Day 217 – The Heat of the Sun on the Farm

During my Day here on Desteni Farm there are times that it is really hot, the heat I am talking about isn’t always necessarily the Sun rays that is burning on my skin, I am talking about Humidity and a pressurized heat in the air that always seem to make me tired and that I do not want to move and work.

So that is what I experience physically, within this I also have mental shit coming up such as reactions and feeling irritated and with all of that back chat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the heat when and as it is hot temperatures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the heat outside within the belief that when and as it is hot that I will suffer outside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear suffering in the heat outside when and as I have to get work done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as punishment when and as I have to work outside in the heat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that when I am a bit out of my comfort zone that I am suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I do not have a clue what suffering is, seeing and realizing that I have been living in my comfort zone in fear of seeing what is behind the comfort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have created a comfort zone for myself through my habits and patterns, seeing and realizing that this comfort zone is my limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about the heat and how I do not want to experience myself as being uncomfortable when and as it is hot, seeing and realizing that when I think about it I am making it so for my body as I constantly give my body the signals of what I am supposed to experience as discomfort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my body signals that is from my mind as a interpretation of the physical reality that is based on ideas/beliefs that is not real and yet place these conditions onto my body through thinking and having thoughts and back chat existent within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself as my body through giving the mind permission to place conditions onto my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief my mind when I tell myself in my mind that the heat is going to be BAD, seeing and realizing that when and as I tell myself that I will experience that, instead of breathing and seeing what is here as the physical with no mind interpretations effecting anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I experience the heat as more than the heat itself such as being irritated or tired to within that experience belief it must be real what I am experiencing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated from the heat during the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I get irritated from the heat as I have given the “experience within me about the heat more power than me here as the physical breathing.

To be continued.