Continuing from day 224.
So after all the research on all the ways the world could and end where I ended up obsessing about lots of things I started influencing my friends and people I randomly met, through talking about what I have researched and found and within this I attempted to put fear into others of the end of the world coming closer - I wanted to get fear into them so that they can join me in my mind game, so that I can feel that I am right and that it will happen, I wanted to have people to talk to about how the world can end and what I will do and what they will do.
This is obviously not what happened, I only started repelling my friends and random strangers, people started seeing me as strange, always talking about aliens and vibrations and ice ages and global warming and meditating and why I am doing it - I had major fights with people in my life about these certain points and even lost friends, it was no different that how a drug addict behaves and even hurt those around him/her with the drug abuse and how it effect the physical reality and the people within it.
I can honestly say that I mostly did it for the energetic experience, knowing that something major can happen to earth and I do not know what it will be, and will I be prepared or not - it was a game, like I was a kid waiting for my present and not knowing what it will be, I had to chose a desired present in my mind that I would like but I never know, because someone else decides the actual gift that will come.
I mean I had such a big variety of ways that the world could come to an end and that I will part of it in my lifetime, I enjoyed the rush of having to survive and that thee way the world exist now will come to an end, wishing for the struggle of money and daily boring life problems to be replaced by an exciting end of the world event.
Will I see massive giant aliens coming to earth when their planet pass us, will I meet my creators in the flesh, will I have to fight them, will the world face a ice age and I can survive in it and become some sort of survival leader that looks after people and start my own new desired world, will my fantasy come true of a type of planet I always wanted to live on which I only always find in games and in movies, you know those types where there is only a few surviving and there are people with awesome new ways of dressing with new species and so forth.
I can clearly see how I have been programmed to desire the end of the world through the way the world exist today, because nothing is cool about the world and how it exist today I desired a different world, even if that different world was in chaos and destruction, to me in my mind it still seemed better, not realizing the world is already in a apocalypse and we humans are doing it right now daily as the world is showing, no need for something out there or greater than us to do it for us.
Basically I desired the end of the world because any world will be better than a world where I have to live and die for money, and I would say everyone that has a end of the world fish or that actually believes in the end of the world coming this year and that is very close is actually JUST WISHING FOR A WORLD WITHOUT MONEY, WITHOUT THE BORING DAILY routine of survival and everything just being the same, well I have discovered that the end of the world is not the solution and that it in fact isn’t going to happen at the age of 18, this might have been just my luck or I would have literally wasted my life away waiting till this year and not doing anything to change this world, but here I am doing the changing practically instead.
So it isn’t about who is right and who is wrong about the apocalypse, we will see the truth at the end of this year, everything will still be the same as before but only worse within the economy and for all life on earth due to the current world system we are living in and accepting and allowing to be what we call life.
So I will wish for everyone that has been on their journey for the end of the world that will be disappointed to join me with Desteni and the equal money system and let us change the world together, at Desteni and the equal money system we do not hold anything against anyone we understand we all have gone through the exact same things and we realize the extent of the problem on earth and we are here to support and assist all those that want change but could not find the help or the alternative routes, well here we are.
To be continued with self forgiveness.
So after all the research on all the ways the world could and end where I ended up obsessing about lots of things I started influencing my friends and people I randomly met, through talking about what I have researched and found and within this I attempted to put fear into others of the end of the world coming closer - I wanted to get fear into them so that they can join me in my mind game, so that I can feel that I am right and that it will happen, I wanted to have people to talk to about how the world can end and what I will do and what they will do.
This is obviously not what happened, I only started repelling my friends and random strangers, people started seeing me as strange, always talking about aliens and vibrations and ice ages and global warming and meditating and why I am doing it - I had major fights with people in my life about these certain points and even lost friends, it was no different that how a drug addict behaves and even hurt those around him/her with the drug abuse and how it effect the physical reality and the people within it.
I can honestly say that I mostly did it for the energetic experience, knowing that something major can happen to earth and I do not know what it will be, and will I be prepared or not - it was a game, like I was a kid waiting for my present and not knowing what it will be, I had to chose a desired present in my mind that I would like but I never know, because someone else decides the actual gift that will come.
I mean I had such a big variety of ways that the world could come to an end and that I will part of it in my lifetime, I enjoyed the rush of having to survive and that thee way the world exist now will come to an end, wishing for the struggle of money and daily boring life problems to be replaced by an exciting end of the world event.
Will I see massive giant aliens coming to earth when their planet pass us, will I meet my creators in the flesh, will I have to fight them, will the world face a ice age and I can survive in it and become some sort of survival leader that looks after people and start my own new desired world, will my fantasy come true of a type of planet I always wanted to live on which I only always find in games and in movies, you know those types where there is only a few surviving and there are people with awesome new ways of dressing with new species and so forth.
I can clearly see how I have been programmed to desire the end of the world through the way the world exist today, because nothing is cool about the world and how it exist today I desired a different world, even if that different world was in chaos and destruction, to me in my mind it still seemed better, not realizing the world is already in a apocalypse and we humans are doing it right now daily as the world is showing, no need for something out there or greater than us to do it for us.
Basically I desired the end of the world because any world will be better than a world where I have to live and die for money, and I would say everyone that has a end of the world fish or that actually believes in the end of the world coming this year and that is very close is actually JUST WISHING FOR A WORLD WITHOUT MONEY, WITHOUT THE BORING DAILY routine of survival and everything just being the same, well I have discovered that the end of the world is not the solution and that it in fact isn’t going to happen at the age of 18, this might have been just my luck or I would have literally wasted my life away waiting till this year and not doing anything to change this world, but here I am doing the changing practically instead.
So it isn’t about who is right and who is wrong about the apocalypse, we will see the truth at the end of this year, everything will still be the same as before but only worse within the economy and for all life on earth due to the current world system we are living in and accepting and allowing to be what we call life.
So I will wish for everyone that has been on their journey for the end of the world that will be disappointed to join me with Desteni and the equal money system and let us change the world together, at Desteni and the equal money system we do not hold anything against anyone we understand we all have gone through the exact same things and we realize the extent of the problem on earth and we are here to support and assist all those that want change but could not find the help or the alternative routes, well here we are.
To be continued with self forgiveness.
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