continuation of Day 180
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give any and all memories value and that they mean something and that they are special, not seeing and realizing that memories is simply the past and nothing more, and the past isn’t here unless I re-create the past through participating in memories and thus never moving forward and living life but only rewinding and replaying like a broken record.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how ridiculous it is to hold onto memories that only I have in my head and that I can see/look at and play with as if it is real and wasting time and only distracting myself from what is here as reality and to make myself a slave to the past.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Trap the present in memories as prisons of pictures with energetic charges so that when and as I visit the prison cells as the memories are stored in the body in the cells, I can simply call the prisoner by its name and I will get a visitor/memory from the past that is either good or bad and I will get my energetic High from visiting the memory for a moment and then lock the memory back up, not seeing and realizing that I am over populating my prison and keeping it full – which cost energy and time and maintenance, instead of living here in and as the physical where everything is always here and no memory needed and thus no prison and not energy/costs/maintenance/time. And also not carrying the prison cells of memories with me everywhere I go is like taking a mountain of my back.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must fear letting go of memories.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must hold on to memories for some mental reason that has no actual physical practicality except for keeping us all in the past and repeating the past through living in memories.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to ALWAYS make memories more than the present, not seeing and realizing that within this I am making life shit for myself as I constantly compare the present with past memories and the memories will always win as if I am in a contest with myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as long as I hold onto the past and memories and energetic experiences of positive and negative that I am subject to those energies as I give them value.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as long as I connect energy such as feelings/emotions that it can and will be used against me either for positive or negative and that I will be directed by the memory and fall for the trap of re-creating the past, instead of breathing and self directing.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself speaking or telling a story to someone to stop when and as I see that I am doing so from the starting point of praising the past.
I commit myself to when and as someone brings up the past to use it against me as my actions and words from the past to serve their self interest as their starting point for doing so, to realize that as long as I give the past value and an energetic charge then I will be impulse/moved and not be able to stand and breathe in the present here stable as what is here and to not be manipulated and controlled by the past as the past is within the past and NOT who I am unless I decide so, seeing and realizing that memories are only limitation and control and enslavement of the mind.
I commit myself to investigate this point more and to follow up on this point to write it more specific in the future with an actual event to give as context.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give any and all memories value and that they mean something and that they are special, not seeing and realizing that memories is simply the past and nothing more, and the past isn’t here unless I re-create the past through participating in memories and thus never moving forward and living life but only rewinding and replaying like a broken record.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how ridiculous it is to hold onto memories that only I have in my head and that I can see/look at and play with as if it is real and wasting time and only distracting myself from what is here as reality and to make myself a slave to the past.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Trap the present in memories as prisons of pictures with energetic charges so that when and as I visit the prison cells as the memories are stored in the body in the cells, I can simply call the prisoner by its name and I will get a visitor/memory from the past that is either good or bad and I will get my energetic High from visiting the memory for a moment and then lock the memory back up, not seeing and realizing that I am over populating my prison and keeping it full – which cost energy and time and maintenance, instead of living here in and as the physical where everything is always here and no memory needed and thus no prison and not energy/costs/maintenance/time. And also not carrying the prison cells of memories with me everywhere I go is like taking a mountain of my back.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must fear letting go of memories.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must hold on to memories for some mental reason that has no actual physical practicality except for keeping us all in the past and repeating the past through living in memories.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to ALWAYS make memories more than the present, not seeing and realizing that within this I am making life shit for myself as I constantly compare the present with past memories and the memories will always win as if I am in a contest with myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as long as I hold onto the past and memories and energetic experiences of positive and negative that I am subject to those energies as I give them value.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as long as I connect energy such as feelings/emotions that it can and will be used against me either for positive or negative and that I will be directed by the memory and fall for the trap of re-creating the past, instead of breathing and self directing.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself speaking or telling a story to someone to stop when and as I see that I am doing so from the starting point of praising the past.
I commit myself to when and as someone brings up the past to use it against me as my actions and words from the past to serve their self interest as their starting point for doing so, to realize that as long as I give the past value and an energetic charge then I will be impulse/moved and not be able to stand and breathe in the present here stable as what is here and to not be manipulated and controlled by the past as the past is within the past and NOT who I am unless I decide so, seeing and realizing that memories are only limitation and control and enslavement of the mind.
I commit myself to investigate this point more and to follow up on this point to write it more specific in the future with an actual event to give as context.
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