Day 136 – Living Commitments – Day 8 of 21 – Conversations with myself.

This is a continuation of Day 135 Day 7 of 21.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate positive and or negative experiences within myself through internal conversations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Justify the world and how Life currently is as Abuse of life within internal conversations with myself – where there is no real feedback but only me always winning and being right, never allowing myself to actually face reality and taking self responsibility for and as the physical as Who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip and judge others within my mind within internal conversations so that I may always feel better/good about myself, not seeing the evil I am doing onto others and myself as there is never any feedback that is real, but only me talking to myself as multiple characters that I designed in childhood to always only fight for me and win, even when it is at the cost of LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Glorify myself within my mind through having internal conversations with myself where I will only praise myself and make myself feel good through constantly Re-playing conversations from the past in my mind of memories in different/modified ways to create the energetic experience I seek that I have identified myself with and as being alive – not seeing and realizing that this is an outflow from a past memory where I was glorified or made special by those that has gone before me and that I experienced myself a certain way and now I constantly seek this experience through creating conversations with myself in my mind that is similar, creating the past over and over the present, never moving on or seeing what is really here as LIFE as I trap myself within these energetic experiences I seek and create myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that all internal conversations is but past memories that I have connected with certain energetic experiences that I have liked or hated, and when and as the conversations start within my mind where I re-create the experiences I am simply reliving the past and trapping myself within the past and to within this Identify myself as these past experiences – never realizing myself as the physical.

I commit myself to when and as I see/find myself within talking to myself or having internal conversations with myself, to stop and to ask myself, why am I doing this?, what si the energetic experience I am feeding/creating and why? And to within that realize that it is completely useless and not necessary as I am here breathing and able to move myself physically in breathe and to write and self forgive myself for trapping myself within such conversations that I have with myself and to re-birth myself as LIFE and to not continue on as the past as memories and experiences that just keep repeating and repeating, realizing that this is how the world is in the state it is now, from the past always being re-lived/created in the present and people trapping themselves within the mind as these conversations within the belief that they carry meaning just because they have some sort of energy experience.

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