Day 120 – Being Skinny – The Machine Within Part 6

Continuing from Day 115 Part 1 taking quotes and applying Self Forgiveness accordingly.

Quote 5: “the belief I see within myself where I have to keep the fire alive within myself to keep these scary heavy metals moving up and down to keep the wheels spinning to keep moving and to keep going forwards.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that I need a Fire as a energetic experience of myself to physically keep me moving, through the self judgment of being skinny I have to compensate for it by being extra energetic to have the same level of power as those with physical bodies that is physically bigger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the mind through imposing Ideas/beliefs/opinions about myself onto myself as a alternate self to generate an energetic experience within myself to force my body to do more – realizing that this leads to tiredness and the body requiring more physical energy to burn into nothingness, and thus eventually take all the fat from the body and even from the muscles to generate energy to power to mind so that the mind can force the body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I have to within being skinny prove myself as still being equally strong as those that isn’t skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must be equally strong as all others within my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must proof to others that my skinny body has hidden powers in strength and durability through pushing my body as the mind with and as energy of the mind burning the physical bodies energy to stimulate the minds energy to force the physical till exhaustion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must keep going and gaining more and more strength, realizing that within this behavior/movement I am creating physical consequences for myself as my body through exhausting my body and its natural resources and so create and manifest a metabolism that also just keep going and going that burns all my physical energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must keep going forwards the whole time within pushing my body till I reach the Idea/belief/opinion within my mind of what I must achieve, realizing that even if I do achieve the Idea/belief/opinion I will simply change it and the chase will continue and never end and within this only trap and enslave myself to the same patterns for a life time till I realize that I am here in and as the physical breathing and moving as the physical and that is what is relevant and living life and not chasing castles in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I push myself to achieve the expectations of the mind through keeping ongoing that I will achieve my desires, realizing that the mind is constantly changing and thus I set myself up for a life time of chasing, thus I realize it is best to be self honest and to stop and breathe and be here in and as the physical in each moment and to accordingly life one and equal as my body as the physical as a achievement in itself of myself as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief I must use the mind/Machine to achieve physical goals, realizing that the mind that is of alternate realities cannot be trusted, as the mind is not in consideration of the physical in fact but only based on pictures and memories and thoughts/feelings/emotions that is constantly changing and giving different inputs to fuck with oneself and to enslave and limit and thus I realize that the goals I want to achieve physically will always appear more and not achieved within the mind and thus is really useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SCARE my body through imposing the ideas/pictures/beliefs/opinions onto the body and to within this create and manifest anxiety/stress within myself during my daily living and applications as I have scared my body into not looking as the picture in my mind and live in self hatred/judgment/abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief instead of live here in and as the physical.

To be continued