C O N T R O L

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being controlled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Desire control over certain things/people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that any attempt to control others is me controlling only myself and e3nslaving myself to that control system one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear LOSING the control I believe I have, where I fear if I lose control that everything will be lost, gone, that all I have worked so hard for will be for nothing, seeing and realizing that all I fear is me and who I will be, thus I see and realize that I can choose/decide who I am no matter what happens and thus I can let go of control, allow flow, allow things to grow, allow processes to move and unfold where I am or can not directly have an impact, or say, and so focus on me my living here and directing myself as water do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that to want to control is to confirm one’s fear, thus control is a direct form of fearful living, where I will approach situations or people with control out of fear, instead of approaching people or situations simply with common sense and to be open to receive, to learn, to give, to teach equal and one where all is considered and thus no control is required.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to control things/others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that control is a coping mechanism, as to come with what is here, versus finding a real solution.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that CONTROL is a form of avoidance, where I control things in my environment as to avoid reactions, to avoid parts of myself within myself that I do not like to face, take on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to control and to be able to control something is power, not seeing and realizing that within placing control onto others/myself I enslave myself and others to a certain way things are, and so must always be in a certain MODE of control, enslaving myself to a character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that I must CHANGE myself, come to agreements and implement principle living where control becomes obsolete, renders it useless in the mind, where I live like water, water can not be controlled it will flow, rain, vaporize, it will find a way to move and direct itself to be life giving, as the principle and agreement of water is life giving and so always move to do that, nothing more and nothing less, and any imbalance within that does not require more control, as it is impossible, but rather solutions/corrections within the principle for the flow of life to be here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control the outcome of something, as I have come to believe that my way is the right way, and no one else is to be trusted, or can be trusted. THUS creating distrust and so the opposite of the desired outcome, as all control is lost through only distrust being acted on in the disguise of control. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I believe I have control over something, over people and a direction within how things are moving, to feel powerful, to feel like things are getting done, to feel that things are finally moving forward, only to find out that control is a moment, and eventually the truth comes to the surface that control is not possible, and so go into a polarity of I am failing, everything is falling backwards, nothing is working out, and so within that lose control within me and my direction, as I find it was a house of cards built upon illusions as control.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to misdirect control as to create the illusion of change only to maintain control, only postpone the inevitable, only prolong the process of LIFE that needs to flow, that needs to move, and only through allowing the water to flow and to reach it’s destination, it must be let lose, as it will become swampy, contaminated if it only sits still in the same pond, not moving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of self-control and to let myself live, to be. To express without fear of what others will think of me or how they will judge me, and so allow my waters to flow, to grow to find their ways to HERE, to stop controlling me to be a certain way in fear of what others will think, as I see and realize it is about me and my living, who I am and allowing myself to see myself, especially when I move, when my waters move, when I can grow and give as I have received as water does and do.

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that living by the principle of what is best for all life in all ways naturally renders control useless, as principle living is who I am, and thus I do not have to control who I am.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself to flow, to move, to grow and to focus on myself, to let my self-control go, my moralities, to trust my principle in living as water trust itself to be water, life giving, and therefore no control needed, not a one way or a certain way, I must be the way as the movement as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as someone comes to challenge me, what I am doing, or parts of me, to immediately move into control, to control the situation, instead of allowing it to flow all the way, to flush out the waters that isn't needed, to trust the moment that is challenging me to stir the waters to remove any impurities, and so seeing that in such moment I must breathe, I must focus on what is presented within me, find the reactions that want to push me to control, let them go, let the new in and let it flow, I see and realize in such moment I must breathe and stand by my principle, no need to think, hold within me, what is best for all and thus myself with the new information presented within what is here as life, what works, what is best, and move with that based on principle, not personal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfort in the illusion of control.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the wind blowing against me, pushing me freely around as a dance to be my expression, but to rather be fighting the winds, not wanting to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR letting go of what I define as the BEST way that I see, or that was given to me a certain way to do a certain something, in the fear of taking the long way, the wrong way or going through unnecessary processes and learning experiences to only come at the same point again given to me, and thus going into control, where I control myself to NOT flow, to not move, to not grow, to now TRUST myself as the WAY given to me as a living expression in who I am in all ways, as water does, water does not change no matter where it goes, water remains water, and water will go through anything and everything, around, under, above, through as it is THE way and it remains life giving in all ways, even when they way physically changes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe letting go is giving up.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let GO of what can be let go of, as a point of allowing myself to flow, to open up space as to move and be HERE, more effective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Letting go of what I can see is not necessary, that I am simply holding onto for the sake of control, the illusion of power and the fear of experiencing myself different.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear different things, to fear different sides of myself, to fear what I do know is suppressed and hidden within me, and know I have been controlling things in the attempt to avoid them, where I see control as the only way, yet knowing I cna take a pen and paper, or a blog and write, forgive myself, investigate the point to remove fear, to allow myself to move forward anew.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HIDE myself, parts of myself through controlling myself.

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