Day 514 – SLEEEEEEEP

If only I could get that proper sleep, I will feel better.
Maybe if I sleep a little bit I will feel better.
After a good nap I will feel alive and good to do things again.
If I can just get some DEEP sleep I will reboot and feel fresh.
Tonight I must go to bed early to start the day fresh and alive tomorrow.
I must catch up with sleep to not be in this mood.
I will be more effective if ONLY I had a good sleep last night, but I didn’t.
Today is going to suck, I barely slept last night.
I went to bed SOO late last night, that’s why today is going to be though.
WOW the nap I had really helped, but why am I so tired again, I probably need more sleep.

Those are but some thoughts that I have had regarding sleep and what revolves around sleep, I have noticed how sleep can take over my day to day life, to be more precise, the belief I have around sleep and how I have given away my self-responsibility to WHY I am experiencing myself as tired as what is happening within me, through making sleep the excuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame not having enough or a certain type of sleep for why I experience myself as tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame how little I have slept for why I am experiencing myself within my mind set as being tired/exhausted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use not having enough sleep as a justification for how I experience myself as not mobile.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use not having enough sleep as a justification/excuse to why I am not HERE present breathing but rather in certain moods.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use not having enough sleep as a justification for why I am the way I am as being gloomy, tired looking, not alive, not moving myself effectively, why I am sitting around, why I am always chilling instead of breathing and being here directing each moment within practicality and clarity.

So the questioning must once again go deeper, why even if I got sleep, or a nap – does tiredness sink in at some point that is ONLY felt in the eyes, the head section. This leads down an interesting path, as tiredness isn’t a mental point, it is a physical point that we reference to as being tired – as the body is the vessel that does literally everything, the mind as a tool is supposed to just give like GPS direction.
So firt, understanding the mind as a tool and not who you are and how this tool works, as a GPS, how can one get tired from using the tool as the mind? Well over use, using the GPS to not just direct but to actually get lost and to then having to get new input the whole time or old input and scrambling the direction and getting lost within the mess within the GPS system as the mind, in fact we get so lost within it finding direction that we are now even thinking we are this mess, we are this GPS system, forgetting that someone else placed the info into the GPS before it even started getting active – and this input wasn’t even from who I am, it was from my parents, as they already claimed to know this world and thus what direction I must take to secure survival, and Hench why we get lost using this GPS system, because we never placed the info/directions within it, someone else did and we are just trying to make sense of it all and get lost in it.

So the tiredness comes from a simple explanation – direction, setting a direction and living it, using the GPS once and then moving to the locations/taking the direction, but as long as I am all up in my GPS/mind I will be tired, I will feel tired and moody, I will not be able to move and be effective. I am jumping from one place to another – I am attempting to follow all the paths that has been programmed into my GPS – and not finding my own path/direction and living that.

To be continued.