I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take in what I see and observe from within my environment within other humans words and behaviors and what they say/do as all being facts and ways of life, and that what I see and learn and hear must be what I must do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what fathers/mothers live and how they raise their children is something that they have learned from a book, seeing and realizing now that I am full grown that there never was a book and it all was simply done from guessing and from those that has gone before them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the scam in my own head that parents and my parents that raised me was qualified first before their had me to be able to raise me, seeing and realizing that I was raised within hope/belief/luck/faith, instead of actual direction and principals that is concrete with concrete results.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a father is someone that has been trained to be a father, and that within everything a father teaches and do and show and tells me was/is always right and the way, seeing and realizing now that I am almost a father and that it was only an idea/expectation I had within my mind of and from the believe I have created about fathers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being pre-pared to be a father.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not living up to the expectations of a father within the idea of what a father must be within society.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I MUST divine myself as a father within societies idea of a father.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into what society wants and needs of me to be an acceptable father, seeing and realizing that the father idea and what is being lived within the current society isn’t what is best for all life as the evidence is within society as the world the humans have created and still accept and allow through the sins of the fathers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my self-confidence within myself to be a father to my child equal and one with how I would/can be a father to all life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing as myself as life identified as a father within society and still to stand as myself within this identity and to not give into society itself and to raise my child within what is best for all life, as common sense/self-honesty/practicality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear society and the expectations of society and what happens as reactions within society when and as those expectations that define a father isn’t met, but instead a new way, a way that is best for all life. For instance no religion/tradition/culture etc, but a living being.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that there is a wrong way of teaching, seeing and realizing that it isn’t about wrong or right, but to teach what is best for all life, as I see and realize that what is right and wrong within society is currently extremely sickening and abusive and thus not best for all to teach my child the rights and wrongs of society to accept and allow, but to instead teach the problems and the solutions as what’s best for all life, to teach common sense and self-honesty where the child will be given tools to have perspectives and insight and to determine through that self honestly what’s best for all life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only wish to teach my child the right way – seeing and realizing that there is no right or wrong way, but only what is best for all life as I see and realize that what is right and wrong within society is currently extremely sickening and abusive and thus not best for all to teach my child the rights and wrongs of society to accept and allow, but to instead teach the problems and the solutions as what’s best for all life, to teach common sense and self-honesty where the child will be given tools to have perspectives and insight and to determine through that self honestly what’s best for all life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposing my child to the bullshit existing within this world that corrupts the children of today, seeing and realizing that if and as I teach my child effective common sense and giving my child to opportunities to develop self-honesty that there is not need for me to fear that or to keep my child from it, as he/she will have the tools to determine what’s BS and what’s not and to make his/her own decisions based on what’s best for all life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a bad father within teaching and being an example, seeing and realizing that it is simply a fear of the mind and thus not real, I must trust myself within and as the physical here breathing and focusing on what’s real as always.
To be continued.
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