I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I clean the room to have back chat within my mind of how dirty the room is, making statements within my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to comment on the dirtiness of my room within my mind to myself, instead of seeing within myself what actions I have taken within not being here as breathe as awareness to create a dirty/messy room, using the commenting as justification and blaming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that cleaning the room is useless as it will just look the same again as all messy and crap everywhere in a matter of two days.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept that the room can never stay clean and in “order” that works practically at all times, and within this acceptance not correcting myself in my actions that prevent the room from being a fucking mess again and not seeing and realizing that is it what I accept and allow within myself as Who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the room gets as messy and dirty within two days because of Patterns that I and my partner follow and do not correct and thus simply creating the same thing over and over.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept such patterns as normal and harmless, not considering the consequences of daily living such as finding socks or looking for my jacket for ten minutes and not finding certain tools which waists time and only creates frustration and anger within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see all the cloths laying on the floor get mad as the basket is literally two meters away, not seeing and relating that I am only mad at myself from not taking that one second that one breathe that it did require in the moment to be effective and here in awareness as the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive myself mad within participating within wants/needs/desires of how the room must look like in my mind and in reality it isn’t how it looks like and so get mad and to within this act out as not giving a shit till the weekend and not breathe and perfecting my every breathe.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I clean the room have a picture Idea within and as my mind of what the room must look like for it to be classified as being clean.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that it is not to achieve a picture Idea of what clean is, but to keep it practical and in consideration of all that has to come into my room and live within my room, such as parrots living in my room and they will chew on anything the can, and thus when I leave a jacket on the floor and they chew off the zip then I cannot get mad as I was/am existing in the mind where I did not within y actions consider all that is here such as placing my jacket in my closet and preventing costing myself more money to fix the jacket and from me reacting and getting angry as myself and projecting it onto the parrot as being stupid when in fact I am the responsible being that should have used my ability to respond before nay consequences in the best interest of all life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see my Dirty room react with anger and being mad at myself with the back chat of “fuck me it is the same again, I Told myself it would be different this time and it isn’t” and to within that reaction not consider how I am re-creating a dirty room the whole time over and over again.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that what is within my room and how it looks and how I take care of it is a reflection of who I am, showing me that who I currently am is still as the mind as I am living in the mind during my day where I disregard the physical such as my room and thus when I enter my room and take off my socks or jacket that I simply through it on the floor or over a chair, and that this also shows me how I respect myself as the things I wear that currently support me within this reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that my room is a reflection of my mind as my mind is living in my room, seeing and realizing that when and as I live in breathe in each moment I will consider the physical and not the mind as energy and thus throw my socks in the laundry basket or hang my jacket up or take my dishes back to the kitchen and wash it and throw the paper/rubbish in the bins as I will within and as breathe realize that it take only one breathe to do one more action that is best for all life, and that the mind will only live in the moment based on how one feels and thus act accordingly such as I want my socks off and that is it and throw them on the floor.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that change start within myself and at home and so once change is sufficient and effective within self and at home change as the world will follow, and as my room is but a small extension of who I am and how I live in my room and thus reflecting my effectiveness and application as Breathe.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I enter my room go into a state of mind that it is now my space and I can do what I want, not considering that even if it is my space I have to take care of my space as I would like others to take care of my space if they had to one and equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop and consider that my room is a reflection of Who I am, and not as a picture but as a physical consideration of all points of myself as who I am determines what I do.
To be continued.
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