Male Ego and the fear relationship SF - Part 2

Continuing from Day 393 - Male Ego and the Fear relationship Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself only when there is energy moving me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe that energy as the Ego which is from the mind as thought/feeling/emotion is required for me to move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only move once I experience some form of energy as the ego which is at its foundation a fear energy/negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move as the ego as fear where fear is being the motivator for me moving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require fear to move, and that I must first experience this fear to be motivated to move, and then out of fear create an Ego which is a cycle of patterns that will always ensure fear to exist within my life so that I can always be motivated to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as and participate within a polarity construct where I create the negative to achieve the positive and to always go back to the negative to motivate myself again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this polarity construct a “norm” within my life, where I believe it is the only way I can move myself, and to within this always experience myself as fear as negativity, to then as the ego create positivity from using the negativity as a motivator to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create fear within me as a constant experience as myself as a way to keep myself fueled and ready to act/move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build trust within fear as my motivator because of the perception that I have that it has always worked, because I am still here and breathing so fear must have helped me, seeing and realizing that when I look back, all that has ever happened was is that I kept myself in one place, I built a prison for myself to never truly live and to be life and to grow and move forwards, as the fear functions in a way where I have to fall back all the time to be able to re-create the fear to use it again as a motivator, no matter how many times I overcome it or walk through it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that Fear within itself is Nothing, it is a energy/experience and not an actal movement, and that the movement comes from me only, seeing and realizing that if I experience Fear and then move myself or don’t move myself, that it isnt the fear doing it, it is in fact the physical movements/actions, and that when fear is removed, then the actions can still remain, and then the actions isnt reactions which is a compromise, I can actually consider the next move or be clear within my movements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see that fear is passive energy, and that it requires the physical to move, which means fear is really useless and only makes me feel shit the whole time, experience myself shit the whole time, which then leads to me physically moving myself either way into positive or negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make fear this big power within me and giving it this extraordinary power within my imagination, seeing and realizing that in reality fear has and is nothing unless the physical moves and follow on the fear, and even if the fear isn’t there, the physical can still move the same, and thus fear is only a Prison of self within the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when I use fear as the ego to move me to be my motivator, that I am conditioning myself within a vicious cycle of self-abuse, where I beat myself up within always scaring myself and literally bringing myself down within myself just so that I can get to a point of being motivated again and do it all over again and so the cycle continues.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the experience of fear and how I use that fear to motivate me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and have defined myself as being “unable” to move myself without fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot exist without the ego, as I have defined everything about me as the ego as fear in every way of my being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear living without the ego/fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem myself as unable to live without fear/ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I have no fear that I will not know how or when to move myself – seeing and realizing that I have always only moved myself within self-interest as the fear only existed for and as my self-interest and thus once I stop the fear, I will lose self-interest within fear and thus I can start moving myself within what is best for all life as myself and that requires common sense and not fear to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear not being able to move myself from a starting point of self-direction in alignment to what is Best for All and within that fear of ‘not being able to’, allow myself to only move myself within and from fear – not seeing and realizing that within doing so I am already failing myself and thus really have nothing to lose and should just go ahead and take that step of letting go of the fear and unconditionally walk the process of aligning my self-movement and self-direction to that which is Best for All as I see, realize and understand that I have nothing to lose but only to gain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that If I do not fear everything in my life that I will not be able to control my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I ever had any control of my life when fear – the ego - has always been in control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have been controlling my life with fear, not seeing and realizing that fear has been controlling EVERYTHING within my life and that I have always only been the puppet doing what the fears tell me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to do what my fear/ego tells me to do or I will face my fears coming true, not seeing and realizing that when I follow what my fear shows me or tells me that I am actually slowly creating and making my fears real, when all they ever did was exist within my mind and now I am actually playing out scenarios following the fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot exist without fear and that I will always have an energy experience within me, not seeing it possible to end EGO/fear and to live as the physical breathing one and equal moving self within self-honesty and common sense – seeing and realizing that this is yet again the ego creating a fearful cycle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not se that in the past there was moments/times that I did not have any fear and that this is proof to me that I can axist without fear and that fear isn’t necessary, seeing and realizing that fear is something that was taught to me and shown to me within how the world as a whole exists and within how I was raised and taight by those that has gone before me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself to fear, and to ignore the proof of the past that I do not need to be conditioned within fear as I have as a child lived without fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I am Fueling myself up with fear/ego as energy, that that fuel must come from somewhere – and just like how we are fucking up the earth body we live on through seeking out oil and all energy sources, so am I doing the same with my body, using real natural resources to create temporary fuel just to survive – live as fear.