual in fact math to see where4 have I been, in the mind or actually doing something to see where my tiredness is coming from, as that will determine if I can actually breathe through it and get here, or if the breathing will become a mindfuck for suppressing something that is real and only compromising myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see being tired as ONLY a limitation, not seeing that being tired is a sign that I need to rest to be affective again in all aspects of my life once rested.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself.
To be continued.

Directing Tiredness Part 1 - Day 303

I have been tired everyday coming from eleven plus hours of work, I have judged it as not cool, I should not get tired, why am I tired, the tiredness sinks in when I sit down or when I get in a position that my body (I) feel I can now just sleep, and then I “wake up for a moment from a reaction from a judgment of “I am better than this and thus if I am tired and want to nap I must be weak or not breathing.

And this compromises me from doing anything else, right now at this moment writing this blog I am half falling asleep lol, but I am breathing and I am typing, I know I am using my adrenaline to do this, it is amazing how far I can push myself sometimes, I only had 5 hours of sleep last night as I had to wake up and hour early to go to a car salesmen training conference in Durban for the entire day.

But here is the full story of what is happening daily. I come home and I am tired, so I sit down from a few minutes to have coffee and to relax a bit. Then the few minutes turns into half and hour and then I start moving and doing stuff, then after doing stuff for twenty minutes I sit down again, I am tired.

I am also within this NOT considering the full extent of my changes, I am in training at the new Job, I take in a shit load of brand new information ALL day from everyone at work, I am being passed around all day to do everyone’s small things from them, I am the new guy, and they are using me, till I am a actual car salesmen this will happen, they use me to do the things they know take effort, so I am all day doing everyone’s effort. I like it, I learn more than they can understand LOL.

I want to go take a nap but then I think, if I take a nap I will lose all that time sleeping when I can do something constructive, and if I take a nap I will struggle to sleep later again, so I do not sleep, but this turns into a time wasting pattern, where I now instead of taking a nap and getting the tiredness over with. I stand around and I sit around and I watch TV and everything for quite a while with the reasoning that at least I am awake.

Then I go and check my email, usually when I check my emails there are about a hundred, so I go through them individually to read it and to check what’s for me and what is not, and sitting in front of the screen makes me even more tired, so I decide to go and sit outside a bit more to remain awake.

Then this bit turns into another fifteen minutes and eventually even an hour as someone is watching something and I automatically use it as a excuse to sit and watch.

Then when I look at the time it is already nine or ten, and I go to sleep at eleven, I get back from work anytime from six till late, I never know what the day has in store in terms of coming home.

So what I have noticed is that if I am Tired when I get how I should instead GO and take a hour nap, not to long but enough to after an hour be busy for the next three hours within doing Desteni and Equal Money system things, that is then constructive and using my time sufficiently and what’s best for all life.

So I see that the IDEA and BELIEF I have created around being tired and wasting time when I take a nap has influenced me in such a way that I refuse to go and take a nap and instead compromise and Waste MORE time not doing anything.

I see the “pot hole” I fall into and it has happened now a few times. I know taking a hour nap usually sorts it all our because I did this in the past, a week or two ago and it was awesome, I was good and ready for the rest of the night.

So it is a simple way of applying myself within being sufficient and effective within taking practical preventive steps.

To be continued on SF and SCS.