Day 302 - Cold hands

Day 302 - Cold hands

Every morning when I get to work I greet EVERYONE lol, it is a must, and I even greet the same people again twenty minute later if I see them, saying hi is like a constant thing, it is weird.

So in the mornings when I greet the people I shake hands, and the one thing I notice is that everyone’s hands is Warm and nice to greet, but mine is ice cold. And I have gotten feedback on this as well, the guys saying wow your hands is cold.

I have had this in the past as well, in school where everyone hands will be warm except mine, and now working again and getting the same feedback I am questioning this point again, I have created some judgments and Ideas about it, something must be wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my hands being cold as wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the other people with warm hands as being better than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if my hands are cold it means I am not here and breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate this point in real time for myself to check why my hands are cold and why others hands is warm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to fear that if my hands isn’t warm like the rat that they will think something is wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if my hands aren’t warm that people will not like greeting me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish my hands was warm like the rest so that I will be the same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people will interoperate my cold hands as something being wrong and different with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I greet someone and my hands are cold to immediately belief something is wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea about my cold hands as something being wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate the feedback I get in relation to my cold hands.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest within why my hands are cold.

I see that my hands are the things I move with, it is what allows me to do things, to get things done, it is the things that has made everything possible that is is here from the humans to be here, and not to be proud of at all obviously we have only been using hands to abuse and destroy and to create harm for all life. Yet our hands can so more thing, a billion more things in creating and living in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as my hands are cold that it is a sign that I am not here breathing and being in my body as self movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that my hands are indications of my breathing and if I am breathing in and as my body or if I am in the mind, thus not in my hands as me here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if my hands are cold in summer when the air and everything is hot that it must be a clear indication that I am in the mind and not breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my cold hands and to participate within the mind even more when and as they are cold, instead of seeing and realizing that I can instead use my hands as indicators to my breathing and how the breathe is flowing through my body and that there is life and not mind.

I commit myself to when and as I see that my hands are cold to breathe and to breathe into my body as my body and not just breathe to breathe for the sake of self interest and to bring life into my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from Life as something out there that I must acquire, instead of seeing and realizing that LIFE is here and thus breathing here in simplicity is simple.

I commit myself to when and as my hands are cold to stop and to not go into any mind ideas and believes about it and to apply the correction instead as breathing and standing as my body one and equal.

I commit myself to when and as I face the point of my hands being cold and not warm to focus by breathing to warm my hands up to have a clear indication of if my breathing is effective or not, as me moving myself and directing myself as me living here and not participating in the mind as pre-programming accepting and allowing who knows what to move and direct me.

The hands are the body, when I am in the mind the hands go cold as I am up there somewhere and breathing to bring myself here will heat up my hands as a indication of where I am, as the body is always here I simple have to stop the separation and live here, simple.

Day 151 – Asking for Milk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when our house runs out of milk and I have to go to the other house to ask for more milk, to feel guilty for asking for more milk, as I believe that me asking for more milk is me taking their milk just so that I may have for instance a cup of coffee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the guilt is only a feeling I have when asking for milk because I was raised and brought up in a system where LIFE cost money and within that I have developed guilt when I ask for something simple as milk for coffee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged by others when I go to them asking for more milk, within the fear that they will judge me for using lots of milk and only making the monthly expenses more.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that asking for more milk DOES make the monthly expensed more and thus more money must be spend for me to have more milk, I see and realize that it is not a point to feel guilty about but to check Who I am when I ask for milk and what thoughts/back chat I participated within to have accumulated fear when asking for milk and guilt when I receive milk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use milk daily from the starting point of indulging in drinking milk because I resist drinking water as i have judged water as not “tasting” like anything and so instead of drinking what worse and what is here I down a litre of milk a day that does cost more money, all for the sake of a thought/belief in my mind that I have about water.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drink milk every time I open the fridge till it is finished, and to then when it is finished -- I know I did it purposely not considering the actual reasons/purposes we bought milk for, such as coffee or cereal, and now that I finished it I have to now go and get more milk for the rest of the house for the coffee and cereal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I created the guilt and fear when I ask for milk through my actions in the past where I made decisions within the secret mind that is always based on self interest.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I pen the fridge and I see the milk and I think in my mind “ OH just a few sips quickly” and then take a few sips that it ads up to me finishing a whole bottle a day as I entertained the thought that was backed up with justifications such as “ a few sips will not make a difference”, “I deserve a few sips”, “ I am hot and the cold milk will cool me down” and to then play out the actions of drinking the milk till it is done at the end of the day, knowing we ALL still had to use milk for purposes that includes the whole group, and now I have to go to another house and ask for milk that they have and did not finish in self interest like I did and take their milk from them and to within this as the fear – fear that my actions would be questioned for why we run out of so much milk so fast, that I also then know costs more money and that the money could have been spend on something else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I keep on entertaining the thought every time I open the fridge to drink the milk and to then act out on it because I refuse to actually re-hydrate my body through drinking water, due to the judgments/opinions I have created around water and so have all the outflows of all the consequences JUST within my life within this one situation on this one point, not yet looking at my life where all points is playing out like this and costing literally.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop and breathe and simply drink a glass of water and to see what is real and not - and obviously to be most practical within the current reality of this world where everything functions with money and where everything costs money that I do, even opening the fridge door every time I just want to take one sip of milk and that it is not to judge or demonize the milk or from having a sip, but to stop the part where I am literally only consuming for the sake of it and not addressing the point practically and thus only cost money and compromise the house and other houses all because I was following one thought.

I commit myself to when and as I open the fridge for any reason and I see the milk to not drink the milk, and to instead go and fill up a cup of water and drink the water and to stop the attempt to quench my first with everything I can BUT water - and to actually support my body with water as 70% of me is water and thus it is but only common sense and to stop wasting money on mind bullshit that isn’t real but only self indulgence.