Day 184 – Spiritualism and Me Part 2

Continuation of: 

Day 182 – The Day I said F*** Spiritualism.

Day 183 – Spiritualism and Me Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within spiritualism because I saw that it serves self interest and is easy, not seeing and realizing that as spiritualism promotes self interest to the ultimate degree - that is Greed and the very thing that is the cause of almost all suffering on earth, and through me participating within spiritualism as love and light and believing in a spiritual realm and others things that distract me and all those I poison with spiritualism from the physical reality and to do something real to change the world to a place that is best for all life that I am the cause of the world spiraling to its destruction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Go for spiritualism because I saw it was easy and that no real change was required in fact, but only me having to built more characters that can pretend to be something else and be special and feel good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Hide the fact that I knew when I participated in spiritualism that it wasn’t working and wasn’t real because I had to always pretend and act and make it all up, yet I would promote it as truth and real for others just so that i can give the impression it is working for me and thus it must mean I am special and seeking that within others and for them to recognize it as I lie to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Lie to other beings about spiritualism and all that it includes as LOA and the white light and Reiki and Crustal healing and astral traveling and spiritual communication and that I was able to do some of those things just be feel special and to within that built a Lie of myself in others eyes that I fear breaking through telling them the truth as it will reveal the true me as a Liar and a deceptive cunt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Play with other human beings and their lives through Lying to them about my spiritual experiences and making them feel like they are missing out and that there is something more to life that they are missing and thus they are not as good as me as I have had these experiences first hand yet knowing it is a full on LIE in their faces just to get a kick out of to feel good about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enforce all myself judgments and insecurities and fears of myself through participating in something that promotes the opposite as a solution, not seeing and realizing that the more I participated within the opposite side as spiritualism as happiness and feeling good and being enlightened that I was in the polarity side in secret in my mind only enforcing the negative as the positive requires the negative to exist and so only make myself feel more insecure, more fearful and more depressed as I felt more and more like this I had to make myself belief that I was getting happier and happier and achieving more and more spiritual things to suppress the secret inner world of myself, never solving anything but only enforcing ignorance and bliss while the world shows the true nature of what I was enforcing as everything getting worse and worse and more suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that spiritualism is a solution when and as I can see with the physical evidence that is here for all to see equally and confirm that in the thousands of years that spiritualism has had its chance to change the world to a place that is best for all life – that life on earth has only gotten way worse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that spiritualism is a product that is sold to people so that money can be made, since it promotes happiness and bliss that which everyone wants in life it is like a fly trap and very easy to get trapped with as it only requires gullible people to make it work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if spiritualism was real then no one had to teach me about it, and that if spiritualism was real then I would have known about if from birth as a part of who I am, yet spiritualism is something that has to be taught and practiced for decades with no results as it requires people to constantly be in the mind keeping it alive never in fact becoming a living state as self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I was born that all that was/is here is the physical and no one had to teach me about it or show it to me or give me teachings from ancient times so that I could understand it, as I am the physical in fact and can be confirmed by all equally and myself, and thus as this is proof that what is here is being ignored and neglected through giving value and attention to something irrational in the minds of people in search for more just so that people do not have to face what is actually required to change this world to a place that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that all the time I spend in my mind in attempting and trying to make spiritualism real – I could have made a real impact in that same time on what IS HERE and is REAL s the physical and create a better world for all.
To be continued.