Day 126 – Being Skinny – The Machine Within Part 12

Continuing from Day 115 Part 1 taking quotes and applying Self Forgiveness accordingly.

Self Forgiveness – this I will apply through looking at all the points that I can see within myself that is Still Here as what I am holding onto.

I approach this through breathing and looking at myself and as I breathe I speak the word Skinny – and withing this I see what is here – for instance as I say Skinny I have a reaction towards it, a fear, now what is the fear the fear I see is “lack” – fear that I am lacking something, either within my body that I get in through foods, or through a Belief/idea/opinion and so forth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and idea about skinny being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word skinny that I have judged as bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within self judgment within being skinny and that other will see me as less than.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being less than other being skinny and being a male.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure when someone says I am skinny within the self judgment of “I am small and weak and the skinniness conforms it”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge being a male and being skinny as being weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to be strong and not weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value in strength, realizing that strength is to take what your weakness is and to make it a strength.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to feel vulnerable being a male and being skinny as we live in a world of where the belief exist that the strongest survive, realizing that as long as I belief and live out that being skinny is weak I am supporting such a world where only the strong survive and where the weak is cast out, instead of creating a world where the strong supports the weak and the weak supports the strong to be supportive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear strong people and that they will take advantage of me as bullying me or wanting to fight me or wanting to harm me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being harmed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being physically harmed in a situation where someone physically bigger than me can easily over power me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being physically over powered by another human due to having a reasonable bigger size body then me and that I will be harmed and can not do anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the fear of being harmed physically by another human created and made myself a weapon within and as the mind in such a way that I will harm others first before they can harm me, realizing that within my fear I am actually the only harm around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to other males just because they are bigger than me in their physical designs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other males and to within the comparison within my mind belittle myself and make myself feel less than, realizing that in fact I am not less than them or more but that I am only creating it so within my mind and becoming/living the manifestation of my thoughts/judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to walk this earth as the earth as who i am as the flesh, and to instead search for an image/idea that I preferred all my life befor4e I can walk and breathe, realizing that I do not know the future and that I can for all I know waist my entire life searching and trying to achieve this image before I start to live life as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I will only get rid of the fear I have towards other human being once I achieve the body I belief will give me the confidence I require.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from and as confidence and to seek it outside of myself in a future projection, instead of realizing that I can bring confidence here as WHO I decide to be in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when and as I see/observe other ,ales with well built bodies, that I am not desiring the type of bodies they have for myself, but that I am desiring what they present as having confidence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect confidence to what type of body I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being confident with myself because of the self judgments I have about myself and my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I do not have the right to be confident with myself because of being skinny, realizing that this is a typical pre-programmed design and a result of a consumerism society where the media portray that only “healthy LOOKING” people can be confident and have self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the trap of consumerism where it is presented to the people that only healthy LOOKING people can be confident, creating a world of people that is insecure and do not trust themselves all based on how they look and so Capitalism has created the perfect conditions for consumerism as people will now do anything to look good and healthy to only then have confidence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FALL for the beliefs/ideas/opinions that are portrayed by the media based on a profit driven society where anything and everything will and can be used against you to make profit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach an idea of being skinny as being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attache a negative feeling/emotion to the idea I have about being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge being a skinny male as being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge skinny males as being less than and inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being skinny as being a bad thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about being skinny due to the ideas I have created about being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the idea I have created about being skinny comes from memories and past experiences that I have identified as myself and so created a character for myself as being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shit for being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate me as the body for being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for not gaining weight no matter what I have tried.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have tried everything yet as there is one more option and thta is to make peace with myself as the body and to focus on living as that which is best for all life and to instead be here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when and as I hate myself or being skinny I am actually only feeling powerless to change myself and within feeling powerless I become angry and depressed, instead of breathing and to stop the mind fuck that does not do anything practical for me and only compromises my life as proven through space and time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the feeling of being powerless to change my body and to thus give into depression and anger.

To be continued...