Day 328
Day 329
Day 330
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fatherhood is a competition for who can be the best father.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make fatherhood about competition, seeing and realizing from my own life and experience that competition only rushed me and never gave me the chance to develop anything properly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see that competition within fatherhood is but a root of fear and thus only teaching a child fear, instead of how to properly effectively develop something/skills/abilities without it being a competition for a prize as the prize is only momentarily where as the result is forever.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing as a father.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a loser as a father.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I do not compete with other fathers to be the best father that I will lose and the other fathers and their kids will win, be more than me and my kid, seeing and realizing that this is a self-interest fear and not what’s bets for all life as it is about how I will feel and not about how the physical work in fact.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I do not compete with how I raise my child that my child will fall behind within how skillful/intelligent/able my child is, seeing and realizing that this is and has always been only my own fears and what I have faced all my life and thus not my child’s.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already as a father to be project my apparent disabilities that I make myself believe that I have my child’s and to within this want to prevent my child from having these apparent disabilities through acting in fear and within competition, seeing and realizing that I can instead utilize what I have fucked up within myself and see how I did this and how I created it and to within this learn from myself and to give the insight/understanding to my child so that he/she can accordingly make common sense self-honest decisions on the points.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I do not participate within the competition construct within this world with my child as being the father that I will be a failure as a father within the eyes of society.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my child will be born without fear/without thoughts or memories and that what I give is what will be received and thus if and when I fear and I project that fear and live it physically within this world I will teach my child fear instead of prevention and so create what I fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being accountable, seeing and realizing that I fear this because I know I will be held accountable for all outflow and consequences within and as my child.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself within others that has already been fathers to see if I am ready or not, seeing and realizing that I am ready, I just don’t what to be a father like everyone else as it is quite scary what fathers are currently and that it is accepted as normal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use comparison to imprint fear within me through taking what I see with my eyes from other fathers and making it a valid way of being a father and then fear within myself to having to be like that to be a father, seeing and realizing that I do not have to be like any of the fathers within this world to be a father as I am redefining father for myself to that which is best for all life and to bring about a new way of life for all life.
To be continued.
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