I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as a thought come up within me, to judge myself for having a thought.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being un-able to stop a small insignificant thing such as a thought.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the thought as bad.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a certain opinion about the thought that come up within me, connecting a negative or positive energy to the thought.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge the thought that comes up within me, either as negative or positive - dependant on the opinion I have given it, and to then accordingly punish myself for having the thought through having back chat within myself about the thought.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a conversation with myself after I have/had a thought coming up within me only provoking more thoughts and irrational thoughts through the fear of having thoughts, as I have judged thoughts as being something to fear as they may be dirty or ugly or disgusting and as the thoughts that come up within me does not always fit the Iage and idea I have about myself and thus when and as thoughts come up within me which I do not know what they will be, I fear what they will be, because I know what exist within me and the thoughts will only show me to me as what I accept and allow to exist within me and this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thoughts within me as I know they are within me and only me, as they are my thoughts, knowing that they are always evil and not what is best for all life, knowing that they can still come up within me because they are the parts I hide of me from others in secret in my mind, and that the image and likeness I present to the world is threatened by the thoughts that come up within me as it will expose that who I give myself forth to be isnt who I am in secret.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the thoughts that come up within me, I can only fear them as long as I have a certain belief about myself, and that the thoughts which is evil will expose and show to me that the belief I have of myself is a Lie and that the thoughts is also a lie and that my whole life has been a lie and that I must n fact re-birth all of me as life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to present a certain image to people around me of me being a perfect person while I have evil thoughts that come to me in sudden un-predictable moments and that I will only react to the thoughts if I have false I am of myself that is threatened by the thoughts as it will expose me for who I truly am as the evil in this world.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be completely self honest with myself about who I am and what exist within me, and that I have hidden who I am and in return presented an image and likeness to the world that is the opposite of that which i hide, thus making it obvious what I am hiding.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the reason I react to the thoughts coming up within me is because I have suppressed the thoughts and HID them away from others in secret, and every time the thought pops up I go into fear and anxiety and stress about it as I fear the thoughts will be exposed and ALL of the world will know who I am in my dirty mind while I give forth a complete false image of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as long as I have something to hide I will always be subject to what I hide, and live in complete limitation as the fear/anxiety/stress that I create for myself in the attempt to always hide the secret mind, instead of realizing that I must take self responsibility for me and only means what I accept and allow within the space within myself and to stop all abuse and to forgive myself and not hide and bottle it all up, as I can see that the self hatred/frustration/anger is growing as I keep suppressing and only building up the hate more and more towards myself and never breathing but only constantly grabbing thoughts in fear of them being exposed and squeezing them into a bottle (me) and putting a lid on them as if they do not exist.
To be continued.
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