Forcefulness and Fear

As I am staying and moving in with Kelly and Adrian on their land here in Panama, which is surrounded by rivers and forests all around. I have been going into the wild for a few hours a day, something I have never been able to do. Even living on the Desteni Farm in South-Africa, there wasn’t really WILD nature around.

With this, I have been able to go to the woods/rivers and just BE HERE, breathing. Yet, I know as this is a new environment I have to be aware of the wildlife I am unfamiliar with, as most frogs and snakes here are poisonous and who knows what else. I am still learning.

This combination of me placing the direction and commitment for myself on what I am living in the wild with the wild being here I am accessing a very interesting part of myself, a part that has become automatic in the sense of survival/fear responses.

I know in South-Africa with the high crime/rape/murder there I had this point as an obvious point within me, but now that it is not with me any more, I feel I am reaching deeper roots of this point within me, I was looking at it while being by the river and I kind of named it for myself as the ancient fear - where humans generally could not just live with nature, unlike wild animals, we had to make shelter and weapons and all kinds of things that lead to where we are now, we have always felt inferior to nature and thus FORCED our way onto and through this earth by ravaging nature, destroying it just to feel secure and safe from the wild animals, and thus came full circle to humans now fearing themselves the most and what we do to ourselves, as nature is kind of out of the way right.

My experience in particular was strange, catching the ever so slight thoughts of destruction within me while being in this beautiful, peaceful environment coming up in a seemingly random moment. I was sitting on a rock in the middle of the river, the rock was smooth and big, so I wanted to lay on it, but there was this one piece of grass that somehow against all odds grew on this rock in a crack, and I caught myself with a thought of ripping it out and throwing it away into the water, as only then I would find this rock perfect and clean/safe, forcing my way onto the environment.

I stopped myself, I breathed and I asked for forgiveness for this piece of grass, and instead I saw myself in the grass growing there on this rock. I said to the grass, look at you, you grew here, look at me, I am also here but I only want to diminish you and myself. I then embraced myself as that piece of grass and sat with it on the rock, right next to it.

As I stood up from the rock, not having lived out this forcefulness towards this piece of grass sharing this rock with me as I was the visitor there, I noticed this more and more, I found myself with a stick in my hand and two rocks in my pocket, I saw then how my behaviour of having the stick and two rocks was to HARM, thus force my way onto nature, as the reason I had the stick and two rocks was for my protection right? In case there is a snake or a wild animal lurking in the forest surrounding me. Now, yes it can be practical in case there is a snake I can use the stick to move it, or the rocks to chase an animal off. BUT this post is not focussed on the practical side of this, it is to see what MOVED within me, as the starting point matters as that will determine my action in an unexpected moment.

I then took the two rocks out of my pocket and I put them down, I then took the stick and placed it down. I then had a moment of wondering/looking at the point for myself. Here I am in nature, it is SOO calm and peaceful, it is amazing, the sounds and the feeling of the place as the wind, fresh air, all is good, and I found myself being the ONLY threat there which was scary to see me in that moment, a complete system of fear and paranoia manifested as a justification of self-survival/defence, yet whit just me being who i am in the first, I am the only one there placing everything else in defensive mode, as they all need to now protect themselves from me, THUS my very starting point in who I am in the forest is thus making everything else dangerous.

I got up after putting my weapons down, I stood still for a moment taking in the fresh air and I said to myself, OK Gian, now, stop the mind, and be HERE in breathe moving one step at a time, do not consistently look around, following every small sound, or going into my mind of what is something jumps out of the bushes, and I started moving forward further down the river and the trees, I then started feeling my body relax, I then started feeling in tune so to say with my environment, I then started feeling actually aware of my environment without having to use my eyes and ears the whole time. I had to embrace a TRUST within me and so start resonating that trust into my environment as who I am.

This was a test for me on a personal level, and I would not recommend everyone doing it considering now the practical side of things and your environment, yet the point stands to always check WHO AM I and to look to the small things we stop that is forceful, catching those thoughts that rush through our head and places us into survival and fear/paranoia that leads to us becoming exactly what we fear and miss out on a whole different level of existence for ourselves and others that is possible.

I went much further, as I saw this point in a simple point such as going on a relaxed walk into the forest, I took the signature and I pulled it all the way into my life, my relationships and movement in my reality, my creation points, seeing where am I in this forcefulness, realizing it is not working, it is to be HERE, breathe and move myself as myself as expression from me, not something outside of me.

What Happens JUST As You Are About To Transcend

This is an awkward little blog of mine, on a point I do not share to much of, transcending, what a BIG word. What does this word mean even? the context of this word is not within words, it is within the living of self as words, as the living word. 

What the fuck does that mean? If the answer was complicated I might have been able to explain it to you in detail, unfortunately the answer is simple and so it can not be explained to you. See, simplicity complicates the MIND only, because the mind seeks complications and functions on things being complicated, it keeps the mind stimulated with complaining all the time. The answer should be within this paragraph to what the path and key is to transcend, but again, the mind will want to LOOK and FIND a key to this, even when the word itself is not understood, yet even if you seek to understand the word you will only find knowledge, and so already it is complicated. 

Here is the thing, just before you are about to Transcend, thus living change in every breathe, you quickly go and fuck around, just one last time, just this one more time around, just before transcending the mind and expressing self as life/living here in each breathe as all life, you must quickly have that last drink, that last smoke, that last drug hit, that last party, that last taste of porn and masturbation, that last argument, that last conversation that is pointless, that last reaction, that last say, that last opinion, that last moment of entertaining the mind essentially, and then you are way back at the bottom, because YOU saw, damn, transcending myself as life is actually simple, it is HERE as me, in my grasp, so why do it now? 

Why be silent now when I know it is HERE, why give up my addictions, my habits, my self believes, my self definitions, why give up the MIND now, when I can see it is so easy, I am right at the door of doing this, I might as well come back later, I mean, why not? it is right here, not going anywhere right??. 

Before I transcend, before I stand as myself as life here in every breathe, I MUST get the last fix, the last experience, but as usual, I know it just keeps on going on, to such an extent that I even later on forget that there is a door right here to transcend me as life, I get lost in the habits, the addictions, the routines, the dullness of my mind participation in self entertainment/stimulation, no matter what form that self entertainment is, may it be political, environmental, or just plain myself and my life, my relationships, my shit essentially. 

I once explained to someone, we are all born the same, we are of the essence of life, we are the same in the substance as life, we always have access to this life that is HERE, we do not lose it, we simply keep pulling curtains over it, as we know it is right there/here, It is actually so easy to be silent, to stop, to be with self and to be here, dropping everything within self, yet the mind as stated before, loves complications, and as much as you would like a complicated answer and method to transcend life, it does not exist, it only exist in the mind, that is what is complicated. The same way the system we live in reflects how we live within, it has complicated systems that creates complicated problems so that the people/self that wants control have enough complications to hide behind, what do you hide? Your own corruption and the things you get away with, the shit you want to get away with, just like how people in power and normal tax payers get away with shit, by using and implementing a complicated system, if it was simple, then well you are fucked and can not hide shit. simple as that. Oh yes, I am over simplifying everything in this post, a great argument for not changing and seeing directly what is here and requires change as SELF and so as the system. 

Where is the blog post going? at this point it is getting complicated, because that way the value seems more, just like how we like to over complicate everything in this world to give it value, losing the inherent value everything has as LIFE substance, within which we are all equal regardless of anything else. Stock markets? how money works? look it is made so complicated, and only if you LEARN to understand it do you have value and get equal value back, apparently, but that's also just a scam like this system over all, so if you can not deceive and manipulate and learn to fuck others over, you do not have value as a human, just look at how simple you are, just a gardener or a sewage cleaner, or waste remover, your value is nothing right?

Simplicity is seeing that health is not in the hospitals you have and the amount of doctors you have that specializes in everything, it is to see a healthy EARTH and thus food, water and air prevents all of that from being necessary to a HIGH degree, and obviously ALL life to have equal access to the resources instead of fighting, killing and murdering each other for it = SHARE and CARE, and taking care of the earth is pretty simple, as it works naturally with itself and everything on it, unlike us humans. We have already over complicated EVERYTHING, just like we do with our very selves, our relationships, everything personal and in the greater picture.

Back to the point, take a look, you most probably have had that moment or moments in your life, where you are, not experiencing BLISS, that is a fuckup too, but you are experiencing YOURSELF as all life, here directive as self in each moment/breath, where you SEE yourself change, where you SEE the best version of YOU in who you are in a moment within what is here as life is here currently to bring about a best version of life as you do for YOURSELF considering all life, then you fuck it up in a few minutes, right after that, like because you could see it, it is too good to be true, it can not be that simple, yet you KNOW, so you turn away, you move away, you go back to the old habits, and sometimes even diminish yourself even more, put yourself back in "your place" even more, you do not deserve to change and be your best version as you keep lying to yourself and selling yourself false images and likenesses, and so we can always wonder why the world and the earth is not achieving it's best version, we keep screaming, we keep yelling, we keep wondering, why is everything getting worse, we can sell ourselves the tickets that this ride is getting worse to getting better, but ask yourself, when you see the BEST version of you in a here moment, the breathe moment, do you BREATHE and stand up and walk as that version and do not accept anything less than that?

Regardless of what is required of you to walk through, to changing in your LIVING as your habits and patterns, you do it because YOU believe in your self as the best version of yourself? most likely not, a simple emotion that makes you feel bad, a thought, anything turns you back to the old asap, so why would the world be any different? the governments, the politicians? the system we live in? no one wants to transcend, even it it is RIGHT in our faces and we have seen it, the possibility in ourselves and so this world.

Do you live your best version? transcending YOU.

In Times of Confusion - look left then Right, then ask, what is left that is right? LOL

I have had several people come to me in the past month asking me, Gian, as a Desteni Farm member, I need some input on what is happening in the world.

I have attempted to  explain to two people what I see, and how I am approaching what is happening in the world. Now, a point I want to clarify is, I was a Desteni Farm member, the Desteni Farm does not exist anymore. So I am now a Desteni Member. Sure, I have input that not many others had the opportunity to have, I lived with Bernard and the Portal and other amazing people, pushing and living day in and day out Desteni, not just as a Destonian, but as a core member pushing and growing and standing as a farm member that supported and assist others who came to visit, giving up a lot of the system life and integration process to stand as what I/we did, but now I am in the system like anyone else, basically starting from scratch, as if I am 18 years old and fresh out of school. My life as Desteni, the Desteni farm, and what strange a time to enter the system, just as all shit started hitting the fan, and yes shit hitting the fan is slow, not all at once.

That is all over. What remains is quit simple, and it is DESTENI and the people that walk this process for and as themselves as Destonians, as equals, when we walk as equals we have a group of individuals standing together and one within what is best for all life as one body. 

I now have a regular job to have income, I am not supported by the "Desteni farm" and within this still stand as a Desteni member supporting and assisting the movement of Desteni, through my process as who I am, my blogs, my vlogs and Earth Haven. I am pushing to make Earth Haven my core focus as a Desteni member and pushing for a new farm land to start projects, but it all takes time and requires others support, like any business in this world.

As a former Desteni Farm member and now simply a Desteni Member, what is happening in the world? 

For me this is a relevant question, but to a degree very irrelevant when we consider all things can only change and move a certain direction based on who I am as an individual and so who you are as an individual, and so within this when someone asks me this question I rather ask, what are you doing within all of this? who are you within all of this? because that is what is going to matter and what is deciding what is happening in this world.  Are you a MIND entity, or are you LIFE?

Are you writing? are you applying self-forgiveness? are you in anyway participating in the DESTENI group events or community, such as the forum, or the group chats? are you living the principles? what is the point of asking me as a "Desteni farm Member" what is happening in the world, when I can not and have not even seen what is happening in your life or within you through you participation with and as Desteni? on a regular bases.

I ask this because the people that come to me asking these questions, I do not even know who they are, as if I Gian as a Desteni farm member must know, must have a direction and thus MUST share it with them lol, yet, showing what is happening in this world everywhere, everyone is demanding answers, everyone is demanding change, everyone is demanding that others give direction and solutions, yet they themselves is seen nowhere applying a solution, not even in their own lives and less to say within themselves and WHO THEY ARE as humans, as the nature they have accepted and allowed themselves to exist as, as the mind as energy, so what answers and SOLUTIONS are you demanding when you are demanding them from a MIND Organic Robot? not really solutions yet. Now, not saying all, probably like the covid-19 virus, only 0.001% of people are applying individual change, the rest do not get infected with this part of change yet.

So, I will not communicate with people/individuals through private messages or even some requesting I do private video calls with them, NO, I will not, unless I see your ass somewhere applying something, even if it is just sharing one blog a month of you showing that you understand DESTENI first of all, before requesting a Desteni Farm Member to answer your questions and give you time. Because what are you doing within this direction if you yourself are not even anywhere to be seen as a Desteonian? 

You are once again placing the responsibility onto another to answer to what is happening in this world, and so what ever I say will either satisfy you or not, but either way I will be blamed for my answers if it does or does not fit your world view and understanding. It is even more dangerous, because you who asks me to answer your questions, have not spend the TIME to see or even know that all has been shared, it is all in Desteni message, on the forums, in Bernard Poolmans videos, it is not complicated, it is all there, yet asking me only reveals self, not actually having grasp what has been said, laid out and the process ahead, the cycles or even seeing that the solution has been shared for this life time, YES, the solution to even today's problems has been shared, why wonder what is happening in this world when you can simply live the solution and trust that solution as yourself? why get distracted, that is the whole point the system will attempt to do, distract you from YOU, the solution, and so when all individuals are distracted who has and know the solution, then there is no group moving as individuals as equals within the same principles, it is all scattered and lost. 

2020 is the year it is TOO LATE, and we are TOO LATE, yet the solution is still here, as long as you can read this and are reading this. It is simply too late for HOPE, there is no more hope, now it is to live the solution as self in each breathe as life as what is best for all life, and so as individuals standing the same we walk as one, and to accumulate the principle faster and faster and so a solution is naturally born, through changing the nature of man. 

Many people are already awakening, without Desteni and the Desteni message, so do not see this as something that is exclusive, Desteni is simply a matter of taking the change into your hands, the process given, the solution given and walking it deliberately, as that quantify the process for all to change. 

What is happening in the world? I can give you my insights, but I will not for this post. As my answers at this point can only be a distraction. I will make a private video for Earth Haven in time to come on my insights for the members only, I feel there it can be directed more effectively. I do not have magical insight, simply 1+1 insights. Even I find my own insight, and the predictions I have made in the last few years that came true based on Math and dreams I had (only shared it with people close to me). Seems useless as long as WHO I AM and WHO YOU ARE isn't aligned in directing anything. 

Stop looking outwards FIRST, make the journey inwards and your Self-Honesty and SEEING reality beyond your brainwashing will step forth, you will not feel lost then, but rather know your direction as self as what is best for all within who you are. 

We still have a LONG way to go, as the next 7 years as I see it, will be 7 years of consequences, where everything, all rights and wrongs, all the moralities, laws and rules of this world will collide, the past and the present and the future, for the next 7 years this will all mix and mingle, and there will be only one outcome, this one outcome is not yet decided, the outcome will take place again in a cycle of 7 years from 2027 till 2034... For now, let everything go into chaos, chaos is where good an evil as the polarity design of this reality we exist in mix and the fine lines become unclear, and this is where we must stand as what is best for all, to define and create the new RIGHT and WRONG, where what is best for all life is the NEW right, and what is not best for all life is the new wrong, and thus ending polarity, the past.

This will not come by magically. It will be a real hard physical process, and for all those who can SEE and HEAR, not what the media is telling you, not what is on social media, or what is in the gossiping circles, NO, what is within self as self-honesty hearing self as life, that is where real standing and change will come by, then the question is, do you have the WILL to not be distracted, no matter how tempting, to remain in breathe as LIFE and to stand as what is best for all regardless when a polarity is thrown at you with a system morality judgement? 

Those who will stand together in silence as life will stand as the new direction together, those who stand outside the mess, in this world but not of this world, and thus stand by what is best for all life in thought/word and deed, not moved by the temptations of the flesh and remain steadfast in the new world that is best for all, shall be the way and the light. I am done rambling.

Blame Self-Forgiveness

Blame Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is validity in blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT understand blame, the construct of blame, what blame really is, yet use it , spread it around like normal, as if it is simply a normal thing to do, to place everything outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEED the mind consciousness system of BLAME through not only participating in it consciously, but to live it without question sub-consciously and unconsciously in my daily living in small and big situations as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to SEE and realize that when and as another person, thing or situation comes into my mind when I am looking at a point in my life, when I am looking at my life, my situation in life, my circumstances in life, that the very fact that something else came up first instead of me asking myself questions, looking at myself first, I am already blaming, deflecting, taking self-responsibility away from myself and making something/someone else a target to blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR owning myself, my actions, my words, my deeds, my thoughts, even when two or more is involved in a situation, my life or in this world, as all is connected, yet I am always responsible for me and who i am within me and thus can not be blamed onto someone else, as that resolves nothing but only creates cycles of blame and victims forevermore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create MORALITY within what BLAME is or what is it NOT, where in my mind I go into the polarity of, OK so I must never confront, or stand up or take a stand for something to stop blaming, or I must keep blaming and can not stop blaming until that something else is sorted, where I am now again accessing a polarity, instead of seeing and realizing that ACTION does not require BLAME or a polarity, it does not require SIDES, it simply requires self to be silence within, and to stand within what is BEST for ALL as a principle of guidance, as I as self stopped blame, and so I do not see sides, I only see me, who I am and who I am standing as what is best for all life, no matter the situation, I must be clear to have a clear new direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to CREATE polarity out of everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself FEED off BLAME, to FEEL powerful within blaming, especially when my BLAME game is top stuff, where I can win and over power another with my blame, where my arguments are logical, it makes sense and forces the other person to change, but I get away with remaining the same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ENJOY pointing fingers in all directions as BLAME, pointing out everything, all the details, all the points for the others to see, so that I point so much that in the end I point out the eyes of the other person and all they can see is their BAD evil sins, how they are responsible for everything and that I am such a victim, I do not have to do anything, they must now do everything and they have NO way of pointing anything back at me, as I have made sure, with all the POINTING of fingers they were blinded to see my shit, and eventually even not I can see my own shit anymore, and so can not see, they are overwhelmed with what was pointed out, so I am safe, I can get away, I am okay, I made it, I can now just again sit and do nothing.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how and when I react to another person, I am BLAMING, and so not seeing and realizing how INSTANT blame is activated and how instantly we place ourselves/myself in a victim state, where someone else can MAKE me experience something, and so I get frustrated, hate, angry, irritated, name it all towards that person, and so in essence saying, YOU made me experience that, you are to blame, you made me do it, not taking full responsibility for the fact that what I experience and that comes up within ME is inherently mine/ours, as it came from within self/me and nowhere else, the other person, people simply showed me what exist within me already, which is the point I must deal with, stop and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the LIVING and acting of blame within myself, my environment and how I conduct myself daily within who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how LIVING blame isn’t a conscious decision, but rather a living action in my patterns and habits, where I live in a consistent state of blaming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to be in a MOOD is a living form of blame. Where I will live in a mood, how I feel, towards my environment as if I am saying/telling my environment YOU are the problem, LOOK how I am experiencing myself, and so within this living action dictate my day, my time, my environment to be that of being against me, attacking me, not working for me, nothing is right, placing myself in a consistent state of being a victim within myself. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as long as I am moved/directed by my environment in ways that places me in a mood, a reaction, a friction within me, that I am within a BLAMING personality, where I am literally walking around, waiting for something to activate me to react towards, to go into a state of blaming, being angry at someone or something, feeling that I am not considered or taken into account, like whatever is happening has always happened and at this point I am not the problem anymore but everyone else is, and so access that mind set where I start attacking my environment, the people, the things, the circumstances and making everything a problem outside of me, not seeing and realizing that it all comes from within me and I am forcing what exist within me onto my environment as blame, instead of seeing, OK, this is a repeating pattern, or something that keeps happening, and what is the coincidence that it always happens with ME, I must obviously be the point of origin and need to look at what I must change and take responsibility for, take action for in a directive way that correct and aligns points to what is best for all, such as communicate, talk, find practical solutions and come to agreements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use blame as a way to justify my actions, my responses, my movements as my habits and patterns that I am struggling with to change, instead of admitting what I am struggling with and changing that part.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to ASK for help due to feeling that I am all alone, that I have no one that can understand me or give me the right guidance, and so already go into BLAME, where I blame everyone else for not understanding me, not seeing me, not being able to support me if I need support in the right way, and so already enhance a cycle that will never end unless I end it, till i stand up from it and take self-responsibility, as I see and realize that within such a cycle, dis-empower EVERYONE and myself and so make nothing possible for myself or anyone, except to be LAME.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize how deep BLAME goes, where I will LIVE blame in such a way that I can not even see it, I am it, it is me as a living entity and I can reason and justify myself as blame to such an extent that I can make myself and other believe that what I am saying is TRUTH, as I will take common points of self-victimization that I know exist within myself and others and so use it to create a massive bubble of blame, where the problems in my life and their lives suddenly are external, it suddenly is outside of themselves and so it must be true, because look, we can all agree on it, and so within this, the self interest that I gain is simple, to not have to change who I am, I may remain the same and in my bubble of being victim, where I do not have to really do any work, self work, where I do not have to focus on WHO I AM, as I have now externalized the problem to such an extent that to even try and now move back inwards it will seem as if I am betraying everyone else, and even feel so for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the easy way out where I can just BLAME everyone and everything around me, before even looking inwards, before looking within myself and asking myself basic questions, did I do everything in my power, my creative mind to change myself, to see where I can change and what i can change, did I put in the steps to change, the WILL to change, and if i can tick off all of those boxes in full self-honesty, then may I question the outside and get feedback and so work first inwards and then outwards, as I see and realize to work outwards first can and will create a trap where moving back inwards can become impossible to even see, as I lose myself in the mess I create and that can be created within BLAMING

Porn and Masturbation - A POOR nature

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
A Perspective on Porn and Masturbation

It all starts with self-judgement, the path to watching porn and masturbating to it. Then it leads into addiction, possibly. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, if it is pure and clear, NO images, no thoughts. Yet, to get to that, and to end the abuse of porn I am going to share some perspective and insights.

Porn isn’t about you just sitting down, or standing, or laying and watching images and videos or others having intercourse. Porn is how you SEE yourself within yourself, within your mind, as the self-judgements you have of yourself, of your physical FORM, your body and how you define and value yourself based on IMAGES as the FORM of your body.

You see, when you watch porn you are doing something strange, you are taking YOU as who you believe yourself to be and placing yourself in your mind in the scenario of the porn you are watching, this self that you are projecting can either be a negative or positive self, it does not matter, the self you are placing of yourself in the scenario of watching porn is thus self-judgement.

The point of watching porn becomes about generating energy, a feeling or emotion, a HIGH within your mind, again it does not matter if it is positive or negative, the mind thrives off energy and mining the body of it’s resources (the physical substance of self) to create an experience, this experience is always about integrating and confirming ones own self-judgments, does not matter if it is positive or negative, as long as there is a confirmation of THIS IS WHO I AM.

Now, playing with the sounding and word PORN, we can see it comes already from when we were BORN, and the quality of this world/life is that of POOR(N), this poor life quality isn’t referring to actual poverty of which 3,5 billion people suffer from in this world, this poor quality is that of the human, which is JUDGEMENT, we are born into a world that ensured and enhances judgement towards one another on a consistent bases daily.

The judgements we have towards ourselves and one another is PICTURE based. It starts with our parents who was influenced and judged by their parents, and so on, where PARENTS will define and judge their children based on their physical form (their genetics).

We all know for a fact that our parents judged us, they would say things like you have a pretty face, you are beautiful, you are unique, you are fat, you are overweight, you need to lose some weight, you need to eat more, you need to do something better with your hair, the men are going to love you, the girls are going to fall at your feet, you are such a sweet person. You must dress better, you must get a tan – I mean, the comments and input on our physical appearances and our physical FORM from our parents/family members, then society since we were born is NON-STOP.

Later on in life, we find ourselves with a voice of immense self-judgment running rampant in our heads, this voice blabbers as our parents, our family members and society on and on inside ourselves, constantly judging ourselves and others, always VALUING the FORMS/BODIES we see around us, who is sexy and who is ugly, always using ourselves as a reference of self-judgement.  

Thus we become walking PORN producers.

Why do I say that? Why do we become walking porn producers? Why did our parents care about our looks? Why did our parents and family members and society JUDGE us and still do based on our physical forms/bodies? Because when you are born, you have no clue what this world is about. Yet our parents already knew, it is all about SEX and MONEY, you need to be sexy/hot to get a partner, or make money to get sex/children/family, to be secure and you need to be able to get a JOB, so our parents start early on preparing us by making sure we KNOW our place, based on how we LOOK, do we have pretty eyes? A sexy jawline? A good-looking ass? Big boobs or small boobs? Our parents made sure we know our strengths and weaknesses of our genetic bodies given to us by them (for which we had no choice of), through constantly judging us and defining us, dressing us up, placing images onto us and making our physical FORM given to us by genetic, VERY personal, as if it defines who we are.

NOW. Here is the dark side of how it is all done in MOST cases, hidden, secretively, very manipulatively, our parents and society will not come up to us as children and tell us straight up, this world is fucked up, you MUST succeed in SEX and MONEY, because that is what rules this world, because that is admitting to your children that this world is not as great, it is ruled by sex and money, what a wonderful world. So it will be done through parents/family and society HINTING, commenting, and SHOWING you images over and over, mom will say, you look so pretty in that dress, or ugg that is an ugly dress, or wow you look amazing in that shirt, or you need to lose some weight, or the guys will see you as a slut – I am going to leave this part to you to look at your life and all the comments your dad or mom or uncle or aunt or other people have ever thrown at you, then go further, LOOK at the magazines, TV, movies, I mean it is a consistent impulsing system of creating and valuing the FORM/BODY of the human as an IMAGE/sexual object, and all of this mostly happens to you and is impulsed to you by the age of 7, most of it. Thus, it is all in the sub-conscious mind, and forgotten as thoughts, by the time it is in the sub-conscious, it is you now living it, thus by the time you turn thirteen, the teenager stage, you start really bringing it all out in many different ways.

 

So, this POOR that PORN is exposing is a form of LACKING – thus why do you watch PORN? Why go there? Because you believe you are LACKING!! That is what this system impulses and also actually exist as, as it is always survival for 90% of humanity, no abundance, and thus the need to make everyone a sex object for money, or money objects for sex, either way, that is the symbolism for the porn industry, absolute abuse, which we are living as ourselves in our own minds towards ourselves and others, by simply walking in the park, or walking around a mall. We are constantly porn producers in our minds towards each other.

We abuse each other every day through walking around and JUDGING ourselves first and foremost as either pretty or ugly and all the other ways we do this to ourselves, in all our own manners (this part is again for you to look at), or in-between, and thus doing so onto others consistently, and we do it through the cause of SEX, because we want to find a partner, and thus money and security, why else would anyone judge their own appearance? It always leads to sex, or money. Just what the porn industry all about in a very direct way, and thus also exposes the abuse we all do to ourselves and each other.

So, each time you are about to abuse yourself through watching porn (because now you know it is from a form of LACKING) and thus by watching and masturbating to porn, all you are doing is confirming and compounding and impulsing, I AM LACKING, and thus telling yourself I can not change, I am doomed to this life, I am doomed to my situation, I am too ugly, or I am too sexy, I can not do this, I want to keep doing this, either way, no matter if positive or negative, it is feeding the same system of lacking, THIS WORLD and how we define and value and place ourselves within ourselves and thus this world. And when we feel and keep this believe of I am lacking alive in ourselves, we are much more likely to accept and allow abuse in our lives and this world, because a person with a value system constantly validating the LACK of self, will not care too much about others. Because you do not care for yourself.

Why do you think child pornography is so extensive? Why is abusive porn so extensive? Why is there porn of all kinds of abusive things existent in this world? It is because people will watch porn, search for that specific porn they FEEL they can connect to, just to confirm to themselves, YES I am lacking, I am missing something, and all you have to do to stop this abuse is, forgive yourself and change your own self-definition to that of LIFE, your own value not based on images/looks and money, stop child sex trafficking, stop the abuse inside yourself that you have accepted and allowed as JUDGEMENT towards yourself and others, and end sexual abuse n this world starting with yourself, once we all value ourselves as LIFE, not as images, we can stand together for a new system that values LIFE.

You might think you are GAINING something watching and masturbating to porn, a release maybe? But this is not the case.

Join me at Earth Haven, Lets create an awesome online community and a Physical Earth Haven community where we can start impulsing the right stuff. www.patreon.com/earthhaven Join us with solutions.

C O N T R O L

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being controlled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Desire control over certain things/people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that any attempt to control others is me controlling only myself and e3nslaving myself to that control system one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear LOSING the control I believe I have, where I fear if I lose control that everything will be lost, gone, that all I have worked so hard for will be for nothing, seeing and realizing that all I fear is me and who I will be, thus I see and realize that I can choose/decide who I am no matter what happens and thus I can let go of control, allow flow, allow things to grow, allow processes to move and unfold where I am or can not directly have an impact, or say, and so focus on me my living here and directing myself as water do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that to want to control is to confirm one’s fear, thus control is a direct form of fearful living, where I will approach situations or people with control out of fear, instead of approaching people or situations simply with common sense and to be open to receive, to learn, to give, to teach equal and one where all is considered and thus no control is required.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to control things/others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that control is a coping mechanism, as to come with what is here, versus finding a real solution.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that CONTROL is a form of avoidance, where I control things in my environment as to avoid reactions, to avoid parts of myself within myself that I do not like to face, take on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to control and to be able to control something is power, not seeing and realizing that within placing control onto others/myself I enslave myself and others to a certain way things are, and so must always be in a certain MODE of control, enslaving myself to a character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that I must CHANGE myself, come to agreements and implement principle living where control becomes obsolete, renders it useless in the mind, where I live like water, water can not be controlled it will flow, rain, vaporize, it will find a way to move and direct itself to be life giving, as the principle and agreement of water is life giving and so always move to do that, nothing more and nothing less, and any imbalance within that does not require more control, as it is impossible, but rather solutions/corrections within the principle for the flow of life to be here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control the outcome of something, as I have come to believe that my way is the right way, and no one else is to be trusted, or can be trusted. THUS creating distrust and so the opposite of the desired outcome, as all control is lost through only distrust being acted on in the disguise of control. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I believe I have control over something, over people and a direction within how things are moving, to feel powerful, to feel like things are getting done, to feel that things are finally moving forward, only to find out that control is a moment, and eventually the truth comes to the surface that control is not possible, and so go into a polarity of I am failing, everything is falling backwards, nothing is working out, and so within that lose control within me and my direction, as I find it was a house of cards built upon illusions as control.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to misdirect control as to create the illusion of change only to maintain control, only postpone the inevitable, only prolong the process of LIFE that needs to flow, that needs to move, and only through allowing the water to flow and to reach it’s destination, it must be let lose, as it will become swampy, contaminated if it only sits still in the same pond, not moving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of self-control and to let myself live, to be. To express without fear of what others will think of me or how they will judge me, and so allow my waters to flow, to grow to find their ways to HERE, to stop controlling me to be a certain way in fear of what others will think, as I see and realize it is about me and my living, who I am and allowing myself to see myself, especially when I move, when my waters move, when I can grow and give as I have received as water does and do.

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that living by the principle of what is best for all life in all ways naturally renders control useless, as principle living is who I am, and thus I do not have to control who I am.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself to flow, to move, to grow and to focus on myself, to let my self-control go, my moralities, to trust my principle in living as water trust itself to be water, life giving, and therefore no control needed, not a one way or a certain way, I must be the way as the movement as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as someone comes to challenge me, what I am doing, or parts of me, to immediately move into control, to control the situation, instead of allowing it to flow all the way, to flush out the waters that isn't needed, to trust the moment that is challenging me to stir the waters to remove any impurities, and so seeing that in such moment I must breathe, I must focus on what is presented within me, find the reactions that want to push me to control, let them go, let the new in and let it flow, I see and realize in such moment I must breathe and stand by my principle, no need to think, hold within me, what is best for all and thus myself with the new information presented within what is here as life, what works, what is best, and move with that based on principle, not personal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfort in the illusion of control.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the wind blowing against me, pushing me freely around as a dance to be my expression, but to rather be fighting the winds, not wanting to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR letting go of what I define as the BEST way that I see, or that was given to me a certain way to do a certain something, in the fear of taking the long way, the wrong way or going through unnecessary processes and learning experiences to only come at the same point again given to me, and thus going into control, where I control myself to NOT flow, to not move, to not grow, to now TRUST myself as the WAY given to me as a living expression in who I am in all ways, as water does, water does not change no matter where it goes, water remains water, and water will go through anything and everything, around, under, above, through as it is THE way and it remains life giving in all ways, even when they way physically changes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe letting go is giving up.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let GO of what can be let go of, as a point of allowing myself to flow, to open up space as to move and be HERE, more effective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Letting go of what I can see is not necessary, that I am simply holding onto for the sake of control, the illusion of power and the fear of experiencing myself different.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear different things, to fear different sides of myself, to fear what I do know is suppressed and hidden within me, and know I have been controlling things in the attempt to avoid them, where I see control as the only way, yet knowing I cna take a pen and paper, or a blog and write, forgive myself, investigate the point to remove fear, to allow myself to move forward anew.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HIDE myself, parts of myself through controlling myself.

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