Day 201 – I need to have a Laugh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am anxious seek a good old laugh to suppress the anxiety instead of looking at why I am anxious and to write about the point to see how I am creating and participating within the creation of the anxiety so that I can stop creating anxiety and breathe here stable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions as energy, not seeing and realizing that when I participate within any form of energy creation within my mind that has effects on my body that I will accumulate anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I am seeking a laugh that I am seeking to run away from what is here as me within the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress anxiety with laughter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the polarity game of polarity as negative (emotions) and positive (feelings) as to feel that I am moving forward, not seeing and realizing that all I am doing is going in circles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have been using laughing as a drug to give me a high when I feel low, and as all drugs it wears off and then requires the next hit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to laughing to deal with situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of breathing and deal with the situations at hand through laughing instead of breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I am laughing within situation that I am suppressing the actual experience and thus not able to deal with it real time within breathing and moving through the point to not be controlled by the experience and instead re-program myself as the physical to deal with the situation effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek comfort within laughing, not seeing and realizing that within seeking and getting comfort when and as I laugh that I am only confirming to myself that I cannot handle the situations and that I must always experience anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I can stop the polarity game through breathing and re-programming myself as the physical where there is no experience needed to deal with situations but to simply breathe.

I commit myself to when and as I am dealing with a situation to stop the physical action of laughing and to instead breathe and see for myself who I am and what is the real experience that I am within, and to within that breathe through the experience and stabilize myself here as the physical as breath.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself already laughing to stop and to breathe within the realization that I am laughing in separation of a point instead of standing one and equal as the situation within real time as the physical here, as I see and realize that the anxiety or the laughing is from the mind that is not here but within an alternate reality of thoughts/feelings/emotions not seen by anyone but me and to take self-responsibility through applying self-forgiveness and stop.