Day 409 - Breathe part 1
Breathe.
So simple yet so difficult, why is focusing on breathing at
all times difficult, breathing already happens naturally, all I have to do is
focus and be aware of my breathe, and as my breathe focus on my body and be
aware of my body, and as I am aware of my body I am here and so aware of all my
senses. Physical senses, and thus aware of my environment.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see and realize that I have given all my focus/awareness as myself as my
body as the physical reality to my Mind only, as my thoughts/feelings/emotions
and all internal experiences of and as the mind consciousness systems.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
Give all my focus/awareness as my Breathe as my body as the physical reality to
my mind, within my mind within the mind consciousness systems as energy, as
thoughts/feelings and emotions, seeing and realizing that through focusing myself
within my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions instead of breathe, I have no
awareness of myself as my body as the physical reality and thus I cannot live
fully as a living being but only function as a robot as reactions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
trust the mind more then what I trust my breathe, thus go into the mind instead
of remaining here within breathe, seeing and realizing that within my past I
made decisions within myself within certain moments/scenarios/situations to
rather hide within my mind instead of remaining here as breathe directing
myself and reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
place my trust within what I do and how I do things within my mind within a
process of thinking/calculating, instead of breathing and being HERE as all
that is here and directing myself accordingly in each breathe which isn’t determined
by a process of thinking/delaying and that have reactions and conflicts, seeing
and realizing that as the physical as my breathe in each moment in real time, I
can make real decisions based on what is here (here being a moment of all that
is here as the physical as me as the physical as breathe) and thus move myself
in alignment with the physical/life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
live/escape into my mind out of fear of my environment, the people within my environment
and having to interact with them, fear of other people taking advantage of me
or stepping over me, and so instead of breathing and remaining here I go into
my mind as my battle station where I can always feel ready to defend or attack,
as I use the mind as the past to prepare myself for moments, seeing and
realizing that the mind is a creation of the past/history and thus when and as
I go and live within my mind I am living staying in the past as a way of my
Ammo, where I have all my ammo ready to use my physical as a weapon to speak or
move against others to attempt to prevent my fears from becoming real or facing
myself as those fears.
Thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed
myself to see that I actually Fear being here as the physical as my breathe =
because that means forgiving, and facing each moment as who I have accepted and
allowed myself to be, instead of just hiding within my mind as the past
defending who I have accepted and allowed myself to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
use the mind as a way to escape, my here moment of facing myself, correcting
myself and to NOT hide in the past as the mind as consciousness as
thoughts/feelings/emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear letting go of the mind, to Stop and to breathe and to NOT go into my
battle station, my defense systems as the mind consciousness systems and to Live
for real in each breathe, each moment new and me directing myself as the
physical as my breathe one and equal and to stop defending my
limitations/reasons/excuses/justifications and all that I have ever created
about myself as my personality as fears and insecurities based on past
experiences.
To be continued.
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