Day 111 – Attracted To Broken Characters Self Forgiveness.

Self forgiveness on Day 110 –Attracted To Broken Characters 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that me being attracted and giving into the feeling of attraction and calling it love towards girls who looks broken in character and that has a past/memories of where they have been hurt and how they have as the “hurt” created and manifested themselves into specific characters that shows the past/memories of abuse in who they are created as themselves and to connect this broken character within my mind as someone I must Save and thus I will be loved by this broken character and so I can love the broken character back, realizing that within this romantic deep feeling relationship of emotional turmoil and inner conflicts that I have as the savior character actually calling such a relationship tough love accepted and allowed the world to remain and continue existing the way it does – a world where people are broken and where heroes rely and wait on people getting hurt just to have a purpose in life – and thus I see and realize we that this is not love, this is two people that came together as their characters In fear – as the broken character needed someone that will not break them anymore and as the hero character needed someone to give him purpose as the hero character fears having no purpose and then they both come together In great FEAR and call it love because they support each other in their accepted and allowed ways as limited characters, instead of seeing and realizing that it is to STOP these characters and to not live as these characters of past and memory and to keep on creating the world as the past/memories and to birth self as new, as ALL LIFE one and equal and to realize how your past was created and that you never want to create it again for any other being on earth and so change the world for that which is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as long as I fall in love or have any attraction towards broken characters that I am within that attraction And loving and liking saying – I am happy this Girl got beaten up or raped or molested or abused and smacked down because now she gives me purpose and so accepting the very evil in this world through the thing called love.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that The Character I have created for myself of my own past memories/experiences are a creation and can only be a creation of the current world that is pure evil as all life is abused in all ways, and thus if I give any value to my character as love and good and helping and caring while the world stays the way it is than I must realize my love my caring and my goodness is but a psychopathically love and validating all evil so that my love may have value and purpose. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I “love” am attracted to Broken characters that I am accepting and allowing them to exist as broken as I made and created my character to feed of their character like a vampire and thus in fact abusing the being and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that me being attracted and falling for broken characters is supporting the creation of broken characters and thus abuse within this world as the creation of the broken characters and a broken world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that me seeking validation and acceptance as love in this world through broken girls that is in need of validating and accepting a hero character in their live I am keeping the world the way it is as my character and the characters I desire and “love” and their creation is dependent on a broken world in need of saving.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that my insecurities and fear of not being accepted and validated by others is dependent on other people as Broken characters to be broken so that I may built a character such as the savior/hero character that will save the broken characters that then will get Love as being accepted and validated, thus realizing that my fear hidden as love is creating and maintaining the world as it currently is here 90% of the planet is abused for self interest out of fear justified as love.

I commit myself to show that love is fear hidden in plain sight and that the love I/humans have for each other is dependent on a broken world that is not best for all life.

I commit myself to when and as I see I go into savior/hero character to stop and look at what the fuck is really going on and why I am accessing such a character that is in need of having to save someone and what does it actually imply in terms of the effects and acceptances and allowances and requirements in this world for such a character to exist and to justify such a character as being loving and how it is justifying the world to exist the way it currently is as abuse to Life and where abuse is accepted and allowed as character building blocks.. 

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