Directing Tiredness Part 1 - Day 303

I have been tired everyday coming from eleven plus hours of work, I have judged it as not cool, I should not get tired, why am I tired, the tiredness sinks in when I sit down or when I get in a position that my body (I) feel I can now just sleep, and then I “wake up for a moment from a reaction from a judgment of “I am better than this and thus if I am tired and want to nap I must be weak or not breathing.

And this compromises me from doing anything else, right now at this moment writing this blog I am half falling asleep lol, but I am breathing and I am typing, I know I am using my adrenaline to do this, it is amazing how far I can push myself sometimes, I only had 5 hours of sleep last night as I had to wake up and hour early to go to a car salesmen training conference in Durban for the entire day.

But here is the full story of what is happening daily. I come home and I am tired, so I sit down from a few minutes to have coffee and to relax a bit. Then the few minutes turns into half and hour and then I start moving and doing stuff, then after doing stuff for twenty minutes I sit down again, I am tired.

I am also within this NOT considering the full extent of my changes, I am in training at the new Job, I take in a shit load of brand new information ALL day from everyone at work, I am being passed around all day to do everyone’s small things from them, I am the new guy, and they are using me, till I am a actual car salesmen this will happen, they use me to do the things they know take effort, so I am all day doing everyone’s effort. I like it, I learn more than they can understand LOL.

I want to go take a nap but then I think, if I take a nap I will lose all that time sleeping when I can do something constructive, and if I take a nap I will struggle to sleep later again, so I do not sleep, but this turns into a time wasting pattern, where I now instead of taking a nap and getting the tiredness over with. I stand around and I sit around and I watch TV and everything for quite a while with the reasoning that at least I am awake.

Then I go and check my email, usually when I check my emails there are about a hundred, so I go through them individually to read it and to check what’s for me and what is not, and sitting in front of the screen makes me even more tired, so I decide to go and sit outside a bit more to remain awake.

Then this bit turns into another fifteen minutes and eventually even an hour as someone is watching something and I automatically use it as a excuse to sit and watch.

Then when I look at the time it is already nine or ten, and I go to sleep at eleven, I get back from work anytime from six till late, I never know what the day has in store in terms of coming home.

So what I have noticed is that if I am Tired when I get how I should instead GO and take a hour nap, not to long but enough to after an hour be busy for the next three hours within doing Desteni and Equal Money system things, that is then constructive and using my time sufficiently and what’s best for all life.

So I see that the IDEA and BELIEF I have created around being tired and wasting time when I take a nap has influenced me in such a way that I refuse to go and take a nap and instead compromise and Waste MORE time not doing anything.

I see the “pot hole” I fall into and it has happened now a few times. I know taking a hour nap usually sorts it all our because I did this in the past, a week or two ago and it was awesome, I was good and ready for the rest of the night.

So it is a simple way of applying myself within being sufficient and effective within taking practical preventive steps.

To be continued on SF and SCS.