Day 498 – slowing down – the way of the turtle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider slowing down during my day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up in the morning with a rush inside of me, a rush in the fear of not getting to everything that I need to do, or believe I need to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use energy to manipulate myself into movement to get to everything that I need to do, or believe that I need to do.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I use energy to create a rush within me to manipulate me to move myself to get things done, seeing and realizing that this manipulation that is driven by fear is a form of resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that when I am within energy that is of fear/anxiety/stress that I am using these energies to manipulate me into moving and doing what I need to do.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the reason for this energy manipulation is because I have a resistance to what I need to do, and thus I use force such as fear to rush me to do it, NOT seeing and realizing that the rush within me to move me is showing me a point where I haven’t corrected my relationship towards something within my reality within me, the nature of the relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush myself within all the points in my reality where I have established a relationship within me of a “need to do it” – and thus the relationship is against me and what I want to do, and so create friction, where I have made it about what I do instead of who I am within what I do, thus using energy as a force to force me to do it, creating a rush, so that I can rush through it and just get it over with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Keep myself within this rush mode, never slowing down to actually have time, or a moment to check myself, who I am within the moment and why I am experiencing myself the way I am in each breath and to re align it, to change my relationships in my reality within me.

I thus forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that within slowing down I am able to actually see what is here within using breathing as a grounding tool/earthing myself, where I can slow everything down and catch the thoughts and energies that is directing me, and to take direction/authority of me and change my relationship within myself within/towards what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slowing down will make me lose time and not get to everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect slowing down within and without in my reality that I will not be productive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect negative opinions/believes/ideas to slowing down and being slow within my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I slow down I will be late for something,, seeing and realizing that this is an irrational fear as all fear is irrational, as slowing down within me can be present at all times, even if I am running, and that is the point of slowing down I need to focus on, and to not miss inform myself based on ideas/opinions/believes but to remain practical in a living manner, but to always check that I am quit within me and still like water.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear facing myself when moving slow as who I am within all relationships within me and thus my reality, as I know moving slow will give me time to see and to get real and make real changes that are being avoided within myself and outside of myself by moving fast within me and thus outside of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run away from myself and my reality by living fast, I commit myself to always check myself and to slow down and take a breath and keep breathing, to take a slow phase within me and to stop the abusive patterns that isn’t best for me or for all, and to change these patterns by bringing my awareness to them and to be direct with myself.