This is a continuation of Day 231 – Emotional Body and Childhood Memory Part 3.1
Self-Forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear new tasks that is asked of me to do, within the belief that I will not be able to do it.
Why do I fear new tasks?
I for forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself as my failures and to within that create a point of fear within me towards the general point of new tasks.
How do I fear new tasks?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I fear new tasks to instead of facing such fear within taking the task on, create a resistance towards any and all new tasks and judge it as not for me and that it isn’t what I do as a way of escaping the point to never face it, as I have not created a character that Fear new tasks that is asked of me that will require me to do more.
Continue.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I will be when and as I fail a task.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of failing a task.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I have identified myself as, as the experience of when I fail, as being all emotional and crying and experiencing myself as that, seeing and realizing that I can decide who I am in each breathe and that as long as I keep repeating the past within me I will create it so in reality, instead of breathing and giving myself a new clean slate.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as emotional and weak and incapable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist and avoid any and all tasks that require me to push myself beyond the beliefs I have of myself as I fear that once I push myself I can not handle it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being pushed either by myself or others as the pushing itself already is a indication that to me that I cannot do it myself and require help which to me is a indication that I am incapable.
New memory – “Being Bullied in Grade two (8 years old in a new school) I am pushed around on the stairs and falling down, with three younger guys (7 years old) laughing at me while pulling me on the floor and pushing me down on the ground and feeling powerless and confusion to what happening, till I cried and they stopped as other’s intervened.” For new Blog.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that when and as I am being pushed by myself or others that it is a indication of disbelieve within them towards me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret being pushed as being a indication from everyone else that I am not capable and to within this create the fear of not being capable and that it will only confirm within others that I am not capable if I fail and thus feel less and inferior even before the task is done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within participating within the mind as interpretations of what others are saying to me to create thoughts of projections of me failing and not being good enough, and to within this create the negative energetic experience of fear and anxiety within myself towards what has to come.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to what I think and belief others think and belief of me, instead of focusing on what needs to be done in and as breathe and see what is here and do it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a failure within my mind way before anything has even happened, never giving myself a chance.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and belief failure to be Bad, due to programming within the system of the current world that is based on winners and losers and that it should determine who we are, never giving us the chance to actually learn and the mind created expectation is based on that you only have one chance and that is it. seeing and realizing that within an equal money system failure will be okay and that it will be a point of learning as nothing within an equal money system will determine your life or future based on if you win or lose, be rich or poor to have a life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that when and as I am asked by others to do a task that seems extreme within my mind and that requires physical durability and strength to belief and feel that I am being abused, seeing and realizing that it is only the mind taking reality and interpreting reality and thus it isn’t what is seems to be in fact and cannot be trusted.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the energetic emotion of feeling abused to having to do things for others where it is required that I have to push my body into uncomfortable situation to accomplish these expectations other have of me and where for a moment I will not enjoy myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not se and realize that because I have had a comfortable life where I always could decide what to do and when I want to do it or if I want to or not that when something is asked of me that requires me to go out of my comfort zone.
To be continued.
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