Day 368 – Positivity as paranoia Part2
As I wrote down Positivity I saw within that word how it is
all about the I, as there are three I’s in that one word, and this I isn’t the
real EYE that see physically, it is the I of self-interest that focuses only on
self and self’s happiness, on self’s positivity.
So ask myself, why would I want to live a life where I
always only focus on being happy and positive, or maybe I should ask myself the
right question here, HOW will I live a life of only happiness, of only positivity,
it requires some form of motivation.
And what better way of motivating oneself through using
negativity, FEAR and paranoia.
I have been chased by a dog once, I was riding on my bike
and suddenly this dog came out of nowhere, around me was a lot of fields and
bush and I was riding on a dirt road, this dog was coming full speed, I had a
BIG reaction, my chest was electrified with energy, negative energy, loads of
fear, I lifted my ass and started to push those pedals hard and fast, because
as I was experiencing this Fear and I was obviously paranoid, a lot of
paranoia, Irrational fear – expecting the worst, I was going to die.
It was a big dog, I was fast on my bike, but the dog was
also fast on his four legs, I only now realized that I created a shit load of
irrational fear (paranoia) to stimulate enough positive energy where I would be
motivated to get my ass up and peddle as hard and as fast as possible to get
away, I was positive that I would make it, I would make it, even though the
chances seemed like I was going to die, In my head of course, it’s called
paranoia.
I eventually came to the downhill part and went faster, the
dog chased and I just could not go on anymore, I was tired and overwhelmed with
fear, I drove into the bushes and hit a tree while not looking, just keeping my
eye on the dog, I fell off my bike and I was really worried, but it was quite.
I did not head a single bird sing, the dog was gone, I cached my breathe and I
got myself and my bike up and ready, and I paddled away.
I was very confused about what just happened, but I did not
feel positive or negative after that event, I was physically exhausted and
breathing a lot.
Back to the original point from day one and Day two on this
topic, now giving that example of how I used Negativity as paranoia to
stimulate and motivate me to be positive I am most curious to where in my Life
am I still doing this, or have I always done this.
If I look at my childhood years and how Christianity was
pumped into the heads of the children of all the things about SATAN and GOD, Satan
was that point of irrational fear, that point of keeping the kids paranoid the
whole time and thus to do the right thing, the positive things, which is
believing in god and most of all to fear god because he is a loving god, fuck
look at all that paranoia linked to positivity, trained and programmed into me
and all the other children.
The question then comes, does positivity really exist if all
and any positivity requires negativity to motivate its existence, to stimulate
the existence of positivity, I mean if people did not fear they would not have
required love, because love is unidentifiable without hate/without fear, love
is just a word of nothingness if love in its sound does not mirror its
opposite to self of NOT being loved, being hated, not being accepted/special and all the bs.
When the word love is used it isn’t just a word of love, it
is a word of Hate and love, because the word love must remind each and every
person using it of all the opposites negative hateful things that isn’t love
for that word to have any meaning, it must place a person in a state of
paranoia when one is told that one is loved for love to have it meaning.
To be continued.
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