Everyone I knew including myself, we all only
look for that lover = sex partner, we do this from young ages till we die, we
start seeking sex everywhere, we only see sex, we see a coke bottle as a
females body, we see boobs/ass/legs in everything, when we talk to girls we focus on
their bodies most probably all the time.
Till we die, is this the purpose that God has
made for our existence – I mean people always told me god's plan for you only he
knows, yet everything in my life was only to obtain sex, get sex, the way I
walked, the way I talked, the things I did, the sports I loved, the type of
cigarettes I smoked, it all was a personality I created a EGO that is like a
trap, to get that one girl to love me and give me sex.
Every time I said I love you to a girl, there
was this little hidden voice, desire behind those words, saying “i want to fuck
you” I want to have sex with you, can I have sex with you now, I love you alright can we do it already. - what made gods plan so special if sex was the only thing running my life, I became christian to get sex - it worked, I do not belief in god though.
I can not completely speak for the girls here,
but I guess they have it similar.
I know all guys are the same, I hang out with
multiple, thousands of different guys in my life, we are all the same,
SEX SEX SEX seriously. Males talk about sex in everything, I remember in
grade 7 two friends of mine that was a little bit over weight could push their
chests together and it looked like boobs, they would do this in-front of each other and actually end up “pretending having sex with each other, at school,
with cloths on, but still, it shows you at what age kids have already
made/decided sex is what life is all about.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to belief that LIFE is all about chasing after sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to belief that LIFE is all about getting sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to belief males and females are created only for the purpose of
finding and making sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to see females as sexual objects and that is their purpose here
on earth to be used for sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to be brainwashed through a educational system that has no true
integrity on LIFE and real values but to only teach us about the system and
survival and where sex is left for each person to be something hidden that
consumes our life's and become the one thing we crave as we were never properly
openly educated about it, it was mostly kept secret and left in the hands of kids to do and make of it as they please, the perfect place to breed all kinds of weird shit, addictions possessions etc which is only an indicator that even the adults do not know shit and are the same, sins of the fathers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to be brainwashed by society and the TV,movies,media that sex
is all a male wants and needs and have to get in his life to live LIFE,
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to consume my life with only thinking about sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to consume my mind with thoughts/back chat and pictures of sex
everyday as if is all life is about and can be, blinding me from life here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to fill myself up with desired pictures that got brainwashed
into me through pictures I watched such as porn and movies or magazines and to literally
make the desire my life, my goal, my achievement.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to make life decisions based on my sexual desires, realizing
that if I make a life decision only because I belief taking that life route
will bring me sex with a certain desire I have that only exist in my mind, it
will most probably never happen and thus I compromised and sabotaged my whole life
for a picture.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to act and change my behavior in certain ways to attract a
female that I desire for sex and to within that develop “another personality
for myself for that particular desire, realizing that I am only creating
multiple personalities for myself according to all different sexual desires I
have, and in the end may end up with a disease caused through my own doing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to literally mind fuck myself through creating all of me as who
I am as a certain personality/personalities to get sex in my life, separating
myself from all life and only to exist as a picture seeking another picture
that will simply end at death as I had no relevance to life at all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to CHANGE around certain women in the hope for sex – future relationship to gain sex, realizing the fact that I could change for that must tell me there
is something really wrong, as I have secret thoughts,back chat, desires that
lurk within me that no one knows about till it is activated when I am around
the desired picture – exposing me as the demon I am as the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to create and built my personality/ego according to porn and how
I see sex id done in the picture screen that I am watching believing it is
real, and when I encounter a real living women in the flesh I access this
ego/personality to hope for the gain of sex, realizing that I am playing out
like a robot and that if the moment of sex comes I will be less than the porn I
watched, because the porn was all a show and I made it real in my mind and
actually accordingly designed myself to a picture show just for sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to only thing about sex when I am talking to females.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to present myself as someone that does not want sex when talking
to females while in my secret mind I think and compare and look and only have
sex on my mind, realizing that this is one step away from what a rapist
is/does/do and that it is all programmed into me through
TV.movies/porn/magazines and the educational system in this world and thus it
isnt real and its all only in the mind to enslave and imprison self to a
limited reality so that self can not realize self as LIFE as all that is here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to only analyze females when I see them and to see if they match
any of my mind created desires for what I want and if sex with the female is
possible and if I would want to do it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to only interact with females that I belief I have a chance of
having sex with and ignore the rest.
OK so this was a into to what I am going to
start writing about, I basically touched each point here in a self forgiveness statement, I am not going to make a series of blogs here on each point I touched,
giving a little bit of info and then deconstructing the points with self
forgiveness.
So stay tuned and lets show how fucked we are
as males as ego and that we can rebirth and change yourself, I start with myself.
I also strongly suggest to follow the hyper links for far more support and assistance.
To be continued.
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