Day 108 – Survival Characters Part 3 – Social Surviver.

So here I am still continuing on the How’s of how the social character comes into play as a continuation of Day 107 and Day 106.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I go into fear of not being accepted by a group/people and fitting in as not being “loved” to create a character that is acceptable by the others through actually imitating the others in behavior and characteristics of what is accepted by the group based on fear with the intention to be loved.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that seeking approval and love from others is all based on fear, and thus in the name of fear of not being accepted and allowed I will accept and allow the abuse that is currently existent within this world as the characters that I created that is dependent on the fear to be loved even if it means being a bully or calling other kids names, and thus seeing and realizing that through this seeking for love out of fear of not being accepted and to Justify the world the way it exist now because my character is now dependent on the way the world exist and because I get love from the character I created I do not want to change the world out of the fear of losing my love that the character needs to be accepted to not have to face the fear and the world that is here as all the abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify the way the world currently is/exist as for teh sake of being loved out of the fear of that if the world changes that I will lose the reasons/justifications/excuses for why I am loved as the characters that I built from the abused world and not to lose the characters out of fear of losing the love, realizing that the love is based on fear and that they both are one of the same and thus realize that I am using love to hide the fear that is always here as me as that which i have separated myself from, instead of facing myself as the fear and to not create a world that is based on fear where people hide behind love and so create more fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that this behavior comes from childhood where parents teach their children fear and love the whole time, and thus when and as I grow up all I seek is fear and love to hide the fear, to run away from the fear.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the fear for not being accepted by others was taught to me by parents within their behavior, where they taught me what to fear and then how to act/behave and built characters to run away from the fer, never teaching me, showing me how to instead walk through the fear and to stop living in fear.

To be continued.