Day 367 – Positivity as paranoia Part 1.

I will write from my experience at work, I have been working as a car salesmen for four months now, the first month I was in training, I wasn’t learning about selling cars, I was learning basic stuff like moving cars, delivering cars, fetching cars and going all over the place with cars, this never really stopped as I am still used for doing just that. 

After two months I was given by badge to be a car salesmen, even though I haven’t learned anything about actually selling a car, so my training was happening real time, and this also meant that I now have to sell cars, and that I can earn more money than just my basic salary. 

In my first month that I was there I met a bunch of people in my department and within that first month three of these guys and a girl quite, they did not get fired, they left, they always talked about the place being way quit and that they haven’t sold even one car after being there for months already. 

I did not listen to them, I thought that they were just bad salesmen, they were always talking about today is the day I am going to sell all the cars on the floor, or they would always talk about “ almost selling a car” or they would say things like, I am not yet into the game as I am just warming up.

It always seemed like they were positive, that they were going to come right any moment and make the best of what they have available, yet nothing ever happened. 

I have talked to them a lot, I would ask them how much money do they make a month as a car salesmen, they would reply, that they have only been living off their basic salary, which is nothing if you have a home a family and all those things. 

They would say things to me like – I will sell cars soon and make more money, then afterwards they would complain bout everything they can, they would complain about things that is actually quite solid in evidence to be so, there is not customers, there is no car sales happening, there is no new customers coming in, the floor is dead.

And this is where I have seen the “paranoia” come in, because these guys do want to sell cars, they want to make money, so they stay positive, they remain optimists, they remain in the light of possibilities, yet this light usually only blinds people to not see what’s really happening, and around the third or fourth month that the guys have been there, they suddenly quite, they leave.

I started working there in the month that it was the third or fourth month for those guys being there, so I met them all and I said good bye to them as well. 

Here is the interesting part, as I listened to these guys and heard their stories and as I saw what happened to them and how they ended up, I started becoming paranoid, I started worrying that I would end up just like them, because from what I saw, it was quite real the negativity, or the facts in other words. 

BUT I remained positive, because I was paranoid, I said to myself, this will not happen to me, I have a great personality, I have skills that I still have to put to the test, I still have all these things that I can play with to make it work for myself, unlike them. 

YET all that positivity came from me being paranoid that what is happening to others and what did happen to them might and can happen to me, and then what? They were basically fucked, they were left without money, they had to make a decision between wasting time for almost no money and quitting their jobs and using the time to get better jobs to make money that is actually able to sustain their lives. 

As the months past and new guys came in and started working with me, I am now seeing the exact same thing happening to all four of us, the one guy is getting fired this month is he does not sell more cars than one, the manager for asked to step down as a new manager was put in place to see if that is a solution, the other guy isn’t making any money and needs to make money to support his kids in another province, and I haven’t sold one car in the four months I have been there. 

Here is how I used positivity to hide and cloak the paranoia, the reality, the facts when and as I started happening to me and still is…….

To be continued.