Day 299 – Do this Do that Do this Do that...

Today I had a reaction, more of a built up, a guy at work told me a week ago that I must not do everything all the other salesmen are asking me, they will take advantage of me, and once I give into helping them they will make it a habit, this advise I took, because he said, you are here to learn from this one guy, so don’t go doing everything for all the other salesmen, I said ok, but doing things for others is good training so that I will know I am able to do everything that is required to do and I will know how to do it best and that I can always do it, he Said NO, you must say No.

So the reaction from today came from a week long period after he told me that, HE has been asking me to do everything he can for him, even though I am not under his training, it is interesting to observe how he is doing exactly what he warned me to Not do for the others and now it seems he got me to himself LOL.

So the example will be as follow, he comes to work with his car, he parks it in a certain spot, later during the day he has to move it, literally like ten meters away, so he is standing outside doing nothing at that moment but he will call me and then when I come he will say, can you move that car for me, he puts the keys in my hands and he will say, just put it right over there, so I reacted, this has been happening daily a lot, He will ask me to do things like this all the time, I am not training with him but he is in the same office as me and the other guy, so it seems it has become a convenience for him.

I must remove this reaction and the built up which is through the back chat I have and which starts with the observations I make that is always already set within Judgment. Because I can see that if I continue the reaction/built-up that I will compromise and sabotage myself at some point within reacting, and not even towards him maybe, but towards someone else, like the boss or manager when they ask me to do something that I judge as stupid with the back chat that I have already trained to sound justifiable and full of reason.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the reactions about the other person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the reaction Is within me and thus I must deal with the reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards the other person when and as he asks me to do something for him that I judge as Stupid and that he can do it himself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and take it personal when and as the other person asks of me to do something that I judge as stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge what the other person ask of me as stupid and to within that have the back chat of @why can’t he do it himself he must be lazy@.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the other person that asks of me to do things that I judge as stupid and small as being lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of 'why can’t he do it himself, he must be lazy ‘to exist within me and to move and direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of seeing the other guy just using me so that he can do nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have secret back chat of @he must be using me just because he knows he can@ to exist within me and to direct me as reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a irritating feeling/emotion towards the other guys and so every time he calls me I am already within a reaction towards him as a preparation of a defence system for him to NOT ask me anything, seeing and realizing how this is compromising me and my effectiveness for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create resistance towards work and being at work in the expectation anticipation of him asking me to just do stupid little thing she whole time that I find to be tiring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that it is all the small things that is asked of to do that is tiring me out, seeing and realizing that it is not the things I am doing but that Thoughts and the back chat and the experiences I create that tire me out as a excuse and a way of seeking attention to say LOOK I worked hard and you tired me out, that I can and may later on use as a excuse when I react and have an argument to use as @look you make me tired asking me to do all these small things you can do yourself all the time while I am here to learn from the other guy and you just use me all the time and now I am losing out on learning, seeing and realizing that this is revealing my true nature as me not being able to handle myself and my job within and as breathe and thus I must breath and stop all mind participation before it is too late and consequences will be faced.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that it is the work I am doing that tires me out, seeing and realizing it is the secret work I am doing in my Mind while I am doing nothing that is actually tiring me out and thus already within that compromising and sabotaging myself from being effective and successful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that being tired all the time is already a consequence of participating within the mind.

I commit myself to when and as I wake up to Breathe and to let go of all expectations/anticipations and to clear myself effectively from all thoughts/projections of the day so that I can be here and start fresh every breathe and move myself effectively as myself for myself.

I commit myself to when and as the other guy asks of me to do something to take a deep breath and to look within me what is here as the energy/reactions which only takes a few seconds and to NOT give them any attention as being real, but to be self honest about them and to forgive myself and let it go, and to within that move myself and breathe. Till i can see and practically know I can do it as much as possible as long as possible without ever reacting or being moved by reaction.

I commit myself to when and as I see that if I do react to take a deep breath and to within self honesty realize that it is NOT real and that it is MY own experience of myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the limitation and a pre-programmed being that has a set of programmes within me that always compromise and sabotage me from moving within the system and becoming successful and changing this fucking world once and for all.

I commit myself to let go of all self interest that I face during the day and to apply myself within NO morality when and as I see that I am faced with pre-programming and to effectively direct myself to move within the best interest of all life and that this movement isn’t limited to time and space and to what I can do and cannot do and what I like to do or not like to do but that this movement is always doing what needs to be done till it is done (change the human and change the world to that which is best for all life).