Fear of Loss - Lose the Fear

 

All I have is Breath.

 

 

 

Interview from EQAFE on The Design of Fear of Loss HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of loss.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is possible to lose something.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of the system taking what I have away from me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe it is possible to own something as MINE. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from reality as life as what is here and to within this attempt to possess things and thus where they end up possessing me with the fear of loss of separation. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the future as FEAR of what I can lose or not lose as my decision.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lose what I have as the current life setup that I have.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of possibly losing the nature and animals and the community I live within. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of the future and what could happen or not happen and whatever happens, will determine hat I lose, and thus live in the fear of what I can lose. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lose the LIFE I have currently and to not have a possible future that will put me in a similar position that I am within now be live and do what I do.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of loss and what I can lose if the future does not look to good or bright within my life in terms of finances.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in separation of what is here as a whole for all life in any given moment and to thus not stand one and equal as a solution within changing who I am as life as any and all possible situations and to walk what is best for all. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lose the community/farm I live on currently and thus all and any projects and plans I have that could have had potential to help many.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I go to the point of fear of loss and what it might mean if the point of loss manifests and that it means that is the end, and thus already placing myself in a position of disempowerment as the limitations of the mind, instead of seeing who I am within the lowest point not just within myself but also physically and how I will stand up and direct myself to push to create and manifest what is within me again, as it is in my name GIAN/Again.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the fear of what if, what could have been, instead of what is here, direct and act, live. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lose my position within this world as an empowered position as one of the people that have money, while billions have nothing, and thus living in fear of having to live what others are living, and thus revealing my dishonesty as what I am still accepting and allowing within this world for others but I am not willing to walk that path with them one and equal. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can lose anything as long as I have myself, and thus I see and realize that YES I can lose a position, Yet I am still here, I can still breathe and direct and express me. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the fear of loss within me and what is it showing me as a gift of where I have still separated myself, and where I have created a point of dependency, not standing as who I am within me in all ways one and equal as all life in each and every breath, and thus fear losing what I have defined myself accordingly with. 

 

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that fear of loss that is here is showing me that I still fear and this not living here but in a near future that is still a projection of when I believe I will live and be ready and thus Fear losing what is here that is making up for me not standing, like crutches, my home, my money, my family, my environment, and thus I only act and live when it is necessary to prevent the loss from manifesting, instead of acting out of pure will as standing as what is best for all and not out of fear to only prevent the fear of loss to manifest and thus create exactly that fear, to manifest that loss, as I am only standing one and equal to what I fear losing instead of what I am capable of here creating in all breath without fear. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I might have to live if I lose what I have. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear actually having to live the word suffering compared to me living stress.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the word stressed as if it can be compared to living to suffer.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to live to have to beg for food or dig through dustbins to find a meal. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to have to sleep on the streets where I am open to all sorts of abuse. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to die on the streets never having used what I had to change this world for all where such possibilities aren't possible for anyone. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how I will or might experience myself within losing everything I had and to thus LOSE myself as I define myself to what I had and then to also define myself according to what will happen me on the streets and to change in ways I never thought possible as FEAR. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to become and living my fears.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Feel powerless within my fear manifesting and that I must slowly prepare myself for it already and so already give up and already manifest the outcome. Instead of stopping the fear, dropping any fear of loss, forgiving the pre-programmed fears through realizing them for what they are and to actually dare to live without fear through seeing and understanding that since I am already willing to manifest my fear through my actions and thus live it, what do I have to lose through fully and completely living without fear and to stand up and change in fact to live without fear as I am already prepared to live my fear, I can not lose anything but the fear and Breathe and thus LIVE as what is best for all life, standing as a voice for life, standing as that point of self-honesty.

Day 107 – Survival Character Part 2 – social survivor

So this is a continuation of Day 106 –Survival Character Part 1 – social survivor.

I ended up in the last Blog with the main point of why I “had to survive socially”, the point was fear of not being accepted and thus the physical consequences of that such as, being bullied and abused, this comes from actual memories where I have made the connections in life through how other kids (either older or same age) would treat each-other, and obviously such behavior is taught at home or from any Adult/Parent/Sibling and passed on.

So it wasn’t a matter of out of the blue thanks to Natural instinct that I miraculously knew I must survive, it was through actual events in the past that imprinted and thus Programmed into me as a child, thus looking at the survival characters I can see they are all not Natural and actually taught/shown/programmed into me or by myself through competition and self interest..

The first character I am going to walk and see is the characteristics of the Social survivor character and what/how/why the character plays out its roles.

Social Survivor character.

How: How does the character come into play, first I look at when is the character not in play, this character is not in play when I am all alone with myself in my room/house/area and there is no need to survive.

So the character come out to play its role once someone enters my “space” or before I have to enter someone else s space.

So the character is dependent on other “beings” and me being in their presence and thus accordingly to who ever the person is - I have a character that will act/behave/speak and be a certain way to be Accepted by the other character and not be attacked/abused/misused/bullied and so that I can survive.

This can even go deeper, as the How’s has a memory attached to it, each and every single “how”, because in the past a certain event/situation happened and I experienced myself a certain way and in response to how I experienced myself and validated the experience as who I am, I either judged it as good or bad and accordingly either suppressed it or not. and then create a character for each one, thus the good experience will now have a character that acts out in that certain event/scenario when it plays out because I made the connection “it made me survive and I am alive, either because in the certain event people liked me for what I did or who I was etc, and so for the opposite as the bad energy experience, I create a character that will in such events play out to suppress the past experience of the memory and play out a response acceptable to the situation that is acceptable and thus suppressing the past/memory on which the character is created or try and prevent it.

It is interesting that there is this thing all over the world where people belief you have the right to be yourself and if people do not like it, it is their problem, Yet I can guarantee each and every human on earth. that no one is themselves, not even once a day, because we all know, if we had to be ourselves we would not have any friends, any job, anyone in our lives at all, and we would be abused and bullied all the time, characters do not like characters that isn’t acting to fit in and play their illusion role. Beat the shit out of that MOFO they say – its a real fucking Cult(ture)

So now I am going to apply Self Forgiveness on the physical How”s of when I go into social survival character and the fears connected to the hows that is triggered by thoughts that come up, that is/was created from a past memory/experience and now the thought is like a red button that I activate to kick in the character to play out and survive, so deleting the memory also deletes the thoughts that is bred from the memory as certain connections I made as the memory/experience was created/happened and obviously every-time I am the one that accepts and allows this to play out, it can never happen without my doing it.

Self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when someone enters my “space” to immediately go into survival mode as a character that is accepted by the specific person entering my space.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am about to enter anthers “space” to prepare and go into a character that I have created specifically to be accepted by the person(s).

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I actually prepare myself before hand in full awareness to enter other peoples space and for others to enter my space as the characters I create to act a certain way around the people to be accepted socially.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as someone knocks on my door and I ask who is it? That I am actually through asking who it is checking what Character I must take out of the closet to play and pretend in a certain role that is acceptable by the person at the door.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as someone is knocking at my door to first ask who is it? With full awareness that I am asking in a fear response of who it is, so that when the specific person answer I can check my memory data base for past experiences I had with the person and what I fear of the person/myself and how I must act accordingly as a certain character that is acceptable by the person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as someone is about to enter my space to go into fear of not being accepted by the person and to then when the thoughts come up in relation to the person of past experiences/memories where I see a situation/event/scenario/experience play out and to then immediately create a character that acts a certain way to avoid all the fears and to not have to face the fears and rather suppress it just to be accepted and not be abused or bullied.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that each and every thought is of memories/past/experiences that creates characters each and every-time to hide and not to have to face what I have accepted and allowed within this reality as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am about to go to a party/show/friends/family/mall etc. To go into thoughts that is of the past as memory and to check within the memory what character I must Create and act out to avoid all the negative experiences within the memories that is fear based and to literally dress myself up and walk a specific way and talk a specific way as a whole character that I created that is false and not real just so that when I enter other peoples environments/space to be accepted by them and to not be rejected and abused and bullied, realizing that all of this is my own mind interpretations that I created within my mind through certain events that happened in the past that I connected as negative or positive and then made judgements of myself and the world and now I am living a lie to protect the lie.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that every-time someone enters my presence or when I enter others presence I change characters to be socially accepted and thus I exist as thousands of characters as I have created a character for each and every person and event/situation and literally lost/forgot who I am as the physical being, as I spend so much time in my mind creating characters and playing them out that I totally missed the one REAL character that I use all the time to play out the fake ones as the Physical body/flesh as who i am and to neglect me and give power to the LIE in fear of not being accepted by the LIE as LIEf currently is in the SociaLIEfe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I/someone is about to enter my space or me their to define me according to the thoughts that come up within me that I accept and allow to move me and to then create characters in response to the thoughts. Not realizing that I am actually telling myself I am the thoughts, when it is as clear as day that I am the flesh here breathing and the thoughts is/are that which I accept and allow and decide what to do with, and thus within validating the thoughts I create my of fear all the time and thus manifest that which I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I go into fear due to the thoughts that I gave power due to certain memories and experiences of the past to give it power over the present here and to live in a constant state of stress/fear/anxiety of this fear of not being socially being accepted, not realizing that all it takes is to stop one thought in one breathe and I can set myself free in the moment and not go into a false pretentious illusion character that is a lie to myself and the physical and only keeping the lie as LIEf currently exist aLIEve.

Social Survival Character to be continued.

Day 82 – My precious Money Character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto money for the experience of having money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed with the powerful experience of having money that is mine.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the current money that exist all belongs to the banks and as long ass I hold onto my ass as the money experience I have when i have money I am a slave to the banks and will only spend money within self interest where I get the powerful experience of having the right to do things with money, as the banks want to me do to keep the enslavement of mankind in place for their profit gain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and exist within fear of losing the EXPERIENCE of having money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I give up my money that I will lose out on life as some magical experience that awaits me as part of the money enslavement system.

I forgive myself that I have  not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I hold onto my money out of fear of losing the experience I have of having money I am making the decision not to change and to remain a fucking slave to money and that I want all the consequences that will follow to come as long as I have my experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide the money I have in secret even if it is just a little bit, just so that I may have the experience as having money/power/control.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that all that money is, is a point of exchange, where I use money to exchange it for basic needs as I require to live within this world, and that when I use money for anything more that I am actually adding the experience and giving money power over my life and my free choice to chose to be at peace with myself without fearing to miss out on any experience that only money can buy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add value to money over life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make an addiction out of money over the simplistic point of its practicality within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money a problem within my back chat for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to my ego that is always in fear of the future and to hold onto money in a possessive way that allows no movement within my life but only me possessed by money.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I go out to town to use my money for special experiences that I enjoy instead of what is best for all life, that I am possessed and a money slave as I cannot even choose for myself where I will spend my money for real. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as long as I hold onto money as the money system is collapsing and not using the money to do something that I will be the end of myself as my money anyway with consequences. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that my money isn’t my money ever, it is only temporarily in my hand so that I may be controlled as the experience I add to it for the system of abuse that exist currently. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be satisfied with myself with being here with myself and all basic needs breathing and rather seeking amazing experiences that cause everything else to look more dull and boring and yet it is not so. 

I commit myself to when and as I see I am hiding/holding onto money that I have no real actual practical purpose for to use the money in a way that can and will support all life in all ways and to not be a slave to the experience of money and having money, as I realize that I have to be able to stand as the point of not needing money and having fear of losing money if I am expecting others to do the same for a world that is best for all life within the equal Money system that will come.

Day 44 - death and Dying in multiple ways

Dying multiple ways

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying in a sword fight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear bleeding to death from a huge cut wound.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from being beaten up heavily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from internal injuries from being beaten up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from a car hit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying while having sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying in fire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying of having no food to eat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying of having no water.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying of having no money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying in the cold outside having no homes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to die because someone stole all my money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying because of a fight over money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from being hanged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from falling down a high building and splashing on the floor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying of a disease.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from using construction tools and making a mistake such as cutting my own leg off or someone drilling into my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from an accident that was preventable yet it happened.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowing myself to fear dying from my own mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself from dying from drug a drug overdose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from someone kidnapping me to kill me to use my body parts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying at the hands of a loved one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from a spider bite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying of fasting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from a snake bite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from an animal attack.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from dying by being killed by humans in some torturous way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying in a war.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being killed by a cop in a revolution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being killed by being stoned to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying of old age.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from drowning in water.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from chocking on an objects.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from being strangled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from a a gun shot straight in the head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from a gun shot in the heart and bleeding to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from a hear attack.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from being eaten by a monster.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being raped to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying all alone, realizing that I will always die alone with myself, thus it is who I am within death that will determine after death, am I life or the mind as self interest as energy as consciousness that will end as it will have not more physical body to feed off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from being axed to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying, realizing that within the fear of death, it is an indication to where I am not self honest, where I am existing as ego, as energy as the mind, and not standing as life one and equal, as death is the one thing that can not be avoided this life, no matter how it happens, it is who you are that matters, are you life one and equal or the mind as an energy entity as a personality that will end at death, as the physical remain here one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying as the mind as a personality as self interest, realizing that it is inevitable that the mind will die at death, as only the physical can continue as life as the same substance, thus I realize it is to rebirth myself as life one and equal and that before then death is not preferred.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that fear of death is only showing me where I am still existing in separation as the mind as personality a something that I can apparently lose, fear of loss, realizing that within standing one and equal as life as who I am death is a part of me as life yet to be realized because who I am as life is certain and that at death I will not change.

I commit myself to expose that all fear is of the mind within self interest and that all fear is only created through the mind and that fear exist where the human has separated themselves from all life as life a the physical and that fear is a representation of the mind existing within a limited time as energy as the mind knows it will end at death.

I commit myself to stop all fear as the minds creation to keep self enslaved within the mind to feed the mind with energy as fear of death is a clear indication to the mind that the mind will end.

I commit myself to show that The message of Desteni is the only message that humans has this life till death to rebirth self as life one and equal.

I commit myself to educate myself and to ask for help to realize myself as life this life before death, so that when death comes i know who I am as life one and equal and thus no change.

I commit myself to spread the message of Desteni and to show that for all to make it this life as standing one and equal as life, help is needed, as we are not aware of life and only exist within the mind as fear and limitation, and to show that self forgiveness is the tool to set oneself free from all accepted and allowed limitations as the mind as energy as the personality/ego, and to rebirth self as life as a group is the only way possible as we all need to be shown what is here as we can not see it ourselves even within our own self proclaimed awareness.