Day 450 - I just can’t get up - living my utmost potential Part 2

continuing from - Day 449 - I just can't get up Part 1

Day 449 - I just can’t get up - living my utmost potential - See more at: http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/07/day-449-i-just-cant-get-up-living-my.html#sthash.uRP6C1Ay.dpuf

Day 449 - I just can’t get up - living my utmost potential - See more at: http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/07/day-449-i-just-cant-get-up-living-my.html#sthash.uRP6C1Ay.dpuf

Day 449 - I just can’t get up - living my utmost potential - See more at: http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/07/day-449-i-just-cant-get-up-living-my.html#sthash.uRP6C1Ay.dpuf

Day 449 - I just can’t get up - living my utmost potential - See more at: http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/07/day-449-i-just-cant-get-up-living-my.html#sthash.uRP6C1Ay.dpuf

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself sleep more than required using the back-chat and justification of “Because I can” and to use this back-chat as valid for sleeping more than required.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that JUST because I am capable of sleeping and escaping from reality for a while, that I can just do it whenever I want when there is time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignorantly make the statement in my head of “ Because I can sleep more” without seeing the consequences within the action of just sleeping and wasting time doing nothing but not being here.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop and to investigate why it is that I want to sleep more just because I can, just because I have the time, instead of living and doing things that is require and practical, and rather postpone it and compact it all into less time available during the day and create a stressful day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the day that lies ahead, and to within this rather choose to sleep more than having to do more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the day ahead more than myself in the moment and to within this rather want to hide away a bit more through sleeping and compromising practical living things for the purpose of just not having to do more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take my day on where I make the first decision and not my mind, where I wake up at the set time I give myself because I live it in the moment and to not be directed by how I feel and think and all the internal things going on, but me making the living change, knowing I did it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have second thoughts, or any thought at all that directs me away or against my decision for what I want to live, that I have set for myself to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I wake up to my alarm in the morning have a bias intention within me to not stick to the alarm but to have open space for second options such as sleeping more and throwing common sense out of the window.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise and sabotage myself though not living the decision I have made on waking up early and for all the practical common sense reasons, to live as the physical as my utmost potential and to not submit to the mind as energy and thoughts/backchat, to breathe and push through the brainwashing and mind conditioning on the body.

To be continued with SCS

Day 449 - I just can’t get up - living my utmost potential

I just can’t get up.

Every morning I wake up at seven thirty or eight, if there isn’t any specific early time scheduled, but I have been setting my alarm for six in the mornings.

So I just cannot get up at that time, sure I don’t have a solid sleep during the night with a baby on the bed being fed and all the other things involved with a baby sleeping on the same bed, but I do get my rest, I do get quite a lot of time in, I go to bed around twelve, and I want to only sleep six hours.

The reason I want to sleep six hours only is to push myself to live my full potential, within living fully my day and not sleep just because I can sleep, that in itself is bothering me as a statement if I am living that, why do I prefer to sleep more than doing anything, sleeping is like choosing to be dead for a certain amount of hours and not having to live, to face reality, obviously I am referring to sleeping more than what’s necessary.

And six hours is the necessary amount of time for the body to recover and recuperate, so why sleep 8 hours and more if possible? It is showing me that there is something in my reality that I am not dealing with and instead wasting time hiding from it.

So every morning my alarm goes off at six, I then stand up and I go to my alarm and I switch it off, just as I switch it off, I stand there and I look at the moment and I go, what can I go do now, it’s dark and its cold and there isn’t really anything I can do at this time, I might as well go sleep for another hour, so I take my phone and I set the alarm for seven, when seven comes, I do the same, only now for another thirty minutes, then I wake up and I get out and do things.

Here comes the problem, no I have to leave in about an hour and a half for doing field work, in this time I have to make coffee, eat and shower and get all my stuff ready for the field work, and then before I leave I have to do calls to certain people to confirm certain things.

So now I skip on coffee and I skip on breakfast and I rush to shower and get ready and to get the other things done, now I remember why I wanted to wake up at six, there was/is quite a few things I had and could have done, but I was just too tired and not inspired to push through the moment of it all and just fall into the bed again, believing its all okay, nothing is being compromised or getting hurt except me.

So there is no harm in me not getting to my stuff, as long as I am in time and as long as I get the things done that includes everyone else. Then everything is okay.

Wow – did I just now write that, I am harming my body through not giving it food and through not supporting myself with let’s say some morning exercise as I sit ALL day on my ass for work, and calling it “there is not consequences, not to mention all the rushing I am doing which is creating stress and a mind full of shit, just because I wasn’t mindful of everything.

Now waking up has become more difficult because I have repeated this pattern to often which then becomes automatic and thus I don’t even have the though process anymore, it’s just natural now, physically integrated into my behavior.

To be continued with SF. Living my utmost potential in all ways best for all life.

Day 427 – Mornings, evenings and Night time

A pattern that I have noticed within myself and my day that is of limitation is where I have this weird belief that there are specific things that are best to do ONLY in the morning and then there are things that’s Best to do ONLY in the evenings and then there are things that I can only do at nights, which leads to me not doing a lot of things – Because it’s not the right time, I am not in the right mood – which means I have created Moods for each time such as the morning/evening/night – and this is working against me instead of me working with what’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit what I can do dependent on the time of day and to within this have created a mood for each time of the day that will be the justification of why I am doing certain things or not.
When and as I see myself NOT doing something just because its something I have judged as doing at night when it is still morning and thus postponing, I stop, I breathe and I push myself to move from this point/pattern of self-limitation and to do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to determine what I do dependent on the MOOD I am in that I have created and connected to the time of the day and to within this NOT move myself and get things done.

When and as I see myself being in a mood at a certain time of day – I stop, I breathe, I realize that the mood isn’t real but only a belief that I have created of how I must be experiencing myself dependent on the certain time of day, and to within this realization stop the mood and move myself within practicality and the physical as what’s here to do and get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a lazy mood of not doing anything till I have done small things first and then go bigger as a way of “waking up and to only then in the afternoon get to bigger things and then at night get to the things I resist doing, seeing and realizing that this is the justification I use for postponing what’s needed to be done according to the time Construct connected with moods as self-limitation/sabotage.

When and as I see myself going into the pattern of “I must first wake up by doing small things before I get to the bigger things and then the things I resist doing” I stop and I breathe – I realize it’s just a justification and not real and just to postpone the resistance of doing what’s needed to be done, I move myself to do what’s needed to be done though going there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use TIME and the time of day as an excuse/justification for why I am not doing certain things within the belief that if I do the things that needs to be done at this time of the day I will not be doing it effectively or just half way and that it’s not worth it, seeing and realizing that this is also a justification for not Being here in my body breathing but instead in my mind thinking and creating problems/reasons for why I am not moving myself, seeing and realizing that this is also a lack of self-commitment within my daily responsibilities.

When and as I see myself using time and the time of the day as an excuse/justification for why I am not doing certain things – I stop – I breathe I realize it’s a self-limitation that I have constructed and played out as a pattern to a point where I belief its real, and I forgive myself and move myself within forgiveness to stop the pattern and to move forward in my life.

When and as I see myself Using the excuse/justification based on the belief that if I do something a certain time of the day I will not be as effective as later on or in a different time – I stop, I breathe I realize that it is not real and only a self-created limitation within my participation in my world and so I push myself to prove to myself that I am not the limitation.