Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Day – 208 – I always have a frown Part 3

Day – 206 – I always have a frown Part  1
Day – 207 – I always have a frown Part 2

Today I had the opportunity to see my frown come out, I was waiting at a university for people who were writing exams for more than an hour outside, I was basically standing around with lots of people moving and out and also standing around.
While I was standing there breathing and practicing standing straight I did want to sit down a few times, there was no benches, it is really weird though, so as I was standing around and all the people around me was looking at me and being really busy in their own conversations, I did not have anyone to talk with, it was just me and myself.

Within standing I could see what thoughts came up, and what back chat and judgments and in the same process how my body changes while all of this is happening.

This is when I noticed the frown, I was standing outside and I was getting comfortable with everyone around me, and everyone around me was getting comfortable with me, but every now and again someone new would come into this comfort zone where everyone else has already familiarized themselves with each other and has established a green light (safety) there is no one being a threat.

But this new person that came in every now and again was first immediately seen as a threat – the threat was that will this person disturb the peace and safety everyone else has established, so as the person enters the area I have a frown, I am intimidating and testing the other person to check if I win and if he gives in to me being the Alfa there, am I the dominant one here that will stay dominant and keep the peace and safety.

Maybe we have to fight this out - lol

But this frown does not work, because now the other person also feels he has to frown and put on this mask of being though and dominant and an alpha, so he has to intimidate back, this only creates friction and conflict, so I realized this quite quickly and I lifted up my eye brows.

As I lifted my eye brown the entire personality/characters that was activated within the frown also stopped, I breathed and I focused on breathing and to not go into the automatic frown.

As I did this and I eyes opened and I could see reality again and not just my fear/insecurities within the mind I could see what is real and what not, so as I did this I saw the other guy started yawning, he probably yawned for 15 minutes every 10 seconds, this was quite interesting to see, because before all this I was his attention and he was my attention and there was tension and competition and as I stop, suddenly the Mind does not know what to do.

Because as I relaxed everyone else around me relaxed.

So here opened up a few pointers on the frown and to actually see it in action.

To be continued.

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