Day 507 – What I learned from Bernard Poolman – Lesson 6

In any moment on the Farm Bernard will surprise you, not daily per say, but at any time any day, it was always unpredictable, and what point he pushes will only then be known, so..


Once again, back in the day, as usual I am walking around the farm busy with some projects and hanging out with Destonians from all over the world. As I enter the kitchen for a coffee stop, Bernard is sitting there in the kitchen talking to other people.

I am just standing around listening to what Bernard is talking about with the other people, a quick distraction with a value bale reason for being distracted, I cannot miss out on what is being discussed lol, while I should be getting out to finding projects.

As I am in the kitchen now, listening to Bernard and all the other people, I am not really getting what is being talked about, because I obviously already missed more than half the conversation, but suddenly Bernard looks around at me and he says – Like Gian here, he has a GIFT, but he refuses to use it, because he enjoys living in fear so much.

Now everyone else is looking at me and Bernard is looking at me and he is saying stuff about me and I have no Idea what he is talking about – like it really took me by surprise, and then Bernard says: he has the gift to communicate with animals, He did it as a child, he played with snakes and spiders, but where is that now? He isn’t using it. But do not worry, Life gave him a gift and is he isn’t using it or abusing it, Life will take it away from him, or teaches him a lesson – because that’s the only way we learn. Perhaps one day he will get bitten by a snake and then it will be too late, because all he had to do was talk to it, but didn’t.

Then out of the group, Bernard looks at me with these really intimidating eyes – that when I looked into them I just felt shame and guilt/regret – because I knew what Bernard was saying was SOOO true, I used to play and communicate with ALL animals freely, none ever harmed me, and now I am just consumed with fear and thoughts and so many conditions/limitations – THE MIND.

And Bernard says: you better get your shit straight, develop your ability again and become worthy of life where Life can trust you again. And he moves on to talking to everyone else.

I walked away really facing my internal reality, facing my thoughts and what I have accepted and allowed of myself – I saw the journey ahead to regain my own trust within myself where I am worthy of life, to be trusted by life, as I was given this gift that others have to work so hard for to have, from birth and abused it, threw it away.

I remembered there was a time I lived without fear, and that for some odd reason I now fear living without fear – this journey of fearlessness and bringing myself HERE still continues to this day – But thank you Bernard for always showing and believing in everyone utmost potential and never accepting anything less.