Why am I insecure I
asked myself today, I looked at the point and I saw that I had a belief about
myself, that I have hidden things with in me that I fear can be exposed.
I can not see what
the things are that I fear that can be exposed right now, I just know it is a
feeling, a fear and that it is based on an idea that I have about myself as
being bad as being wrong.
I have created a
personality for myself that defends me (my insecurities) no matter what, as long as I do not have to
feel insecure, the ego/personality that I have created as the guy who can
handle anything, that has no problems and that knows anything and can do
anything, giving all the good qualities as a image of myself within a
presentation of myself to others so that they will not find the weak spots, the
bad with in me and expose me.
This only makes the
insecurity bigger and more, because now that I have created this personality
that everyone known me as, I also fear being exposed as a fake, because that
is what I am actually, when I present myself a certain way while inside me it is
different as the experience.
I asked myself in
self honesty, why and when will it stop, why can I not simply stop in one
breath, why am I allowing this, because I still had fear, fear of the unknown,
what will happen if I let go of my insecurities, who will I be/become,
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and be insecure about myself.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with in the feeling of
being insecure.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being bad and that
it is wrong and bad what I have with in me and that I have to hide it, and that
if it has to ever be expose it will mean the end of me, realizing that if what I
am hiding with in me has to be exposed, that the only end it will bring to me
is my ego as energy as that which I hold onto as being important to hide and
generating the mind consciousness system with in me as a energetic enslavement
and limitation that is now imposed onto and with in my physical reality,
compromising and sabotaging me and my reality with in applying myself
effectively and openly with in the principal of what is best for all life.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate my insecurities and giving
them attention as if they are important, realizing that through these actions I
am actually keeping my insecurities alive and growing, instead of stopping and
breathing and walking through the insecurities to see what is real and what is
not, to face myself as my insecurities and to basically get over it and move on
with my life.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposing myself as who I have
accepted and allowed myself to be/become, realizing that only through self
exposure can I truly see what is here and what is real and not, and only once I
see for myself with in self honesty and common sense and gaining the
understanding that I give to myself or receive through others support, can I
take self responsibility and change as that which is best for all life and
start living life instead of hiding and keeping myself alive in
fear/anxiety/stress.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my insecurities
after holding onto them for so lone, that I cna not see how I can live with out
them, realizing that I will actually only start living once I let go of them through
self forgiveness and self honesty.
What am I insecure
about.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about all the thoughtI ever had and that they can be exposed for all to see, and that I will with in
such exposure diminish myself and never be able to face myself again.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I had to ever be
exposed for all the thoughts I ever had that I will only diminish and not be
able to face myself or others, I realize that I can change this through self
forgiveness and thus support and assist myself to see and realize that all
insecurities has only been self created and thus it is not real but only a way
to hide from facing self and changing to that witch is best for all life.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about sexuality and
that if I had to ever expose all my sexual thoughts/fantasies/desires and what
I have done in my life in relation to sex and masturbation that I will not be
able to face other people or look them in the eyes, realizing that this is only
my interpretation and self judgment and that I am the one that has to forgive
myself and face myself and that it is not about others forgiving me, but me
forgiving me and living the change and taking self responsibility.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about who I am
currently in my entirety as all of me with in myself and with out as the my
physical body and appearance.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about speaking up and
not hiding my common sense and standing up for life as I judge myself as being
to young and not good enough and not capable yet, realizing that as long as I hold
back and hide with in myself I will never be ready till I take the step of
standing and taking self responsibility head on for all of me as what I have
accepted and allowed to exist with in and with out.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as negative and
positive, creating good points and bad points with in myself and thus creating
the insecurities and the ego.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about sharing my
actual real time experience with certain people that I have identified as being
superior with in my life and that if I had to share with them my actual
experience that i will be seen as less than, realizing it is only me who will
see myself as less than as it is only my self judgment with in me, thus I
realize I must stop the self judgment and simply face myself with in my
writings and self forgiveness so that i may stand and walk as that which is
best for all life in all ways.
Commitments.
I commit myself to
when ever I see I am going into feeling like hiding from a certain situation
scenario because I see that if I take part in the scenario I may be confronted
with facing my insecurities, that I will take a breathe and not allow my fear and
insecurity to direct m and giving permission for its continued existence, but
to go there and see for myself what it is that I fear and feel insecure about.
I commit myself to
take on all points where I have a resistance with in going/doing with in myself
and to go there and to see what it is that I fear and feel insecure about
facing as myself and to write and do self forgiveness on the points, using the
tools I have been given to support myself with in changing myself as that which
is best for all life as Life, as me.
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