Is Desteni Just a Phase? Process Support Vlog 2016

Day 148 – Living Commitments – Day 19 of 21 – False Image - Stability

Image of what I would Like instead of being in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be Stable as a Image of my likeness of being stable, realizing that within this I am but only am image and thus the stability isn’t real as who I am as the physical as breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Focus on a Image that I like of what I belief to present stability and to only be concerned about this image and to present myself as stable to show to others that I have Changed and am stable now – look at me I am stable, seeing and realizing that within this I never look inward at myself as the thoughts/feelings/emotions and only suppress and deny all thoughts/feelings/emotions and thus create a build up of anxiety/fear/stress.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as I suppress/deny the thoughts/feeling/emotions within me just to sustain the Image of stability I become anxious/stressed as the thoughts/feelings/emotions built up and the image becomes fragile and thus I go into fight or flight mode where I attack/react to everything and everyone that threatens to break the image I have of myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I access fight or flight mode when I have suppressed/denied what goes on within me and only bottled it up while I present an image that is seemingly stable, and that anyone or anything that can Cause Instability within me through creating more thoughts/feelings/emotions is seen as a threat and I will thus either run/hide or impose/fight to not show what is truly going on within me but to rather sustain the exclusionary image of stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself through presenting an image of stability to all those around me within the suttle belief that it will make me stable, yet it is only making me more reactive/angry and irritated and thus only becoming a danger to myself as I will do anything to defend myself to keep the image instead of simply focusing on MySelf and what I accept and allow within me in each moment and to write and self forgive what is going on within me and to actually stabilize myself as breathe in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief it is wrong to “look” unstable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as “weak” when I do not seem stable.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to work through the points in my life that I face daily as myself unconditionally even if it means I will be unstable for a moment and not LOOK right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people that seem “unstable” and thus I want to always look stable in order to not be seen as a fear factor to others, yet I become a danger to myself through pretending and not working on my daily points just to keep up with the image.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that if I have thoughts and I am working through them and I look unstable – which will show all around me that I am in thoughts that I will be seen as weak and unable to stop thoughts, and to instead of working through the thoughts I instead Look stable and suppress/deny thoughts which creates a inner bomb. Thus I realize it is best for myself to rather look unstable but to at least work on the points in the moments and to purify myself so that I can be stable in fact as breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to present myself in my actions and my image as someone that is stable and better than everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that stability is not with how one looks and present themselves, stability is self here as breathe, and breathe is possible in all physical ways and not within a perfect picture Idea of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as unstable, not seeing and realizing that within the fear of not being stable I act out a character that pretends to be stable on the outside, not seeing and realizing that within doing this where I make stability a picture I do not look/focus on what is going on within me but rather on the outside, causing me to become unstable within what is going on within me and bottling it all up but never expressing it just to keep the image.

To be Continued.

Day 147 – Living Commitments – Day 18 of 21 - False Image and Likeness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I find it hard to breathe through experiences or to stop thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as a thought come up within me, to judge myself for having a thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being un-able to stop a small insignificant thing such as a thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the thought as bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a certain opinion about the thought that come up within me, connecting a negative or positive energy to the thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge the thought that comes up within me, either as negative or positive - dependant on the opinion I have given it, and to then accordingly punish myself for having the thought through having back chat within myself about the thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a conversation with myself after I have/had a thought coming up within me only provoking more thoughts and irrational thoughts through the fear of having thoughts, as I have judged thoughts as being something to fear as they may be dirty or ugly or disgusting and as the thoughts that come up within me does not always fit the Iage and idea I have about myself and thus when and as thoughts come up within me which I do not know what they will be, I fear what they will be, because I know what exist within me and the thoughts will only show me to me as what I accept and allow to exist within me and this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thoughts within me as I know they are within me and only me, as they are my thoughts, knowing that they are always evil and not what is best for all life, knowing that they can still come up within me because they are the parts I hide of me from others in secret in my mind, and that the image and likeness I present to the world is threatened by the thoughts that come up within me as it will expose that who I give myself forth to be isnt who I am in secret.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the thoughts that come up within me, I can only fear them as long as I have a certain belief about myself, and that the thoughts which is evil will expose and show to me that the belief I have of myself is a Lie and that the thoughts is also a lie and that my whole life has been a lie and that I must n fact re-birth all of me as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to present a certain image to people around me of me being a perfect person while I have evil thoughts that come to me in sudden un-predictable moments and that I will only react to the thoughts if I have false I am of myself that is threatened by the thoughts as it will expose me for who I truly am as the evil in this world.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be completely self honest with myself about who I am and what exist within me, and that I have hidden who I am and in return presented an image and likeness to the world that is the opposite of that which i hide, thus making it obvious what I am hiding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the reason I react to the thoughts coming up within me is because I have suppressed the thoughts and HID them away from others in secret, and every time the thought pops up I go into fear and anxiety and stress about it as I fear the thoughts will be exposed and ALL of the world will know who I am in my dirty mind while I give forth a complete false image of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as long as I have something to hide I will always be subject to what I hide, and live in complete limitation as the fear/anxiety/stress that I create for myself in the attempt to always hide the secret mind, instead of realizing that I must take self responsibility for me and only means what I accept and allow within the space within myself and to stop all abuse and to forgive myself and not hide and bottle it all up, as I can see that the self hatred/frustration/anger is growing as I keep suppressing and only building up the hate more and more towards myself and never breathing but only constantly grabbing thoughts in fear of them being exposed and squeezing them into a bottle (me) and putting a lid on them as if they do not exist.

To be continued.

Day 145 – Living Commitments – Day 16 of 21 – The trick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the trick is to breathe when And as I am within a certain a experience that I believe I cannot get out of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the trick is to Breathe and to be consistent with breathe, realizing that when and as I “forget” to breathe in awareness I give way for the mind to play and “mind control” me as I am not as the breathe here physically moving and directing myself, but being directed by the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions that lead to me creating experiences that I trap myself within.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when and as I breathe in awareness IN and OUT as Me as the Physical that the breathe Fills up the space within me and that there is then no Space for the mind as Thoughts/feelings/emotions and thus I am here in awareness instead of in a state of Mind control where I give Thoughts/feelings/emotions the space within me as “entities” to take me as the Flesh/Body and control me for its self interest/purposes and thus leaving me with the experiences as the after math where I am trapped within unless I breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted And allowed myself to to not see and realize that all experiences is created by me through my acceptances and allowances within me and what I participate within, like giving a demon (energy) permission to take the body and fuck around and to belief that it is me, yet who I am is the Flesh/Body one and equal as all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the trap of believing that anything of the mind is me, when in fact the real actual evidence as my breath always show me that I am here as the physical, rendering all inner experiences False and a lie to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to be an automated machine that simple go into thought/feelings/emotions without any question and to belief they are real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am programmed from childhood that thoughts/feelings/emotions are normal through the observations I made of those that has gone before me, and that I was never educated on what they are and how they are created and where they come from, but to simple accept and allow the input as an organic robot, seeing and realizing that when and as I breathe I give me back to myself here as the breathe as the flesh as Who I am and to stop being a brainwashed mind controlled robot and to actually start living in consideration of LIFE as that which is best for all Life as the physical as the one dimension we all share in fact and can be validated by all on earth as being here in fact.

I commit myself to show that when and as one Breathe in awareness IN and Out that thought isn’t possible and that thinking becomes a struggle as the mind isn’t granted space within self to take control of self and to move the flesh around like a zombie dependent on the input of thoughts/feeling/emotions.

I commit myself to Practice Breath in awareness till I am the breathe as LIFE one and equal as the physical as that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to show that Breathing in Living and that living is possible without he mind as everything learned actually happens on a physical level and not the mind, as the mind is but a storeAGE place for everything undirected within the human as a outflow of a lack of proper education on what Life is.