Day 255 - The Pattern of Who I Am Every Day Part 4

Day 255 - The Pattern of Who I Am Every Day Part 4

So why do I create nasty stuff in secret about others and about certain points? Why do I take the time and spend the time in my head in secret to talk about other people, to judge other people and to categorize other people and to label other people and to place things on and over other people in my mind.

Well that is the point where I face who I have accepted and allowed myself to be, because it is who I am that decides what I do.

Self Forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create nasty stuff in secret within my mind about other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the imagination as the mind as NOT reality where I judge and gossip and do all kinds of nasty in my head about others and everything that is always secret, not seeing and realizing that the fact that it is happening in my mind is already all the proof I need to show me that I am making it all up and that it is never real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that anything going on in my head that isn’t darkness and emptiness is nasty, even if it seems positive or negative, the fact that its happening in secret shows that is itself interest and dishonest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within secret in my mind as gossip as back-chat and thoughts towards and about others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have conversations in my mind about other people and or things, seeing and realizing how I create my own beliefs/ideas/opinions within my mind which is always made up and not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others and to within this create and make gossip within my mind towards them as if they are always on the wrong and where i am always right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people and that they might abuse me or misuse me or take advantage of me and to within this create separation within my mind through gossiping and having back chat and nasty thought about them to make the separation seem real to validate the fear I have, not seeing and realizing that the separation in reality in seeing with my real eyes is and can never be real and that it is only a illusion kept alive in the mind through the constant gossip/back-chat in the mind.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I am the one creating what I fear of other humans through the act of participating in my mind as back-chat and gossip towards them and about them, making things up in my mind based on assumptions and mind interpreting observations which is always limited to my own Mind and what in there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that what I fear of others within my mind as abusing me or misusing me or taking advantage of me is exactly what i am doing onto them first through participating in my mind in gossip and back-chat about them, seeing and realizing what a hypocrite I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within secret thoughts towards other people or things in my world as a way of always defending my own fears, not seeing and realizing that I am the problem and the creator of my own fear and that it isn’t the other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am responsible for how i experience myself through what I accept and allow within me and that I can always only be the one responsible for what’s inside of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I react towards other people when they ask me something or talk to me that it is not them creating the reaction but that it is all my secret thoughts/back-chat/gossip that I have had in my mind previously that now comes to surface, seeing and realizing how I have created the reaction and the fear and the anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when I react when someone asks of me something to do for them that they are not abusing me or misusing me or taking advantage of me for simply asking something of me, but that it is the mind that will feel this way to fight for limitations and fears and to always be the winner to do the least work as a way to fuel the mind with more back chat and gossip and thoughts that keeps the enslavement of energy going.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question why is it that the mind wants to react and defend and fight for limitations and to always want to win and confirm the fears that I have as being real, and that i simply accepted and allowed it as normal behavior without any questioning and Why.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the mind does not need any specific reason to win that makes sense, as all that mind wants is energy to feel something, either good or bad as it is a addiction the physical body has been forced to be addicted to through acceptances and allowances and thus the back chat and gossip and thought that happen in secret is like building secret weapons to fight for anything to win to get a rush or energy even if it is for one’s own limitation and enslavement to energy as the mind.

To be continued.