Day 121 – Being Skinny – The Machine Within Part 7.

Continuing from Day 115 Part 1 taking quotes and applying Self Forgiveness accordingly.

Quote 6: “why do I see it as a train – a train symbolizes an object that moves on tracks, a set path and that this object (train) carries lots of people or a delivery load – this is why I see it shows the symbolism of me believing I have to keep moving for others to keep moving in the fear of that if I stop moving others will stop moving because I belief I am responsible for dragging them and also keeping them going.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place the responsibility of others onto myself, realizing that each being is self responsible and so I am self responsible within Who I am as all others, and thus it is who I am that determines what I do and not what I do that determines who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place what I do such as carrying the responsibility of others onto myself within the Idea/belief that it will decide who I am, not realizing that within this I place pressure on myself and what I do and never focusing on myself as who i am, and so put my body through physical stress and anxiety within the belief of what is expected of me to do so that others will also keep moving and not fall.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I work outside such as building things to push my body more and more within the belief/idea that if I push my body physically to its limits others will see what I am doing and within that move themselves more and more as well as motivational point, realizing that within this I am taking others responsibility out of their hands to create and develop self movement for themselves and within this only compromising my body and placing myself under stress, thus I realize it is to move myself according to breathe in and as the physical within consistency and not within physical force and to within the movement as my body as breathe as Who I am be a leading example instead of a forcing movement onto others and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others not moving themselves and to within this fear move myself even more and to harm my body to show them what they must do and be willing to move as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Who I am determines what I do, and thus I can see who I am as moving fear/stress isn’t healthy and not supportive or assisting anyone or myself, and thus I realize it is for me to slow down and to take self responsibility for myself first within and as my movement and so be a example for others where they can see and learn from and move themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look at myself as Who I am and only focus on what others are doing in within this comparison also only focus on what I am doing and not who I am, realizing that this is forming competition within me where I want to move more and better than the rest, so that I can say and tell them, look you are not doing your best as I am and so force them to move more and more as I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others within what I am capable of doing and what they are capable of doing and to within this always wanting to be the best just to not be seen as the others as not doing anything, not moving, not taking self responsibility and being the good guy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within wanting to be the good guy through doing the right thing always, even if it means harming my body and putting my body under stress and anxiety, realizing that the body cannot maintain itself effectively under stress and fear as the body needs to use physical chemicals and energy to generate these two emotions to be experienced which requires my mind to eat from the flesh and so within living this way I actually cause my own skinniness and constant hunger, a hunger for acceptance and gratification from others as being the good guy and to not be classified as the ones that doesn’t do anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others within the fear of being seen as others through their actions and being judged by their actions in a criticized way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being criticized by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as someone useless within others eyes through my application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately act and move in ways to impress others even if it means selling my body as losing weight and being skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my skinniness has a origin and that it is to look within my actions to see who I am and to then deconstruct the actions that I have defined myself as the patterns and to then in reverse re-birth myself where I create myself first as WHO I AM as a self directive decision and to from that as that which is best for all life move myself in oneness and equality as the physical in each breathe as Life.

To be Continued..