Day 127 – Being Skinny – The machine Within Part 13.

This is a continuation of day 126 on the point of looking at all the points that I can see within myself that is Still Here as what I am holding onto and applying Self Forgiveness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the body, as if the body isn’t me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to fully consider that I am in fact the body and what that implies.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as I am the body in fact, I decide what is happening to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in and as the belief that everything that is happening to my body I ca not prevent or change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I am existing as the mind as energy and thus as the mind I influence the body through that which I resonate myself with, and through this resonance as the thoughts/feelings/emotions and back chat I am creating my body and influencing my body, realizing that as I do not understand the physical or the body or how the mind functions I have no directive principal over what is happening yet I am doing it, thus I see and realize that I have to learn and educate myself on how the mind works and the body and to within this take self responsibility equally for both, and to rebirth myself as life as that which is here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the body/flesh through existing as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as the mind through the body which leads to physical consequences that I can not understand as I have separated myself from the body to exist as the mind and thus anything that is happening with the body is always a “mystery” to me, realizing that the mystery is solved once I look at Who I am as existing as the mind instead of as the body as the flesh that which is real and which is being abused for the entertainment of the mind as self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the mind in separation of the body/flesh without considering that there will be consequences living in separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself as the flesh as the body as who I am in fact as Life one and equal., and as long as I exist as the mind as energy I will only manifest consequences that will be bared on the flesh to show to me what I am doing as who I am.

Ito be Continued with Commitment Statements.

Day 126 – Being Skinny – The Machine Within Part 12

Continuing from Day 115 Part 1 taking quotes and applying Self Forgiveness accordingly.

Self Forgiveness – this I will apply through looking at all the points that I can see within myself that is Still Here as what I am holding onto.

I approach this through breathing and looking at myself and as I breathe I speak the word Skinny – and withing this I see what is here – for instance as I say Skinny I have a reaction towards it, a fear, now what is the fear the fear I see is “lack” – fear that I am lacking something, either within my body that I get in through foods, or through a Belief/idea/opinion and so forth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and idea about skinny being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word skinny that I have judged as bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within self judgment within being skinny and that other will see me as less than.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being less than other being skinny and being a male.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure when someone says I am skinny within the self judgment of “I am small and weak and the skinniness conforms it”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge being a male and being skinny as being weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to be strong and not weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value in strength, realizing that strength is to take what your weakness is and to make it a strength.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to feel vulnerable being a male and being skinny as we live in a world of where the belief exist that the strongest survive, realizing that as long as I belief and live out that being skinny is weak I am supporting such a world where only the strong survive and where the weak is cast out, instead of creating a world where the strong supports the weak and the weak supports the strong to be supportive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear strong people and that they will take advantage of me as bullying me or wanting to fight me or wanting to harm me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being harmed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being physically harmed in a situation where someone physically bigger than me can easily over power me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being physically over powered by another human due to having a reasonable bigger size body then me and that I will be harmed and can not do anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the fear of being harmed physically by another human created and made myself a weapon within and as the mind in such a way that I will harm others first before they can harm me, realizing that within my fear I am actually the only harm around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to other males just because they are bigger than me in their physical designs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other males and to within the comparison within my mind belittle myself and make myself feel less than, realizing that in fact I am not less than them or more but that I am only creating it so within my mind and becoming/living the manifestation of my thoughts/judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to walk this earth as the earth as who i am as the flesh, and to instead search for an image/idea that I preferred all my life befor4e I can walk and breathe, realizing that I do not know the future and that I can for all I know waist my entire life searching and trying to achieve this image before I start to live life as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I will only get rid of the fear I have towards other human being once I achieve the body I belief will give me the confidence I require.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from and as confidence and to seek it outside of myself in a future projection, instead of realizing that I can bring confidence here as WHO I decide to be in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when and as I see/observe other ,ales with well built bodies, that I am not desiring the type of bodies they have for myself, but that I am desiring what they present as having confidence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect confidence to what type of body I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being confident with myself because of the self judgments I have about myself and my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I do not have the right to be confident with myself because of being skinny, realizing that this is a typical pre-programmed design and a result of a consumerism society where the media portray that only “healthy LOOKING” people can be confident and have self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the trap of consumerism where it is presented to the people that only healthy LOOKING people can be confident, creating a world of people that is insecure and do not trust themselves all based on how they look and so Capitalism has created the perfect conditions for consumerism as people will now do anything to look good and healthy to only then have confidence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FALL for the beliefs/ideas/opinions that are portrayed by the media based on a profit driven society where anything and everything will and can be used against you to make profit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach an idea of being skinny as being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attache a negative feeling/emotion to the idea I have about being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge being a skinny male as being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge skinny males as being less than and inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being skinny as being a bad thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about being skinny due to the ideas I have created about being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the idea I have created about being skinny comes from memories and past experiences that I have identified as myself and so created a character for myself as being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shit for being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate me as the body for being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for not gaining weight no matter what I have tried.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have tried everything yet as there is one more option and thta is to make peace with myself as the body and to focus on living as that which is best for all life and to instead be here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when and as I hate myself or being skinny I am actually only feeling powerless to change myself and within feeling powerless I become angry and depressed, instead of breathing and to stop the mind fuck that does not do anything practical for me and only compromises my life as proven through space and time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the feeling of being powerless to change my body and to thus give into depression and anger.

To be continued...

Day 125 – Being Skinny – The Machine Within Part 11.

Continuing from Day 115 Part 1 taking quotes and applying Self Forgiveness accordingly.

Quote 9: “what is the belief of myself that I am imposing/trying to live out that takes all my energy, instead of living here in breathe as the physical.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must be muscular.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief of myself of that I must be muscular to be a man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being a man according to how big and how much muscles a man has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being a man according to muscles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that I must be muscular to be respected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect respect with how big and how much muscles I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a Belief a religion of myself that I must always be ABLE to do anything at anytime and thus I must always physically be ready – thus I belief to always be physically ready my body must be in a certain shape that reflects that I am always ready.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place being always ready to work/act and taking self responsibility in, that I must be physically built for such things, realizing that I have already proven to myself over time and a lot of work in my life even while being skinny that how big and how my muscles look had nothing to do with any of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in fear of the unknown as to when something MIGHT happen and to within this fear want/desire to prepare my body to the ultimate to always be ready just in case, realizing and understanding that living in this behavior I am actually only creating my fear through my actions/behaviors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must be ready to physically fight and kill other humans just in case with my body and so within this fear of physically having to fight someone and that I might die, excessive and break my body in the preparation of the fear manifesting, realizing that within such behavior I am killing myself and harming myself and thus I do not need another human to beat me up as I am doing it myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that my body is useless and through this PUNISH my body physically through the way I move and push my body constantly telling my body – you are not good, you such, you are a bad body, I hate you for the way you are and that I will only love you if you change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I am abusing my body and that the signals I am giving my body daily through my actions and what those actions are signaling/telling my body and that my body will respond in return.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have to work with my body in oneness and equality to have actual effect – as it is all about the starting point as LIFE and what is best for all LIFE in all ways and as this is only a matter of WHO I am.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as long as I force anything onto my body or into my body I am in FACT giving my body the judgment signals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body and to within this force my body within physical actions to change to the other “good” judgment as the Love in my mind, not realizing within these actions I am only hating and punishing and being nasty to my body in my actions as I might as well just say to my body all day Long – I hate you- I fucking hate you, You are useless and that is why I am making you do all these things, like crucifying the flesh for a false image/God in my mind.

To be continued

Day 122 – Being Skinny – The Machine Within Part 8.

Continuing from Day 115 Part 1 taking quotes and applying Self Forgiveness accordingly.

Quote 7: “No wonder I burn all my energy, living in such a way in the mind in following beliefs/ideas the whole time that isn’t even real, it is but an idea I have of myself.”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it a wonder of myself for why I do not gain weight and thus leaving it all up to the wondrous imagination of the mind to have assumptions and all the Ideas/beliefs/perceptions about why my body does not gain weight, instead of realizing that I am my body and that I can as my body check why I am not gaining weight and what the cause is, and so I can change it and work with it from there on all levels such as the mind and the body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use wondering about myself and why I do not gain weight as a means to have many excuses and reasons that I build up through the wondering just not to have to actually investigate the point for myself within the starting point of fear of what I m=will find as to the real cause, as me permitting it within who I am as my participation and that I am actually in fact responsible and the cause.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to live and exist within and as the mind, neglecting the physical body and as the results have a skinny body to show that I am not properly looking and caring for myself as myself as the body but that I am trying to fix my body as Who I am through a mind that is not the body and thus imposing all these solutions based on assumptions and ideas/beliefs that came from a place of wondering instead of actual self investigation and taking self responsibility as the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as I exist within and as the mind the body will manifest in such a way as if the body is fading away, thus being skinny and remaining skinny and now growing, as I am only growing in my mind as thoughts and back chat and feelings/emotions which requires physical energy from the flesh.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when and as I try to change the physical within anything else but the physical such as the mind, I am only imposing Beliefs/ideas/opinions onto the body and not actual physical facts that is in consideration of the physical and how the physical works and functions and thus I am only abusing my body and using my body as a punching bag from the mind to blow the body with punches of beliefs/ideas/opinions and thus trying to change the body from the outside only as appearances instead of changing the body from the foundations at cellular levels outwards.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Have an Idea about myself that I am weak if I am skinny.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea of myself that I am incapable within and as the physical when I am skinny.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief the idea I have Justified within my mind as that I can never gain weight, realizing that as long as I belief the Idea I am creating it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that it is impossible to change the Belief I have about the Idea I have of myself to that which is physically practically best for all as myself within and as the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that it is impossible to change Ideas one has of oneself as an Idea must be true, why else would I have it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that any idea I have of myself as multiple opinions put together by myself/others/society must be real and true, realizing that as long as I belief it I am the only one making it true.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the Idea I have of myself as never being able to gain weight as being true just because the mind thinks so and makes it so, realizing That I am the one participating within such Ideas/beliefs/opinions and thus only I decide in the end what is possible and what is not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that everything happening to my body is happening to my body – not realizing that I am my body and that as me as Body is the only one that can in fact decide.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I can change myself as the physical as I decide ad move myself and create myself in and as the physical one and equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust what is in my head as thoughts/feelings/emotions as if they are real, realizing that the physical is real and that the thoughts/feelings/emotions is dependent on the physical and thus it is me as the physical that decides what signals the body gets through my own self created and accepted and allowed beliefs/opinions/ideas/judgments’ and that I must stop the abuse from both sides and end the polarity game equally and remain here as that which is best for all life in all ways as the flesh one and equal.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize as the body I decide as the body one and equal.
To be continued..

Day 121 – Being Skinny – The Machine Within Part 7.

Continuing from Day 115 Part 1 taking quotes and applying Self Forgiveness accordingly.

Quote 6: “why do I see it as a train – a train symbolizes an object that moves on tracks, a set path and that this object (train) carries lots of people or a delivery load – this is why I see it shows the symbolism of me believing I have to keep moving for others to keep moving in the fear of that if I stop moving others will stop moving because I belief I am responsible for dragging them and also keeping them going.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place the responsibility of others onto myself, realizing that each being is self responsible and so I am self responsible within Who I am as all others, and thus it is who I am that determines what I do and not what I do that determines who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place what I do such as carrying the responsibility of others onto myself within the Idea/belief that it will decide who I am, not realizing that within this I place pressure on myself and what I do and never focusing on myself as who i am, and so put my body through physical stress and anxiety within the belief of what is expected of me to do so that others will also keep moving and not fall.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I work outside such as building things to push my body more and more within the belief/idea that if I push my body physically to its limits others will see what I am doing and within that move themselves more and more as well as motivational point, realizing that within this I am taking others responsibility out of their hands to create and develop self movement for themselves and within this only compromising my body and placing myself under stress, thus I realize it is to move myself according to breathe in and as the physical within consistency and not within physical force and to within the movement as my body as breathe as Who I am be a leading example instead of a forcing movement onto others and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others not moving themselves and to within this fear move myself even more and to harm my body to show them what they must do and be willing to move as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Who I am determines what I do, and thus I can see who I am as moving fear/stress isn’t healthy and not supportive or assisting anyone or myself, and thus I realize it is for me to slow down and to take self responsibility for myself first within and as my movement and so be a example for others where they can see and learn from and move themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look at myself as Who I am and only focus on what others are doing in within this comparison also only focus on what I am doing and not who I am, realizing that this is forming competition within me where I want to move more and better than the rest, so that I can say and tell them, look you are not doing your best as I am and so force them to move more and more as I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others within what I am capable of doing and what they are capable of doing and to within this always wanting to be the best just to not be seen as the others as not doing anything, not moving, not taking self responsibility and being the good guy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within wanting to be the good guy through doing the right thing always, even if it means harming my body and putting my body under stress and anxiety, realizing that the body cannot maintain itself effectively under stress and fear as the body needs to use physical chemicals and energy to generate these two emotions to be experienced which requires my mind to eat from the flesh and so within living this way I actually cause my own skinniness and constant hunger, a hunger for acceptance and gratification from others as being the good guy and to not be classified as the ones that doesn’t do anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others within the fear of being seen as others through their actions and being judged by their actions in a criticized way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being criticized by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as someone useless within others eyes through my application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately act and move in ways to impress others even if it means selling my body as losing weight and being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my skinniness has a origin and that it is to look within my actions to see who I am and to then deconstruct the actions that I have defined myself as the patterns and to then in reverse re-birth myself where I create myself first as WHO I AM as a self directive decision and to from that as that which is best for all life move myself in oneness and equality as the physical in each breathe as Life.

To be Continued..

Day 120 – Being Skinny – The Machine Within Part 6

Continuing from Day 115 Part 1 taking quotes and applying Self Forgiveness accordingly.

Quote 5: “the belief I see within myself where I have to keep the fire alive within myself to keep these scary heavy metals moving up and down to keep the wheels spinning to keep moving and to keep going forwards.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that I need a Fire as a energetic experience of myself to physically keep me moving, through the self judgment of being skinny I have to compensate for it by being extra energetic to have the same level of power as those with physical bodies that is physically bigger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the mind through imposing Ideas/beliefs/opinions about myself onto myself as a alternate self to generate an energetic experience within myself to force my body to do more – realizing that this leads to tiredness and the body requiring more physical energy to burn into nothingness, and thus eventually take all the fat from the body and even from the muscles to generate energy to power to mind so that the mind can force the body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I have to within being skinny prove myself as still being equally strong as those that isn’t skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must be equally strong as all others within my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must proof to others that my skinny body has hidden powers in strength and durability through pushing my body as the mind with and as energy of the mind burning the physical bodies energy to stimulate the minds energy to force the physical till exhaustion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must keep going and gaining more and more strength, realizing that within this behavior/movement I am creating physical consequences for myself as my body through exhausting my body and its natural resources and so create and manifest a metabolism that also just keep going and going that burns all my physical energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must keep going forwards the whole time within pushing my body till I reach the Idea/belief/opinion within my mind of what I must achieve, realizing that even if I do achieve the Idea/belief/opinion I will simply change it and the chase will continue and never end and within this only trap and enslave myself to the same patterns for a life time till I realize that I am here in and as the physical breathing and moving as the physical and that is what is relevant and living life and not chasing castles in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I push myself to achieve the expectations of the mind through keeping ongoing that I will achieve my desires, realizing that the mind is constantly changing and thus I set myself up for a life time of chasing, thus I realize it is best to be self honest and to stop and breathe and be here in and as the physical in each moment and to accordingly life one and equal as my body as the physical as a achievement in itself of myself as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief I must use the mind/Machine to achieve physical goals, realizing that the mind that is of alternate realities cannot be trusted, as the mind is not in consideration of the physical in fact but only based on pictures and memories and thoughts/feelings/emotions that is constantly changing and giving different inputs to fuck with oneself and to enslave and limit and thus I realize that the goals I want to achieve physically will always appear more and not achieved within the mind and thus is really useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SCARE my body through imposing the ideas/pictures/beliefs/opinions onto the body and to within this create and manifest anxiety/stress within myself during my daily living and applications as I have scared my body into not looking as the picture in my mind and live in self hatred/judgment/abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief instead of live here in and as the physical.

To be continued