This is a continuation of Day 112. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mind fuck myself within participating in the “I can’t do better” character through making myself belief I can not do better within all the reasons/justifications/excuses I make up and actually validate within my mind as “making sense” within the inner secret conversations as back chat within myself and to within this when the time comes and I have to do something I do it half way instead of expanding myself in learning and becoming better through more effort, and thus seeing and realizing that the “I can’t do better” character is simply a character that is afraid of doing a bit more work and giving it more effort because of the love I have for myself as the character because I have learned in the past where I say or tell someone “I can’t do better” and giving them all the excuses/reasons/justification to defend my own limitations and got away with it and through this learned that it is okay to do thing half way and like an ASS ASSlong as I have the right backup/ammunition for my statement as the character and so fell in love with this character because I felt like I won, I got away with it, I am excused and free because I simply can not do better and everyone else now also beliefs that of me and so I belief that of myself and so my LOVE for my character FUCKED me into limitation and to be a slave to the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am applying myself within doing something and as I apply myself and thoughts come up as to why I CAN’T to give value to these thoughts as real and that they must have meaning and so limit myself as a thought and to remain a slave to my mind.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be self honest with myself within the situation of when and as I am applying myself in doing something that I am aware of all solutions and ways to do better as I have the insight in the moments of application, and that when I do not apply what I see is here and what is shown to me in the moment I go into a state of self diminishing myself and self hatred and then all the reasons/justification/excuses starts as I create them to justify why I was so deliberate in not doing better as I was able to see in the moments, and through this actually create myself as the limited Character that becomes a walking excuse/justification that is always only limiting me instead of expanding me in and as the physical as that which is here as LIFE one and equal.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I am aware of why I do things and when I do them and how I do then and that I actually in each moment make deliberate decisions to not follow through in doing better and so only end up sabotaging myself and my life and my expression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to have have identified myself as the character of “I can not do better” and that it is who I am and will always be who I am, not seeing and realizing within identifying myself as the character as set in stone I am the only one keeping myself limited and trapped within all the self hatred/sabotaging/limitations and diminishing myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as long as I continue to participate within the “I can not do better” character that I will always live in fear and anxiety of other asking me to do things because I know I will act out the character in self defense of do not ask me you know I can t do it, I am not good at doing it, I am not worthy of doing it because I can t do anything good or make anything better and thus I will live in my own pool of emotions/fear/stress/anxiety/reactions because I have automated the self created belief of myself as “I can not do better” and thus created a character out of it to show and live a character that always shows people I can not do better just to not be asked to do thing because of the initial point of energy/experience being in love with the idea of not doing much or even just the bear minimal because I got and saw that I got away with it in the past and that I have connected a feeling of winning to it that I believed gave me power as manipulation of myself and others, not realizing that I only fucked myself in ever expanding and growing and being able to act and express myself in and as the physical one and equal as LIFE as true freedom as breath to be able as that which I create myself as, as WHO I Decide I AM.
to be continued on Self corrective statements.
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